I agree with everyone else: this scenario is broadly well-organized and has an interesting set-up. The non-lethal rivalries provides space for more characterful and interesting interactions with the other crews, which combined with the uniting pressure from the Detective Kent, should make for some interesting emergent play.

However, don’t know how to feel about the twist being discoverable before the mission even begins. I feel that discovery could defeat the purpose of the twist overall, but I appreciate it’s technically not a complete surprise. Although you only had 15 words to spare, I think elaborating on that possibility or cutting it would’ve been best.

I’d like to see the various rivals fleshed out more. Specifically listing and organizing common behaviors/tactics would be helpful. The list of events almost performs that task, but having more explicit and systemic characteristics would help the rival crews feel more defined and present in the scenario.

Overall: I really like this scenario’s premise and organization, and I just wish the early reveal of the twist and the rivals were more fleshed out. Although you’re near the word limit, so fleshing things out might not have been worth cutting other things.

Very clear and nicely put together.  It's really inviting to both read and play with an interesting NPC and locations with a lovely set of 'rival crews'.

I like the no killing aspect of the adventure, it makes for a much more interesting set of interactions that can happen. I think a some more detail would help a lot, especially in the events, I feel like the adventure leaves a little too much up to the GM. I think the different mercenary factions are well thought out and diverse. Nice work!

"No killing the competition" was interesting for that premise. I like the notes about possible consequences at the end of mission too. That's an interesting adventure that I might adapt for my group someday.

I think some things I might have appreciated are some examples of how the factions might interact, and some potential outcomes of scenarios. The fact that it's system agnostic leaves a lot up to the GM!