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A jam submission

Memories of an Island off the coast of FurlsbornView game page

A collection of short nested stories.
Submitted by Nick Murray (@cassettewitch), Imo (@imo_veebooks) — 8 hours, 51 minutes before the deadline
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Memories of an Island off the coast of Furlsborn's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Originality#14.4294.429
Audio#173.2863.286
Overall#203.5713.571
Fun Factor#243.1433.143
Visuals#482.1432.143

Ranked from 7 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

Is your game a video game or a physical game?
video game

Was your game made solo or in a team?
Story: Nick Murray, Code: Imogen Ruth

Did you use any third party assets, if yes what assets did you use?
/

Did you choose from one (or more) of the optional secondary themes?
/

Does your game contain 18+ content (Nudity, Gore, Language)?
/

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Comments

HostSubmitted

Congratulations to you both on winning the Originality category!

Developer(+1)

Oh wow! Thank you so much! That's incredible!

Submitted

I'm not much of a reader, but I think your goal to grow the story out of itself was accomplished. My feedback was going to be based around "being more like Twine," but your page statement has directed me elsewhere. 

I think the story would be more approachable to me if I had a way to adjust indentation or mark sections that I've read already. It's easy to get lost as is.

Music was great touch that not a lot of story games use. Very nice!

HostSubmitted

Really unique presentation of the text, I need to really dive into it off stream to appreciate it properly. I like how you implemented music too, it really adds to the experience. Fantastic work. 

Submitted

Not very gamey, but I loved the story. Nice combination of cosmic horror and folk horror with a bit of scientific verisimilitude thrown in.

Submitted

If you can’t sleep you might as well write

I wonder if this is about you? :^)

A very interesting approach with the structure, I really liked it! You also have a large vocabulary, I had to translate many words I didn’t know. Overall a really great experience, thank you!

Submitted

Really love this game concept, text games are awesome! The story is very compelling and draws you into the narrative. The music is also lovely and fits the mood! I'm slightly two minds about the approach of having the text unfold on the same page. When I got to the end of the branch where (SPOILER) the climate change story line appeared I was unsure of how to continue. Maybe a link to the next branch? As an audio person, I think I'd like to have seen the music link to the text more also eg once you move to a branch that takes you to a new aspect of the story the music could change. 

Submitted(+1)

The story in this game is awesome! The writing is really, really good! The sense that the reader is slowly being dragged into a bottomless pit is intoxicating. As the story goes on, it becomes more and more disturbing.

However, I feel like the part of graphics and interactions are somewhat lacking. The way the text is displayed resembles too much a text editor and all the options appearing at the same time on the screen make it very difficult to keep up with the story. 

I feel that a small tweak, such as forcing the player to make a decision and only showing a paragraph at a time, would greatly improve the feel of this game. Because the story already does such a good job, that change would turn this into a really special game :)