Really appreciate it!
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Thanks! I hoped that it would get people to leave with these sorts of questions. What's the relationship between us and the characters we create for ourselves? How much of them is a part of us and how much of them is disposable?
Yeah I've updated it. If a player selects a nonbinary character, they will get a crash at a certain point. Nobody has yet found this bug (I was able to deduce its existence from a player whose character was misgendered) luckily, but I wanted to fix it ASAP.
I can see how that would be misleading -- mgs5's character creator is only for the online portion sadly. At least in CitF you're the one who's gotta take the plunge to kill your character!
Oh no, that bug means there's still a game-breaking bug hidden in there somewhere! If your character was nonbinary it would've crashed. Damn!
(I have fixed this bug now!)
Glad you enjoyed, and no worries as the twist isn't a big secret! The twist is more about the nature of Pallas than about the fact that character creation is the whole game, ha ha. :)
I had a similar issue -- completed my game well within the four hours mark, but each time I compiled it, the error remained. Turns out I was saving a previous version instead of the updated version. Fixing that took me over the four hour limit, but for all intents and purposes the game was 100% complete within time! :)
I enjoyed this a lot! It looks and feels good to play in the way it is presented. I would have expected, given its simplicity, that there would be some representation of the battleship board itself, rather than selecting from a list of pure text, but I understand the limitations of putting a game together in only four hours.
I liked Death and I wished there were more options to show respect to him rather than challenge him.
I did win the game, and I loved the message at the end where the character manages to give death itself pause to reflect.
Great little game, well done! I achieved every achievement over four runs. I liked the stress of the diminishing candle, the hints at greater forces at play, the references to Wizard of Oz (I assume), and the spitefulness of the trickster god.
The language throughout dances and dazzles.
I think it's too easy to win -- on my second run I searched through the rubble, angered the river goddess, and picked a flower, but still had enough time to defeat the spirit.
I think the two bits that jumped out to me were getting caught up with "stained glass windows" (about 40:45 in) and the lunging animatronics description (about 47:45 in). You seemed quite focused on word choice when I think a more broad-stroke approach would've been more fair! :)
Watched it all the way through! I found myself mostly agreeing with your assessments, and you did a good job in talking about both what you liked and what were speedbumps. I did think you were a bit harsh with criticising the word choice in a few places when a more broad-stroke approach would've been more fair.
I've played through the whole game. The level of detail and the quality of writing remains incredible throughout and really ramps up in the final years of the war. I spent more time in year 10 than the other 9 years combined (or so it felt). Anyone who stops after year 1 is really missing out, ha ha! There were a few bugs (the artist would return an error after the first time, and many of the "where are they now" descriptions just didn't appear) but they were drowned out by the sheer quantity and quality of work. Your intention -- to create the sense of weariness and nihilism of a general of an endless war, making mistakes and building regrets that we have to just push on through to bring this pointless war to a merciful end -- was absolutely fulfilled.
Speaking of the "where are they now descriptions" -- man can I APPRECIATE a lengthy and detailed epilogue, especially after such a lengthy and detailed game depicting such a lengthy and detailed war. There was a real sense of closure.
I have some criticisms, but I'd like to prepend them with the statement that this is my favourite game out of the whole jam. It's the best written, the most fun to play through, and certainly the one that demonstrates its author's historical and mythological knowledge the most. As for ways I think it could improve: Give us a "stats page" where we can see a summary of each of the key players! I had no idea who 70% of the characters were. I knew Menelaos, Achilles, Patroclus, Odysseus (my favourite), Hector, Alexander, and Helen, but the rest were new to me. You give them a summary at the beginning, but there are just too many to remember.
By how you've set out the game, I think switching to a different system like choicescript (perfectly fits your format and also includes a handy stats page) or a visual novel system like Ren'Py (as I think it would really benefit from extra visuals and some of the QOL features of a VN framework) might help the game achieve its best form. Then again, Twine can probably do all of that with the right macros and bootstrapping and whatnot. I think you've got something really special here that deserves to be the best it can be.
I unmuted on a whim on my playthrough and was pleasantly surprised that a human was reading certain parts. Like you said, the reader for the poems was excellent. I think you've done a disservice pasting a robot reader onto the majority of the game -- the voice is so slow and so obnoxious and so inhuman that the only choice a player has is to mute the game.
Hey, this is a really great start! I like the nicknames Lillya and Valria use for each other. The simple choice to lie or tell the truth is a great narrative device. I feel there isn't much incentive to lie because the truth option is really sweet!!
Some grammar/spelling stuff I noticed:
(hit "view rest")
"haven't ate" should be "haven't eaten"
"Chloe, what needs to be done with the ship? --> missing an end quote.
"matenance" should be "maintenance". Also, coding-wise, clicking any one of the tasks completes all four tasks -- unsure if intentional.
Best way to distinguish thoughts from spoken words is not to use quotes for thoughts, but this is a style recommendation and not prescriptive.
Similar style recommendation: Using nametags in the dialogue between Valria and Chloe suggests initially that they are messaging each other, as it's very close to how you've shown the messages between Valria and Lillya. I'd just use conventional paragraph structure for Valria and Chloe, i.e. drop the nametags.