... Haha, I knew this was long, but uh, I ... didn't realize it was this long.
64. In the “Diary of a Madman Vol. 1”, when it says “Looks like it’s quite old. The penmanship”, there are 2 spaces between “The” and the period before it. When it says “running through the forest. But”, there are 2 spaces between “But” and the period before it. When it says “A rabbit boy”, there are 2 spaces between “A” and “rabbit”. When it says "amidst some trees. I noticed however, a large hole”, there are 2 spaces between “I” and “trees.” and there should be a comma between “noticed” and “however”. When it says “It was fascinating, and terryfing all at once”, “terryfing” should be “terrifying”. When it says “Well I guess I wasn’t the first”, there should be a comma between “Well” and “I”.
65. Country bumpkin Red doesn’t know what gramophones are! Ahem, anyways. When she says “find one of these here. It sure does”, there are 2 spaces between “it” and the period before it. When she says “find more records”, there are 2 spaces between “more” and “records”.
66. Country bumpkin narrator also doesn’t know what gramophones are! Okay, the joke is probably worn out by now. When it says “relax and enjoy the games music”, “games” should be “game’s”.
67. Dialogue upon entering slime nest, when Red says “Regardless there’s no way I can fight”, there should be a comma between “Regardless” and “there’s”.
68. Vs the Imp, for the Talk act, when it says “emerge from it’s clenched eye ball”, “it’s” should be “its”, and there shouldn’t be a space between “eye” and “ball”. For the “Shoo” act, when it says “The Imp appears to be annoyed by this”, the sentence doesn’t end with a period.
69. For The Wheel of Fortune item description, there’s no period after the “When Upright” description.
70. For the Heavensrest Mine sign description, “DANNGER!” should be “DANGER!” (unless the guy writing the sign was in such a panic he forgot how to spell, lol).
71. For Red’s dialogue when first entering the merchant camp, when she says “A merchant camp huh?”, there should be a comma between “camp” and “huh”.
72. Shopkeep is written as “Shop Keep” in the first dialogue with him, even though it’s written as “Shopkeep” later.
In Red’s first dialogue with the shopkeep, when he says “wandering around these woods you know”, there should be a comma between “woods” and “you”. When she says “Because of the Wolf right?”, there should be a comma between “Wolf” and “right”. When he says “Passin’ through for business ya know?”, there should be a comma between “business” and “ya”. When he says “excess stock to sell and trade after all”, there should be a comma between “trade” and “after”.
When he says “Blacksmith behind me too. I think” and “lying around. If you’re hunting a Wolf”, there are 2 spaces between “I” and the period behind it, and 2 spaces between “If” and the period behind it.
When he says “you’ll want as many as you can get right?” there should be a comma between “get” and “right”. When he says “And if it’s food you need”, there’s 2 spaces between “it’s” and “food”. When he says “I’m your man lassy”, there should be a comma between “man” and “lassy”.
Shopkeep’s laugh is written as “Heha” … is that intentional?
When he says “I guess that wasn’t a joke huh?”, there should be a comma between “joke” and “huh”. When he says “take care of that here too”, there are 2 spaces between “take” and “care”.
When he says “well we’re travellin’ folk”, there should be a comma between “well” and “we’re”. When he says “You know what that means right?”, there should be a comma between “means” and “right”. When he says “Don’t mention it darlin’!”, there should be a comma between “it” and “darlin’”.
73. When Red thinks to herself “There’s no real choice is there?” there should be a comma between “choice” and “is”.
74. For the Shopkeep Talk dialogue, when he says “But please do stop buy if you need some food”, “buy” should be “by”.
75. For the Shopkeep Ask for Work dialogue, when he says “If we we’re back in town”, “we’re” should be “were”. When he says “Unfortunately there’s not much help I need”, there should be a comma between “Unfortunately” and “there’s”.
76. For the Medicinal Wrap description, when it says “Cures Poison, Bleed, Frostbite and Burns”, there should be a comma between “Frostbite” and “and”.
77. In the “Legend of the Grinning Cat 1” (is it not Vol. 1?), when it says “It sat on a tree branch”, there are 2 spaces between “sat” and “on”. When it says “The cat’s purple fur was striped”, there are 2 spaces between “fur” and “was”. When it says “across its face. A smile that didn’t fade”, there are 2 spaces between “A” and the period before it. When it says “Its voice was chilling”, there are 2 spaces between “was” and “chilling”. When it says “down her spine. Abella was always warned”, there are 2 spaces between “Abella” and the period before it.
With the sentence “But what harm could it bring a girl doomed to die?”, I’m honestly unsure if it’s grammatically correct or not, but it does sound off. Which may be intentional. But if it’s not, I think “But what harm could it bring to a girl doomed to die?” would be better.
With the part where it goes “As it spoke, the toothy maw appeared to stretch wider and wider, until the cat’s face was completely distorted with a maddening glee.” the little book thing that usually goes at the end of the text glitches out and ends up in the middle of the word “that” from “what that cost would actually mean”.
When it says “She pondered if just for a moment, what that cost”, there should be a comma between “pondered” and “if”. When it says “and then foolishly, she accepted”, there should be a comma between “then” and “foolishly”.
When it says “what that cost would”, there are 2 spaces between that and cost.
When it says “Who on earth would read this to a kid?” and “that picture of the cat was just…disturbing to say the least”, there are 2 spaces between “a” and “kid”, and 2 spaces between “to” and “say” (I think?)
78. In the first dialogue with the carpenter, when he says “Unfortunately that’s impossible”, there should be a comma between “Unfortunately” and “that’s”.
When Red says, “Sh*t, so it’s really no good? Isn’t there anything I can do?” the book cursor thing at the end of the dialogue flows out of the box.
When the carpenter says “Good sturdy ones ya hear?”, there should be a comma between “ones” and “ya”.
When he says “and I’ll fix it up for you”, there are 2 spaces between “for” and “you”. When he says “I’ll bet they took the tools there”, there are 2 spaces between “bet” and “they”. When he says “The place will be swarming with them too”, there are 2 spaces between “The” and “place”. When he says “if you die trying to fight off those slimes”, there are 2 spaces between “trying” and “to” (and “slimes” isn’t capitalized).
When he says “That forest will have the logs no doubt”, there should be a comma between “logs” and “no”. When he says “Shouldn’t be to hard to find what I need but, if you get lost come ask me”, “to hard” should be “too hard”, there should be a comma between “need” and “but”, and there should be a comma between “lost” and “come”. When he says “And be careful okay!” there should be a comma between “careful” and “okay”.
When he says “don’t want to find your corpse out there in the morning”, there are 2 spaces between “the” and “morning”.
When Red thinks to herself “And you’ll find my corpse if I don’t anyway”, there’s no period at the end.
79. In the “Main Quest” and “Side Quests” tutorials, you refer to NPC plural first as “NPCS”, then as “NPC’s”. Maybe doing “NPCs” or “NPC’s” universally would be better.
In the Main Quest tutorial, when it says “NPCS Marked with”, “Marked” shouldn’t be capitalized.
In the Side Quests tutorial, when it says “NPC’s marked with “?” meanwhile feature”, there should be commas before and after meanwhile. When it says “can still do “Heart” events however no content”, there should be a semicolon or a period between “events” and “however”. When it says “described with a discreet fade out occurring indeed”, there should be a comma between “described” and “with” (this comma is pretty important), and “indeed” should be “instead”.
80. In the Shops tutorial, when it says “helpful shops each specializing in”, there should be a comma between “shops” and “each”.
In the Alchemist tutorial, when it says “Learn enemy weakness’s”, “weakness’s” should be “weaknesses”.
81. In the second (and subsequent) dialogue with the carpenter, when he says “need three logs too remember”, there should be a comma between “too” and “remember”. When he says “That forest will have the logs no doubt”, there should be a comma between “logs” and “no”, and there are 2 spaces between “have” and “the”.
When he says “Shouldn’t be to hard”, “to hard” should be “too hard”.
82. In the Alchemist Talk dialogue, when he says “bring me the materials you find. You are”, there’s 2 spaces between “find.” and “You”. When he says “You are a hunter after all”, there should be a comma between “hunter” and “after”.
In the initial Alchemist Craft dialogue, when he says “A Hunter huh?”, there should be a comma between “Hunter” and “huh”. When he says “Well I certaintly”, there should be a comma between “Well” and “I”, and “certaintly” should be “certainly”. When he says “could make use of your services then”, there should be a comma between “services” and “then”.
When he says “services then. You kill things”, there’s 2 spaces between “You” and the period before it. When he says “salvage from them. And I can use”, there’s 2 spaces between “And” and the period before it.
Also, 2 small things of note. 1, in the initial Alchemist Craft dialogue, his title doesn’t show up at the top of the dialogue box (no little indicator that he’s “Alchemist”). Also, the whole initial dialogue repeats if I choose the “Nevermind” option then go back to “Craft” without completely exiting interaction with him.
83. For the “Alchemic Elixier” item, it seems like “elixier” is the German word for what is “elixir” in English, from what Google tells me? I don’t know if choosing “elixier” is intentional, so I’ll just mention it.
84. In the Alchemist Intel dialogue for Wyrens, when he says “Wyrens huh?” there should be a comma between “Wyrens” and “huh”. When he says “Nasty beasties these ones”, there should be a comma between “beasties” and “these”. When he says “The way I see it you’ve got”, there should be a comma between “it” and “you’ve”. When he says “two options really”, there should be a comma between “options” and “really”.
When he says “go straight for the suckers body”, “suckers” should be “sucker’s”. When he says “their mighty fast suckers”, “their” should be “they’re”.
When he says “fast suckers so if you ain’t”, there should be a comma between “suckers” and “so”. When he says “An’ if you got magic that”, there should be a comma between “magic” and “that”. When he says “That’s even better lass”, there should be a comma between “better” and “lass”.
85. In the Alchemist Intel dialogue for Undead Hounds, when he says “Undead Hounds is it?”, there should be a comma between “Hounds” and “is”. When he says “Heh, unnatural these ones”, there should be a comma between “unnatural” and “these”.
When he says “Pry the work of some Witch I’ll bet”, is “Pry” supposed to be “Probably”? Also, comma between “Witch” and “I’ll”. When he says “Spose we’re lucky it’s just dogs then ain’t we?”, “Spose” should be “S’pose”, and there should be a comma between “then” and “ain’t”.
When he says “put them down for good forget ‘bout the usual”, there should be a comma between “good” and “forget”.
86. In the Alchemist Intel dialogue for Shrooms, when he says “Worried what they might do to you huh?”, there should be a comma between “to” and “huh”. When he says “These are tricky ones ya know?”, there should be a comma between “ones” and “ya”.
When he says “you can’t bleed em out”, “em” should have an apostrophe before it (‘em), given how you write it elsewhere.
When he says “That pollen is poisonous as well so”, there should be a comma between “well” and “so”. When he says “If I were you I’d go for that”, there should be a comma between “you” and “I’d”. When he says “Those tentacles are a problem too though”, there should be a comma between “too” and “though”. When he says “Of course being a plant like thing”, there should be a comma between “course” and “being”. When he says “You’re a seed bed to them remember?”, there should be a comma between “them” and “remember”. When he says “Once they coat you in that gunk they’ll”, there should be a comma between “gunk” and “they’ll” (I think?).
87. In the Alchemist Intel dialogue for Imps, when he says “Imps eh?”, there should be a comma between “Imps” and “eh”. When he says “Creepy ones ain’t they?”, there should be a comma between “ones” and “ain’t”. When he says “Bit more reliable maybe but less effective than a good stab”, there should be commas before and after maybe.
88. In the Alchemist Intel dialogue for Golems, when he says “Plannin’ a trip to the Abandoned Mines are ya?”, there should be a comma between “Mines” and “are”. When he says “That bein’ said if you’re askin’ guess you’re plannin’ on doin’ jus’ that.”, there should be a comma between “said” and “if”, and a comma between “askin’” and “guess”.
When he says “Etheric particles condensed and compact”, I feel like it would be cleaner to make “condensed” and “compact” the same tense (either “condensed and compacted” or “condense and compact”).
When he says “Others that they’re part of nature”, there should be a comma between “Others” and “that”. When he says “Those bodies of theirs are tough and being made of rocks”, there should be a comma between “tough” and “and”. When he says “Oh ya an’ if you plan on goin’ minin’ for ore be careful”, there should be a comma between “ya” and “an’”, and “ore” and “be”.
- And, welp, Alchemist is where I stopped. I'll go through the rest of the merchant camp later, then look through the forest, and then finally maybe I can fulfill my yearning for the mines and fight Pinocchio!!!
