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A jam submission

Sweet Science – The Girls from Silversee Castle (Demo)View game page

A light-hearted visual novel about time, love and science
Submitted by THE LAST SECRET (@_THELASTSECRET_) — 6 days, 17 hours before the deadline
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Sweet Science – The Girls from Silversee Castle (Demo)'s itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Sound/Music#14.0004.000
UI#14.1674.167
Overall Fun#24.2224.222
Art#34.2224.222

Ranked from 18 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Developer

I have just released a new update, incorporating some of your suggestions (and more, including a cute cat!) Here's more on that: https://thelastsecret.itch.io/sweetscience/devlog/507910/new-update-about-the-ca...

Thank you all for your help to make "Sweet Science" a great game. I will work hard on it! :)

Submitted(+1)

Hello!

I was able to enjoy the VN up to the machine translations. I think what you have is a very likable, lighthearted slice-of-life story and setting.  The AI art is well suited, and the characters are all distinct in backgrounds and personalities, as they play off each other nicely, especially in the D&D scene. That being said, I still would like to make a couple of suggestions.

I feel like AI art tends to makes the character sprites stiff. In other words, the sprite poses are a little bit too perfect. They play nicely to their core personalities but not so much to their emotions. And speaking of emotions, since the theme of the game leans towards being comical and light-hearted, I feel the emotions should either be more cartoonish or animated. I'm not sure if AI art can generate faces like that, however. Also, I feel it is hard to focus on both the emotions of the characters and the textbox: the words are too far away from the faces. My suggestion is to either increase the sprite size or move the textbox a little upwards and increase the font size. I feel Renpy's default font size is way smaller than non-renpy visual novels, so you can always increase it if there's room. 

I also feel some scenes go too fast, especially if the scenes are emotional or dramatic. It is better to take things slower in those passages, since readers might miss out on certain elements, especially if they are elements you want your reader to pay close attention to. A good way to either make scenes slower or bring attention certain ideas to the player is to reiterate. A lot. It might look repetitive on a word document, but I feel like good visual novels do that, or at least the ones I've read. I tried scribing word-for-word a fifteen minute scene from one of my favorite visual novels as a writing exercise, and boy, do they reiterate a lot of the same ideas in different words. But it's preferable, since readers tend to not flip back or check the text history, and it helps control the pacing. Speaking of which, another suggestion writing-wise is to limit the use of pronouns when referring to objects or persons in the previous textbox sentence. E.g. readers might fail to fully pay close attention to one sentence only to be hit with "And so she did this" in the next textbox sentence, completely forgetting who "she" is, and is forced to flip back. This example isn't referring to anything specific in your writing, for I am guilty of this as well.

Anyway, those are my two cents, feel free to accept or ignore them. I hope you continue to enjoy making the game, and good luck with it!

Developer(+1)

Hi Improb, thank you very much for your feedback and I'm happy that you enjoyed the game! :)

Indeed, at some scenes I was thinking about switching to an SD  style to make it more fun. There were some problems that let me decide against it, though: First, players who are not as familiar with anime tend to be put off by that. Second, more importantly, the AI art is limited in that respect, as you suggested. It's pretty good in giving cute SD characters (which you can see at the start of the game with Petra-chan), but funny, hilarious characters are difficult to generate. Using a larger font size would indeed be an idea. It's just that in some scenes it will cover too much of the picture, I felt. Maybe I'll add it as an option.

The timing of a VN is always a very crucial and difficult problem. Ultimately, it's also a matter of taste of the player: remember that I thought your game might be a bit slow? Maybe we have simply different taste there? I will have to collect feedback from multiple players on that to find the optimal amount of progressing. I will also revisit some of the "slower" scenes and see whether extending them slightly would seem to be a good idea. It's definitely a good point to take a closer look at, thanks for pointing it out to me!

Hi. I was one of the streamers who participated in the Feedback Quest. Before anything, I'd like to give a warning on what I am about to say. I am going to be very critical and frankly quite harsh in my critique. Its even more so in the VOD of my stream. I sincerely apologise in advance if I offend.

I had issues with the game from the start knowing that it was made using AI art. As an artist and seeing the results of AI towards myself and more so my peers, its very common that AI Art will put off a lot of people. I believe in your sincere effort of making the game but I would recommend that you either stick to limiting the character models and just using one rather than multiples of the same character as the switches stand out a lot and a reasonably sharper eye will notice it. It shows in the background, it shows in the saturation. The UI also feels lacking. 

A Visual Novel is often built upon two things, the art and the story. The art for this is frankly a weaker element of the game so now it hinges practically entirely on the story which sadly doesn't work. The setting of 1992 would not have words like "Normie" there. Since the art was such a point of contention, any small mistakes become magnified even more so. I've also noticed a LOT of scientific theory in the route I played which frankly, I do understand a lot of it but even if it is essential to the plot, feels forced, too convoluted, and unnecessary. It would put off most people before they even get the pay off of said information being used. There was also a lack of believeability in the world as it was. Suddenly being transported into 1992, having a cat eared girl with little to no explanation, there were too many jarring things that made me lose connection with the world and it lacked believeability. I found myself pulling away often trying to process what I just read, to reconcile it with what was introduced at the earlier segments of the game and such. Another thing of note, the main character at least to me, thus far has been very unlikeable. Him calling girls Nerds after establishing that he himself is a Lonely person who had no friends now suddenly having girls vying for his participation and him dismissing them. His character lacks believeability. 

HOWEVER there was one part of the game that I played at some point that I truly enjoyed. It was when they played the RPG tabletop game. The art for their game characters and the lack of switching designs, the fantastical writing and build up of the world and surrounding, the very descriptive writing used and interesting plot albeit the fight in it was a bit hard to fully enjoy but again, it was good. I feel a genuine knack for Fantasy Writing. You made a believable world of a TableTop RPG and it felt genuinely good, I FELT connected to it and invested in the story. I feel that you have good strength here that would benefit in the future.

I praise the effort and hope you will keep making more. I enjoyed the bits that I enjoyed very much. Again I must apologise if you did see the VOD or read this and are taken aback. I hope you will continue to make the games you love. 

Developer (1 edit) (+1)

Thank you very much for the stream! No worries about being critical, but let me be open too: Ai art has its limits. The whole process of making this game is about exploring exactly these limitations, so take it as a service for artists to have something to roast. ;) On the other hand: if you read the reviews of non-artists for the game, they typically mention that the graphics are nice. So while artists easily notice the glitches and problems, usual players might not. (That is something to worry about as an artist if you see AI as a competitor.)

Regarding the science content: how much of that you get depends on your route, of course. As the game is called "science girls", however, the trigger warning is there... ;) I don't only want to tell a story, I also want to make the players get a bit interested in science topics and to learn something. If I achieve this with some of the players, it's good, but of course I'll take your comments and try to improve on that.

Your critics of the story logic or the main characters' attitudes is understandable. However, all of these points are questions that will be answered later on in the story, e.g., the main character changes his negative attitude over time. (It's a story about self-improvement if you want.) You will also know how he ended up travelling back in time etc. at the end of the game. Also you will learn in Azuki's arc about why she has the cat ears and who or what she really is. – As an author it's always tricky to strike the balance between explaining everything upfront and keeping some suspense and mysteries to resolve them later. If one goes for the latter option you might end up having players like you who conclude that nothing is explained and everything is random. If one goes for the former option than the story might feel predictable and boring.

In any case, thanks again for streaming and for your comments! :)

P.S.: I also like a lot how the RPG came out. ;)

(+1)

I respect the effort you put into the game. Again I apologise if I offended with my critique.
Again regardless of my comments and critique, you should aim to realize your vision above all else. If what I said helps, then awesome. 

Please keep up the good work.

Developer

Don't worry, I was definitely not offended. I only learn from critique, and yours was very polite! :)

(+1)

Hello! I was one of the streamers who took part in Feedback Quest, and I'm here to leave some comments I had while playing.

I absolutely love this game. The artwork is incredibly adorable and the story is very cute. The group playing a tabletop RPG was such a great addition. It also does a great job of giving numerous small choices that slightly change the direction but don't affect things too much. This results in the player feeling very invested.

Finally, I did see that the majority of the artwork was AI generated. I know for some people, this can be a very touchy subject. That said, I do feel this is one of the best uses of it; it doesn't attempt to replicate any specific artist, instead taking on a common style of anime art and it doesn't make the art itself the focus. Instead, it uses the artwork to tell a lovely story.

I'm excited to see where this goes. I hope it does NOT ever gain hentai elements and keeps the cuteness it has now.

Developer (2 edits) (+1)

Hi! Thank you so much for the nice comment! 

I will have to check out for your stream as soon as I have time. It's a pity that I didn't know about it before. I would have loved to join it live.

Regarding the endings, do not worry: no hentai. If you go for a romantic ending, it will be exactly this: romantic and nothing more. My standard is that everything could air on day TV and that no streamer ever would run into problems with Twitch or Youtube policies. when doing a live stream. (I also simply love my characters too much to do anything indecent to them...)


EDIT: I have now watched your stream. Very nice, and you really had fun, I could tell! :D I have posted a link to your stream on Twitter.

By the way: I have updated the game in the meanwhile, so a few minor bugs that you have encountered are gone now, and the opening is new as well. The song that sounded familiar to you was by the way a classical piece "Pictures at an Exhibition" by Mussorgski from 1874, so I was quite amused when it reminded you on Zelda... More about the AI art in my game on my blog: https://the-last-secret.mozellosite.com/news/

(+1)

I have no doubt that I will stream multiple full playthroughs of this game to see all of the various endings. I'll do my best to let you know when I do!

Developer(+1)

Wow, that's fantastic! :)

Developer(+1)

Thank you all for your very nice feedback! It makes me happy to see when players like my games. I will do my best to complete "Sweet Science" by this summer. Expect a few surprises on the way to the endings... :)

(+1)

Sweet Science - This game is really great. My favourite are Azuki and Petra. They are both so sweet. The Musik fit to the scene and I have always the feeling that the creator from this game put a lot of love and work in this game. The Story is a lot of fun. I would say that everybody who love this game, should play "The Last Secret". Its free on Steam and make a Guide to help you in the game when help is need! Sweet Science mention sometimes something from "The Last Secret". That is for me some kind of a easter egg for me. Because I know in this moments what they talk about and that make me more happy, because I think that The Last Secret is a great game too. Thank you so mutch for this both wonderful games! Do more such great work!


Nice day from Germany!

(+1)

Jockeying the neural network generators seems to be not as easy as you would think. I like and appreciate the well rounded and consistent look and feel of the game even more so. I am sure that a lot of work went into this. It is only the demo and I have not yet played all paths, but the characters and the story are very well written. Overall a nice mixture of fun, mystery and dramatic elements with a lot of puzzles that keep you entertained and integrate well into the story. The different times at which the story plays supply a (multi-tiered) nostalgia to a lot of the potential players - cleverly picked! And me being who I am, I have enjoyed the romantic plot elements a lot. It does not hurt, that each of the girls is likeable in her own way - and attractive ^^;. Although I did not really have the time today, I found myself pulled into the game until I hit the end of the demo. Now I am very much looking forward to finding out how the mystery plays out in the end. And naturally to enjoy more of the sweet, sweet science on my way there ^_-.

(+1)

Very great game!! I like it a lot!! It have a very great art style and an awesome sound and music :D Also it’s a very fun game to play, so I like it a lot and I recommend it to anyone interested in VN games

(+1)

Impressive animations! Enthusiastic compliments to the author!


Just try it out!!!   :-)

Submitted(+1)

I'm having a great time with this game. The art's beautiful and the story and character interactions are really fun. Did AI help with the story as well as the art? It looks like you must have done a large amount of research to make this. I liked how in the RPG, when Sylvia was confronted with a with a person even more pompous than her, she put them in their place pretty quickly XD

Some observations: One minor error -- in the English tutorial, Patti introduces herself as Petra. Second, I had to refresh the game to watch the opening because I accidently clicked during it. You might add some text in the corner saying "Click to skip opening" so people know how to skip (or not skip) the opening.

Developer(+1)

Thanks for your feedback! I'm happy that you like the game. :)

The story is not made by AI, but I did ask ChatGPT for specific ideas at some points, and used some of the inspirations. E.g., the pet dragon is actually a ChatGPT idea! (And isn't it cute? ;)

The skipping with mouse click should actually work, so that would be a bug that I need to find... Patti is called Petra in the German version, so probably there was a small mistake that let this name sneak in... ;) I will check where the errors come from.

Submitted(+1)

The opening did skip when I clicked it. The reason I refreshed the game was that I wanted see it and had not realized clicking would skip it. Sorry if I did not word myself correctly.

That's neat ChatGTP suggested the dragon pet idea. Now I wonder if ChatGTP was actually created by future Marie...

Developer (2 edits) (+1)

Marie as dev of ChatGPT is actually a very clever idea... :D

Btw: I have added a "click to skip opening" message to the opening now. It will be in the next update.

(+1)

Ich mag die Charaktere, gut gestaltet und sehr sympathisch. Die Musik ist Klasse und die Story Entwicklung sich prima. Die Rätsel und die Aufgaben im Spiel sind etwas für Leute die Freude am knobeln haben. Nicht ganz einfach, aber lösbar..

Eine Empfehlung 👍🏽

(+1)

Ich mag die Charaktere, gut gestaltet und sehr sympathisch. Die Musik ist Klasse und die Story Entwicklung sich prima. Die Rätsel und die Aufgaben im Spiel sind etwas für Leute die Freude am knobeln haben. Nicht ganz einfach, aber lösbar..

Eine Empfehlung 👍🏽

Developer

Another small update: now with a new fun trailer and improved English translation! :)

Developer

I've updated the game. Now the soundtrack is accessible in the main menu. As a special treat for this Feedback Quest, I have added a first (classic) version of the song "Time", sung by Emilia. I hope you like it! :)

Jam Host (4 edits) (+2)

Streamed this for about 1.5 hour, it was a fun stream, the story and the characters are loveable, sometimes it's very easy to notice the inconsistency of the AI sprites BUT I can make good jokes about them since it's AI and it's becoming a feature, I guess. I love the details that is shared in the STEM classes. 

Only feedback where you can improve the game as it's current stage at 1.5 hr in, that would be to fill the quiet plots with BGM for every moment, for reading the VN as a player yes those lines will go by quickly but for a streamer who is reading the lines, the VN will look better if there's always BGM in the BG.  Your game segment on YT:

Developer(+2)

I've just sent you a PM about this, but let me again mention that I appreciate your streaming and I really liked watching the whole thing. IT#s such a pity that I didn't read your message in time to be there live. I hope that next time that'll work out!

I've just fixed the minor issues that came up during the stream, in particular the missing translations at two sentences and the missing background music. – There are only a few scenes that I want to keep without background music, but this concerns mostly the math class when you have to solve some math puzzle or the teacher explains something complicated. There distracting music is annoying. ;)

The update (version 1.2) is on itch!

Thank you again for your help! It was great fun! :D

Jam Host (5 edits) (+2)

For the music during a problem solving arc, I think you can pick some kind of ambience, so there is sound, not silence, it's important the game doesn't lose its own sound no matter what moment to keep the player immersed, because you have no control of the player's own environment, silence in the game just means they hear other sounds instead from their own environment and it is definitely going to bring them out of immersion, your player may even assign a sound themselves which may not fit the mood of the game you want to achieve.  (which I had to do it for my stream) Glad you enjoyed the stream vod, I enjoyed streaming it as well, I miss doing this. lol 

Developer(+1)

Good point though! 

I think I got a bit biased because one of my first test players just hates listening to music... :D

Submitted(+2)

From what I played, the story is enjoyable, and the AI art is mostly impressive, though it regularly falls in the uncanny valley. But as an experiment, it's cool! I like the tiny bits of trivia that pop occasionally, and even though most of them aren't translated, I know just enough german to make them out. 

The interactive moments (I took the math class) were welcome though maybe a bit too far apart, it would have been nice to play even a simplified version of werewolves for instance :D

Good job! 

Developer(+2)

Thank you for your feedback! I'm glad you liked the game. I'll check whatever has been untranslated into English. There shouldn't be anything left, but seems I was wrong: it's easy to overlook something...

I was thinking about including some Werewolves arc, but decided against it. There's already role playing, Go, then there will be star gazing, "treasure" hunting, time travel fun and a disco night, so I thought it's enough... ;)

Developer (2 edits) (+2)

Oh, I've found all missing translations, I think. I've fixed the game and uploaded the update.

EDIT: No, I've overlooked two, but now everything should be fine (version 1.2).