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I did try every now and again after school too, but I always end up giving up again after a few months cos I never seem to improve, and it’s hard to keep dedicating time to it when there’s other stuff I wanna do and never enough time in the world to do it all >.<

Getting to team up with artists and other different people is part of why I love taking part in game jams so much :D I feel like you can achieve so much more when you team up with other people than trying to do everything on your own :3

That’s brilliant that you managed to get Blank working in the end! It’s a pretty nifty game :D I’ve had that problem with resolution on some games even on my PC, haha. Cos they will launch at some weird resolution that doesn’t match mine, and it can cause menu options to be missing from the screen x3 Most of the time, it’s quite obvious that something is wrong cos other things are cut off, and it looks weird, but sometimes, it’s much harder to tell and you just end up thinking the game is broken when it isn’t >.< haha. So yeah, you’re not dumb x3 Stuff like that happens, haha. Computers are weird >.<

Well, I can just about draw birds badly, but that’s about it x3 I have pretty much no hope with humans cos I can’t get anything right T_T I swear some people are just naturally good at art, haha. Like I know it’s a skill you can learn over time with lots of patience and practice, as you say, but some people can just pick up a pencil and draw with nothing but intuition! I wish I could be like that, haha. My mum can kinda do it. She’s never had any lessons or practice with drawing, but she can somehow imitate a manga-style head on paper with a pencil just by looking at a page in a book! I clearly don’t possess that talent, haha.

I’m sorry your grandma passed away too :( and that really sucks that it was from coronavirus. In some ways, I’m a little glad that my gran didn’t have to try and make it through the covid pandemic because I know it would have made her incredibly miserable being forced to stay indoors. She couldn’t walk, but she always enjoyed going out if I pushed her in her wheelchair even if it was just to the local shops and stuff! Since I was her registered carer, I probably would’ve moved in with her or something during the pandemic, but I would have been so paranoid about accidentally bringing covid to her >.< Dementia is so hard too :( My gran was lucky enough to keep her mind even when the rest of her body failed her, and she always said that she would rather be dead than lose her cognition in any way >.< My aunt’s mother had dementia before she passed last year, and my aunt told us that it was like she wasn’t even the same woman anymore :( And yeah, I have no idea how a parent could handle having to bury a child. I wonder if our grandmas would have got on together! My gran was also a strong woman :3 probably the strongest person I’ve ever known cos life gave her a lot of shit, but somehow, she kept going into old age, bless her!

Well, I didn’t have friends until my late twenties x3 I went through all of school with no friends, haha. People just thought I was weird and didn’t want anything to do with me >.< I now know that’s because I’m autistic, but I didn’t know that back then! I just assumed there was something wrong with me since the other kids didn’t wanna associate with me! It kinda set me up for some really bad experiences with people after leaving school, because whenever someone was nice to me, I thought they wanted to be my friend, and I was really grateful for that, but I didn’t realise they were actually just trying to take advantage of me so they could abuse me >.< Thankfully, I’m a bit better at spotting the signs of that sort of thing now!

But yeah, I met my best friend at a seasonal job I had doing scare acting, haha. We were both cast as creepy nuns xD She noticed that I was just sitting on my own not talking to anyone, and she was kind enough to make a huge effort to talk to me and try to bring me into the group more :3 She’s autistic too, and she could tell that I was before I even knew I was xD

For most of my life, I just kinda assumed I would be friendless forever >.< I even tried really hard at one point to make friends online, but it didn’t go very well cos it was mostly guys that spoke to me, and then they wound up wanting to date, but when we met in person, they either didn’t like me anymore, or they wanted to date me instead of being friends, but I didn’t want to date them, so then we’d just lose touch. I could never have imagined in a million years that I’d make a genuine friend through work! So it just goes to show that anything can happen, and often unexpectedly, haha.

I think it would be great if you end up using Twine more :D I’ve always thought it seemed pretty cool! 

I guess your cousin and my brother are pretty similar x3 He doesn’t eat in his room, but he will wander around the downstairs of the house eating and leaving a trail of crumbs everywhere >.< If he makes himself toast in the kitchen and gets crumbs all over the counter, he’ll just leave them there. If he cooks soup or noodles in a pan, he almost always ends up letting it boil over, then the splats of soup go on the unit and stain it, and he never wipes it up so it just dries on and is even harder to get off when I have to clean it T_T 

And yeah, he just puts his dishes in the washing up bowl for me to do, and he doesn’t even rinse them. He just dumps em in the bowl with food still on the plate! Even though I keep asking him to scrap any leftover stuff into the bin >.> Cos it’s bad enough that he puts stuff there for me to clean instead of cleaning up after himself, but putting dishes with food still on in the washing up bowl is even worse cos then food ends up in the bowl, and if I don’t notice before filling it with water, you get chunks of his food floating around which is gross >.<

I have no idea what my brother would do if he ever had to live on his own cos he just doesn’t know how to do anything for himself >.< He’d just let everything pile up!

It does suck that so many people view things based purely on money :( I guess that’s what capitalism does to a society >.< I hate that one of the first questions people ask when they meet you is, what do you do for work? Cos it’s like, really? Work isn’t what makes a person >.< You’re better off asking someone what they like to do for a hobby because then you’ll actually learn more about someone x3 But for some reason, people seem to think other people are defined by their work, even though most people out there are working jobs they absolutely hate just so they can survive!

Like my dad, for example, he’s a builder/bricklayer, but he wouldn’t wanna talk about it cos he HATES it. He just does it cos it’s the only job he’s ever known since his dad was the same and taught him the trade. Also, a lot of people have an image or an idea of what a stereotypical builder is like, and my dad isn’t like that at all, haha. My dad is shy, silly, and adores nature! But no one will find out that stuff about him if they only ask him about his work x3

It sickens me that the government where I live constantly push the message that if you’re not working/earning enough to pay taxes, you’re a burden and you deserve to live a miserable life >.< People can contribute more to the world around them than just money :( And people deserve to be treated as individual human beings, not slaves or cogs in a system to be exploited by those above them with more money and power. I think that’s one of the reasons I hated working in retail so much in the past x3 cos like, your purpose is to be there to make the people above you more money >.< It doesn’t matter how much time and effort you put into the job, you’ll never be more than just a tool for them to use to get richer. 

It’s also kinda crazy how the smallest difference in what you say can change the way others look at you. Cos I was my grandma’s carer for many years, pretty much ever since we lost my grandad. But I didn’t have the official title of carer. I was just there for her because I loved her and we were super close. It’s not like it’s a decision I made to be a carer, I just did what I did because I wanted to help. So if anyone asked me what I did and I said I was unemployed, they’d look at me like I was a piece of shit. One day, my local job centre suggested I actually fill out some forms to say I was officially my gran’s carer, so I did. Then when people asked what I did, I would say that I’m my gran’s carer, and all of a sudden, their attitude changed and they would say things like “Oh, wow, that’s so sweet of you. That must be hard, giving up your time to look after someone else.” etc. etc. But like, nothing was any different. I was still looking after her the way I had for years before that x3 and I was still technically unemployed! But just saying I was a carer made people see me in a completely different light!

People are too quick to judge I guess >.< I’m just glad that there are also plenty of kind souls out there who are bighearted enough to remind people like us that we have worth even if we don’t have jobs :3 

I just wish that the world could be a more understanding place and that no one has to go through suffering because of the cruelty of other people >.< We’re all stuck on the planet together, so it would be better if we could all just get along and try to bring some happiness into each other’s lives instead of hurting fellow people x3