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Yowl! What a Strange Hotel

A topic by Zargo Games created Mar 21, 2019 Views: 1,623 Replies: 59
Viewing posts 1 to 31

This thread is for a playthrough of my game Yowl! What a Strange Hotel. If anyone wants to join in before the game actually starts, just reply here, we could use one or two more players.


Checking in


Also checking in! :D

(C'monnn, join us, guys! This game looks like so much fun.)


Checking in, looks fun!


So before we begin we have to decide a few things.

First, we have to name the hotel. I don't have any particular ideas at the moment, and if we have trouble coming up with one I'm sure there's a good random generator.

Second, we should cover safety tools. We should establish lines and veils so we know what kind of content should be handled "off-screen" and what content should not be handled period. I'm going to go ahead and say no sexual assault, even off-screen, as that has the potential to trigger or upset many people. Anything else is up to you. Also, if something in a post is making you uncomfortable, we can use the X-card. Comment an X under a post and we'll stop and work out what's the problem together.

Finally, we should decided the frequency of posts. I work nights, so I will likely be posting at a different time than the rest of you, which has the potential to get me left behind if we post too frequently. I'm thinking we do a post a day per person at most, and if we need to ask questions or whatnot use replies to handle that so the feed doesn't get cluttered. We'll go in turns, and I'd be happy to go first but if anyone else wants to go first I'll concede.

I've never run a PbP game before so if there's anything else I should cover before we begin, you'd probably know better than me


Maybe we could name the hotel something generic like it's a motel or something? We could go a lot of directions. 

I can't think of anything off limits for me 

Daily posts per person is probably ideal


one name I liked from spamming a name generator was “Panorama Motel”


I'm really happy to go with whatever, for tone and post frequency. Once a day seems fine.

For names, maybe something with an edge of wrongness, like Comfortable Breath Motel or Reliably Hotel or Eternal Politeness Hostel. Generic & flexible like Panorama Motel is fine for me too. If anyone has a particular mood or theme or genre they're leaning towards I'm happy to be a follower.

Do you have anything to add, MxKit?

Should we just vote on a name and move on? It's been 6 days since MxKit's last post


I say so, they haven't been on Twitter either


I'm sorry I disappeared for so long, RL and sick conspired to hit me at the same time. I see everyone's still working stuff out, and I'm def still interested, so if no one minds I'm definitely still up for playing and will be around from now on!


Glad you're back!

So the name suggestions I've seen are Panorama Motel, Comfortable Breath Motel, Reliably Hotel, and Eternal Politeness Hostel. I like Panorama Motel or Eternal Politeness Hostel, what does everyone else think?


I think I'm more into the idea of a motel than a hostel, personally

I think I am too


Eternal Panorama Motel?


I like this

it works for me!

Alrighty, what do we need to start? 

We should pick someone to go first, then they roll dice to see what rating their review is and they write the first review. I’ll probably be mostly away from my computer until late Sunday so if one of you wants to volunteer to go first, feel free!


I don't mind waiting for you, personally, so you can give us an idea of how it might start! And maybe we can figure out some kind of easy to remember order so that we always know whose turn it is? Like whoever starts, we go in alphabetical order by username after that?


Is this shade about us saying we should start without you

I'm fine going alphabetically. I'm at work and have some free time now so I guess I'll go first, then it would be BJK's turn


Is this game already full? It sounds really interesting!

feel free to join! Let us know if there's anything you want behind lines or veils and otherwise that's really all we need until it's your turn!

How do I know when it’s my turn? 


From the looks of it, the turn order is Zargo Games, BJKWhite, ContrarianQueen, then you, then me!

My first roll was a 5, so a 5 out of 6 star review. I'll get started on that now


Good Vibes

By user: Colin44454

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

I stayed in room 26 at Eternal Panorama Motel for three days for a work conference and my experience was mostly positive. The room was always clean, the staff was friendly and helpful, and the singing was soothing. When the song kicked in, I relaxed so much that I fell asleep almost immediately. In fact, after I fell asleep I woke up and I’d missed the rest of the conference and my phone was full of increasingly desperate inquiries about my whereabouts from my boss, but the singing was so soothing that I just put my phone down and went back to sleep. My only complaint was that the swimming pool was closed for maintenance during my stay. That was a shame, but I’m not sure I would have made it out to the pool when I was so relaxed in my room.


noisy but okay

By user: glttrpnk06

★ ★ ★ ★  ☆☆

room was okay but too small
but i guess no room is big enough when staying with your dad
who snores
and farts
bed okay though
bit soft
but okay
vending machine good
full hp restore from generic nobrand plain packet snacks
think they were bbq
nothing on packet = mystery flavour
anyway overall you get 4 out of 6 stars
pretty okay but don't get cocky
'not enough words' how many words do you need automatic form thing
like what else can i actually say
oh i liked the way the light came in at night
sunset and then the signs outside
then dawn
didn't sleep much but not blaming the motel for that
standard insomnia + noisy people in other rooms = nosleep combo
like what were they doing in there all night
just flushing the toilet over and over it sounded like
+more squelching noises than you'd maybe expect tbh
still not enough words huh
this is like a **** essay
haha *ed out my **** even as i typed it
total hunter2 situation
how does that even work
that shouldn't work?
anyway we're about to go if dad can get the door open so you'd better accept it this time


Horrific service. Cannot recommend. 

By user: Crewtater


I'm honestly shocked at how poor the staff acted during my visit. The only time they would even come near me was when I was in the dining area and a waiter had to quickly interact with me to get my order and deliver my food. I don't know what I did to deserve this kind of treatment, but I'm not happy. Room service wouldn't even come when I called, they didn't even pick up! If this is the company's idea of a prank, I am not amused! 


False Advertising

By user: emmas_grandma

★ ★☆☆☆☆

In all my years of travel, even on my 40th birthday voyage to the Soviet Union, I have never been so confused. My travel agent clearly specified that this was to be a reputable establishment. However, I was kept up at all hours by an infernal racket from all sides of the room that sounded like an aria from Carmina Burana. I did not sign up to sleep in a bordello.

Two stars for the handsome young concierge who helped me with my valise.


Lovely Staff, with a few damp spots

By user: WraysburyRaspberry

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

Absolutely beautiful! My room was nearly right by the pool, only couple minutes walk, it had great colors and decorations (all these light blues and greens), the temperature was perfect (I find hotel air conditioners usually runs way too cold) and the bed was the softest I've ever experienced at a hotel. I didn't have much of the food, but I liked it a lot.

I'm deducting a star for only two reasons, both staff related:

•For one, there were people sneaking into the pool after hours EVERY night I was there, splashing around really loudly; it sounded like they were having water fights and doing cannonballs out there. I let the staff know after the first night thinking they'd want to do something about it, but they said some vague stuff about there being no security cameras at the pool area so there was no way to know who'd done it. They said to let them know if it happened again, but when I told them the next morning they said they'd "look into it" but I got the feeling they were kind of writing me off. It kept happening every night for a week, I just stopped complaining about it after that!

•One of the housecleaners must have knocked over one of the flower vases and tried to refill it, and didn't do a great job. Came back after dinner on night four and found a big wet patch on the carpet near the dresser beside the beds, and when I went into the bathroom there was water on the sink counter and some on the floor. I let the staff know, and to their credit they didn't treat me as a nuisance or anything for complaining after my complaints about the noises at the pool, they apologized and asked if I'd like someone to come and clean it up (I already had) and said it wouldn't happen again. Unlike the pool this was a one-time problem, it hadn't happened before and it didn't happen again. I wouldn't have deducted a star just for this, but I thought I'd mention it since it was such a surprise.

Other than the above problems, the staff was completely lovely, very friendly and quick to handle things. It was a pleasure to stay here. They might just want to consider security cameras around the pool area or something, or better locks on the gates at night. I would still absolutely recommend this hotel and I'd definitely stay here again!


Excellent Service

by user: S0ccerM0m

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

I have never been as impressed by a motel than I have by Eternal Panorama Motel! From the moment I stepped foot inside the place, the staff were there to take my bags and help me pick out the ideal room for a very reasonable price. The cleaning staff was very prompt, and the concierge always answered the phone within two rings. The pool, which was much bigger than I’d expected, had the friendliest lifeguards attending, and they saw to my every need. I honestly felt like royalty. I never saw the kitchen staff (the breakfast bar was pretty good for motel standards), but I have to assume that they’re just as friendly as everyone else.

The room was spacious, well heated, and the shower setup was exquisite. The bed was comfortable and I slept like a baby.

There were a few small mix-ups during my stay, but they didn’t really impact my enjoyment. The first was that I ended up in a room with two beds even though I traveled here alone. They promised me that it wouldn’t cost me anything extra when I pointed out the error, so that worked out. Also, when I was leaving I asked the concierge to help me pack my suitcases. When he was helping, he handed me a soccer ball and insisted that it was mine. Despite my insistence that it wasn’t mine, he kept insisting until I just took it. He’s really too cute to fault him for this though. Who knows, if I ever have kids I could give it to them.

Unforgivably Dire

By user: VeteranVisitor


My dear fellow traveller, first be armed with the knowledge that I consider myself a connoisseur of hotels, motels, resorts, hostels, backpackers, auberges, inns, lodges, spas, and all other manner of temporary abodes. I shall not list my full credentials here but know that I have stayed in literally dozens of such places in over four different countries. Thus you may take my opinion as not just that of your average amateur, but that of a seasoned pseudo-professional.

With that preamble out of the way we come to the main topic of discussion. Eternal Panorama Motel, a reasonably priced and seemingly popular destination for travellers of all descriptions. Unfortunately I cannot place myself amidst the number of apparently satisfied customers who have stayed in this place, about which I can find no more fitting descriptor than 'hovel'.

Let us begin with the room itself. Upon first glance, perfectly adequate. However! To the expert eye of one such as myself, the veneer of respectability and, regrettably, hygiene is soon revealed as the FARCE it truly is. The carpets, for example, have a certain quality of squelchiness that speaks to frequent drenchings of a liquid nature. Tracing this back to its source we find not one but MANY culprits, from the shower (sporadically expulsive) to the sink (perhaps plumbed in reverse, judging by the amount and, to be perfectly frank, foulness of the liquid bursting forth from the drainage hole) to the lavatory (the less said about which the better). There was also a distinct odour about the place, perhaps not noticeable to most, but to one such as I, with an extraordinarily sensitive nose, it was both obvious and odious.

I shan't go on at length about the bed (uncomfortably flaccid, with an unpleasantly damp quality) or the staff (equally flaccid, similarly damp). I shan't waste words on the pool (into which I dipped a single toe, and regret even that small gesture) or the food (one whiff of which turned my stomach to such an extent that I was forced to immediately vacate the premises and embark upon a brisk constitutional).

I will say that the view at night was utterly spectacular, and I found myself particularly transfixed by the natural splendour of the sky. Indeed, upon returning from my evening walk I discovered that I had been away for several hours longer than I had thought, and it was well past midnight! This is especially unusual for me, as my internal timing is uncommonly precise. Let us assign both blame and credit to the wonders of the scenery in this magnificent part of our wondrous world! However, the quality of the landscape surrounding one's lodgings has absolutely nothing to do with the motel itself, and as such will never affect my final score. So too would the nocturnal activity in the motel's asymmetrically spacious pool area, despite being distasteful in the extreme, not affect my rating of the place. I suppose the motel's staff could attempt to control such shenanigans, but an effort to please all often ends up pleasing none. I do not judge them for allowing such behaviour to go on unchecked, and consider their actions (or lack thereof!) in this matter to be justified. I strive to be eminently fair in my ratings, do please believe that.

With all of that said it would take a minor miracle to force me to stay in this place again. I shall be avoiding it with extreme prejudice in the future, and I urge you, my dear fellow traveller, to do the same.

You’re up, ContrarianQueen


sorry!! give me like an hour


Intensely Average

By user: BalefulSticks


I travel a lot, and I've been to my fair share of good and bad hotels. Never, however, have I encountered anything so aggressively *plain.*  The moment I walked into the front door, I was confronted by a basic grey room with a lone receptionist, who checked me into my room after a brief wait. Inside my room was a single bed, a checkered carpet, and a TV. The service was fine, but nothing spectacular. The pool was closed the entire time I was there, sadly not opening until I packed my bags. Most amenities were the same way, come to think about it. Regardless, it was fine. My room was functional and it was relatively inexpensive. If you need a cheap, decent place to stay I'd tell you to go here.

You’re up, Lucian

Lucian passed so it’s MxKit’s turn


Alright, mine'll be up in an hour or two!

(2 edits) (+1)

Go to a Holiday Inn instead!

By user: M4rkusS


Or some off-the-highway no-name motel. At least then you'll know you're getting exactly what you pay for.

I'll agree with other reviewers that the Eternal Panorama seems fairly priced, but that's as much as I can say for it and believe me, you'll find it would be a ripoff at half the price. It looks beautiful at first glance, and the location itself is beautiful, I'll give it that, but the hotel has nothing to do with the sea air and the night skies. The hotel being beautiful is just surface-level and I believe hides major problems that the owners don't wish to spend money on looking into. Their plumbing is a mess, the water in my room wouldn't run above tepid no matter what I tried, and the pipes rattled so badly I expected something to break. There's something slimy about the pool, and from my one brief visit I'm almost sure they don't bother to chlorinate; it's amazing the whole thing isn't completely overtaken by algae. The hotel restaurant mixes a good drink, but even that can't make me give them more than a pity star, since the food was almost as tepid as the water and incredibly bland, though at least it didn't make me sick.

And I feel I should give special negative mention to the staff. I don't know the hiring guidelines this place has, but if you want to half-*** your job I guess you should apply at this place. About half the staff was cold, dismissive, and seemed to go out of their way to ignore and avoid me, and the other half was what I could only describe as clingy. You'd think prompt service would be a good thing, but the number of times room service checked to see if I wanted anything, the number of times housecleaning tried to visit my room (once they walked right in while I was reading in my room and started trying to clean while I was still right there!), even the woman at the front desk, who I initially appreciated for how quickly and cheerfully she got me my room key, kept trying to engage me to advise me on what tourist activities I should try in the area, what I should order at the hotel restaurant, etc. I'd take that over, say, the restaurant staff being almost impossible to flag down or the help desk never answering the phone (and I swear they told me to my face that a bellhop would help me with my bags checking in and checking out, but I never even saw one), but it was more than a little offputting!

Seriously. If you're in the area, just stay somewhere else. Anywhere else. I'll certainly never be coming back.


Sorry for the delay! I’ll try to have my post up tonight sometime


Wet and Noisy

by user: JuliaMott7

★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Before I air my grievances I just want to say that my partner had a much better time at the motel than me and that I thought the staff was very friendly. With that out of the way, I had a miserable time. There were several water leaks that led to the floor of my hotel room being damp, which being a carpet floor made it incredibly gross. As if that wasn’t enough, all day and night there was really loud singing coming from the swimming pool. I never went swimming but my partner did and she said she didn’t see who was singing but that it sounded much more pleasant up close. Whatever it was, it kept me up all night. It wasn’t so bad during the day when I could drown it out with my own music but it was just so loud and the rhythm was so erratic that I couldn’t fall asleep to it.

I guess if you don’t get any leaks and they stop who/whatever is singing, then this could be a nice place to stay. However, I just can’t bring myself to recommend it based on my stay.


made me feel like a ghost-so good

By user: TrappedInMyBody

 ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

I chose this motel pretty randomly, just used an app and the price was good so I went for it. Check in was through the app and had no problems. Also got a discount which was nice so if you're booking try the app. at this point I'll just say that I suffer from anxiety and a few other issues which I only mention here because usually staying at places is a bit of a bad time. I don't really like it when people talk to me or look at me especially strangers. So checking in automatically was great actually. Had to go to the front desk but didn't have to interact much at all. There was a staff member there but they didn't even look at me just put the key on the desk and I took it and went to my room. No talking or anything so A++++ for that experience.

Room was fine, just standard motel I don't know. bit damp and the bathroom had some issues but whatever right. for the price you can't complain but I'll take off one star because well not perfect. Usually at a motel or whatever I have at least a dozen uncomfortable anxiety encounters a day but at this place it was zero. Even when I went out of the room to do whatever if there were staff around they just ignored me completely. Like I didn't even exist. It was amazing. Like a dream for me. opposite of the nightmare staying away from home usually is. Also didn't see any other guests but probably just got lucky on that one. There were some people singing at night but it wasn't bad like not drunken singing or whatever more like at a church or something. Pretty okay actually. Didn't mind it at all.

Anyway overall such a good peaceful relaxing calm experience and so different from most places where the staff are constantly asking if I need anything or trying to help and making me break into cold sweats and panic. Even check out I just dropped off the key and that was that. Would definitely stay again and if it was a franchise or something I would always stay at this kind of place!

Contrarian passed, Lucian’s turn

Lucian passed too so it’s MxKit’s turn


Mine'll be coming up shortly!



Hi! If you want to join in, please review the intro and read everyone's posts so you're caught up! If you want to play, after MxKit's turn you can go!


Wonderful Service

By user: PoppysMic

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

The motel is in a beautiful area, and is itself very clean and nice, which would have earned it three or four stars even if the staff hadn't impressed me so much! But they were incredible. The shower wouldn't run hot at first, but as soon as I called they sent someone to fix it, and everything worked like a dream after that. I didn't try room service but the service at the hotel restaurant was friendly and quick. At night they played this soothing choral music over the sound system, from about... I want to say 10pm onward (I'm not sure when it stopped but when I woke up at 7:30am it wasn't playing anymore), which was quiet and muffled enough to be soothing instead of keeping me awake. And the pool actually had a lifeguard, which I haven't seen at any other motels this price! She was incredibly attentive. Though I saw some other reviews mention the pool being open all through the night, but when I tried to go for a late-night swim the gate was locked? Maybe they changed their policy after receiving complaints.

The only complaints that I could possibly have were my problems with the shower (promptly fixed), it being surprisingly humid in my room (which I'm loathe to actually blame on the hotel; it's a humid city!), and an odd experience when I was packing my bags into my car at the end of my stay. The bellhop tried handing me a soaking wet pair of flip-flops! He insisted that they were mine, and that he had seen me drop them, both of which definitely can't have been true. He was obviously confused but very insistent (I suppose he'd been trained to make sure guests didn't leave anything personal behind, so I couldn't be too irritated), and I had to eventually give in and take them with me; I pulled over about five minutes later to throw them away at the nearest gas station.

Still, these are all very minor complaints. All in all it was a wonderful stay, not only a great location but wonderful service, especially for the price. Check this place out if you can!



by user: Hardly

★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

I can’t say I get the glowing reviews this place has received or even the profoundly negative ones. My stay was thoroughly mediocre in every sense. The staff seemed confused when I said I wanted to stay and it took much longer than it should have to get my room, but once I was there the room was fine if not great. The bed was about what you’d expect, the singing was ok, and the pool was just a little too cold for this time of year. All-in-all nothing stood out as particularly good or bad and I can’t really recommend this hotel, but if you have to stay somewhere, you could do worse.

BJK its' your turn! Let me know if you want to pass


Whoops, so it is. I'll get right on it!

(1 edit) (+2)


by user: .|/|.[\].

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

this motel lives up to its reputation but is not on the level of similar establishments. it is not up to the standard of the twilight lodge or even the good living inn in my opinion. i would place it slightly above the red hostel but i may be personally biased on that matter.

i have some tips if you are staying here. the pool and associated activities are excellent. the best that this place has to offer. staff are reflective so bring what you intend to take. amenities are good quality but the prices are a little high. if you wish to eat then it may be wise to bring your own. do not trust the clocks. if you are of a sensitive nature then earplugs might be useful.

overall i would recommend the eternal panorama motel. good travels. good seeking.


How many people are still playing?


I'm still in! I think it's really good. If people are dropping out, maybe open it up to anyone who wants to contribute a review?

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