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Hello all,

Thank you to everyone who contributed a project to the bundle, almost $17K raised! I think I’m going to try to make this a yearly thing so stay tuned. Thank you all again, Free Palestine!

Scott “Molgannard” Garriott 

Hello all,

Thank you again everyone for contributing to this awesome bundle! We're more than 20% toward our goal of $50K raised! I'm gonna try to push on my, admittedly small, social media this last week, and I would appreciate if y'all could do some boosting as well. 

Thanks again everyone!

Scott "Molgannard" Garriott

yes that’s true, thanks!

Hello all,

Thank you once again for joining the bundle! There are 28 people who need to approve their games for the bundle, if this is you do this ASAP. Thank you

Molgannard

Thematic, interesting, useful, and very cool! I love that the camel can kick (owner) or kick (everyone all the time), Hilarious. 

I am working on the bundle, I will let everyone know when it is coming up.

Thanks for the review! I appreciate the kind words!

I love this entry! So much information and such a detailed adventure for such a short pamphlet. Very concise for newer wardens. Excellent layout and design. The only feedback I really have is the panel with the bugs in the background was a little distracting. Other than that really love the concept and the execution. Great Job!

And have you ever read Earth X, the marvel graphic novel? There is a concept in it that is similar to the concept of the conscious statues in your adventure, and it is a pretty horrific concept. 

Excellent entry! I really love the layout, it is super clear and concise and seems like it would be extremely easy to run. I love the themes and the antagonist, very creepy and also very visual. Great mechanics with the radiation weakness. 

The only real criticism I have is that it could really use a "What is really going on" section that just lays out the situation clearly for the Warden. It is relatively easy to get the jist of it with the We section, I was just kind of confused while reading and had to go back to a couple sections occasionally. 

Other than that a great entry that I would definitely run. Great Job!

Also a rusty ship named Shackleford, Ha. 

Thank you for the kind words! I'm glad that people laughed at some of the jokes I put in the pamphlet. I think a few more clues on the worms physiology is a good idea. Thanks for the review!

Thank you so much for the kind words, I appreciate the thoughts on the design because that was exactly my thought process. I can see your point about the job being below a group of PCs pay grade, maybe just including that the spouse is some rich corpo and "wants it done right". I'd love to hear how it goes if you do end up playing it. Thanks! 

Great artwork and an interesting premise. Good job!

Hello!

Great job on the Pamphlet! I really like how creepy all of the encounters and monsters are, super evocative. I also really like how you tied it all into the theme of the jam. I think the polish could have been better but overall a great concept and good theming. Good job!
 

Hello!

First off I love the premise of this adventure and how it fits within the jam theme, it is all very creative and original. I love the monster and the overall aesthetics of the adventure. I also really like the art! I really like the brevity of the module though I think adding a few more details, especially in how the creature changes, maybe a small table of some examples, would have been nice. I also think adding a little more concrete mechanics would help new Wardens especially. In that vein I also think adding a key to the map would be a good help for newer people. And lastly I think the combat stats on the monster and the guards is too high, and the number of guards, while realistic, I think would make it extremely hard for the adventure not to end in a TPK. Other than a few small tweaks and an editing pass I think this is an awesome adventure and one of my favorites that I've read. Great job!

Yeah I agree, I was actually about to switch the employees into a table but ran out of time. And I guess I was kind of going for kinda a hive mind vibe for the worms but I think I agree that some interesting social dynamics within the worms would be a good addition. I appreciate the feedback!

Thanks for the kind comments! Definitely I agree that the visuals and overall polish was not up to my usual standard, I ran out of time towards the end. Any more feedback or tips is welcome. Thanks again! 

Hello! First off I love the vibes of the pamphlet, it looks fantastic, it has a great sense of humor and it seems like it would be pretty easy to sit down and play. Great job! 

The only real critiques I have are;

1. I think while the statblocks have great info on the characters I think a little more could have been added mechanically, especially a combat score and damage they deal. 

2. The theme of "under the surface" was a little lacking, other than the adventure taking place at a sea-world equivalent. 

3. While I love the flavor of the introduction being in universe I think the adventure could have used a little more setup information. How long has it been since the creature got loose, what exactly the PCs are doing here, maybe a little more background on the station itself.

Other than those small critiques I think this is a great adventure and one I'm definitely interested in running. Great job!
 

Thanks for the kind words, I would love some feedback!

I totally agree on the polish, I ran out of time to get it to the level of consistency that I would have liked. Thanks for the feedback!

I appreciate the feedback! The polish was definitely not where I would like it, I was super down to the wire on this one. The paper texture background is a great call. I was going to change the employee stat blocks to a table but ran out of time, but I think a little more on their personalities could have been good. I agree that the patient table is a little cramped, I think it could also use some varying backgrounds to break it up some. In terms of the timeline I while I see your point that there could have been a slower buildup I guess I was just going with pushing the tempo, but I can see a more social adventure with the skin suits doing a better job of hiding things and giving some opportunities for some interactions with the doctor could have been good. I did originally have the doctor come out to get worm food or something I just liked the image of him having little holes all over his body and if he came out like that I'd be giving the game away. Something to think about. 
Thanks again for the excellent feedback!
 

Hello Unfathomable team,
Having read through this adventure I have to say that the scope and breadth that you put into one pamphlet is impressive. It seems like this could be a 3-5 session adventure and all contained in a pamphlet is amazing. And just finishing an impressive pamphlet like this is a feat in itself so congrats on that. 

Here are the ratings and explanations that I had for each one:

Polish: 4/5

I really like the overall look of the module and it is clear that a lot of time and effort went into the layout and design because there is so much but you were able to fit everything in, and it is all for the most part very legible. I really like the cover image, it does a great job of foreshadowing the insanity of the adventure. It is a very dense adventure and I found my attention sliding off of it at times, there are also a few inconsistencies in the locations; for medusa there are little sidebars that give a little overview of the location but it doesn't seem like the other two have this style. I would have also liked some more description on some of the enemies, especially the Ephyra, I'm guessing they're some kind of bug people made by the Gorgon's Head, but it is definitely not clear. Overall very nice looking but some inconsistent writing. 

Favorability: 2/5

As this is the most subjective category this is just my personal taste. I found many parts of the adventure to be under-explained and overly complicated. I like how crazy it can get but I could not see myself running this personally. I also find depth crawls to not personally be my favorite way to play an adventure. All of the scenes, locations, and events are interesting but not as fleshed out as I would like for my table, and some of them are so conceptual that it seems hard to explain them to my players in a way that would be actionable in game. So overall this is just not my favorite kind of adventure but I find it all very creative and interesting. 

Usibility: 1/5

Unfortunately as I have previously stated this adventure seems like a beast to run. The mechanics for the depth crawl are not very well explained and I found myself having to go back and re-read sections 3-4 times to finally understand how to run it, and there were still parts that are confusing for me. For example when does a warden roll for an encounter and when do they roll for an event. It seems like these two tables can be interchangeable at time. Also there are no instructions, other than at a few locations, to roll an event, and on the event table there is an option that says roll an encounter. So it feels a little confused how exactly a warden rolls up a location/encounter/details. There also doesn't seem to be much guidance for the PCs. It was only after reading the entire adventure did I realize that the PCs can assault the Gorgon's Head at any time and that going into the different locations and destroying the pylon in each one just makes the Gorgon weaker. It is unclear how the PCs are supposed to know to do anything that the adventure wants. It also seems to me somewhat unwieldy with all of the different events and encounters but also the different factions and secret agendas, another thing that is somewhat unclear. Overall while I admire the scope and scale of this project it would definitely take some doing by the warden to get this adventure on the table. 

Theme: 2/5

I like that the ziggurat and Gorgon's Head is beneath the sands in a desert and that it is uncovered in an asteroid impact, and the way the adventure itself is a depth crawl so you are going down below the surface. Other than those two factors though I didn't really see much more playing off the theme of "Just Below the Surface". Maybe if the adventure had been a little more focused, like with one depth crawl instead of three, the theme could have been explored more. 

Overall I think this is an ambitious and great looking pamphlet that maybe fumbles the execution in some places, but I'm excited to see what else this team puts out.

Great Job!

Hey, I just submitted it to TKG. Thanks!

Indeed, fun times were had by all! 

Thank you for the kind words Chris!

Thank you for the kind words! I'm glad you enjoyed the adventure and it's great to know that it helped someone get into Mothership!

Lol, that's pretty good.

I like the character of Dhouki, and it is an interesting set up for an adventure. I understand the player is going to be playing a specific character but in some parts, especially in part 2, it seems like you laid out exactly what the player should be doing. I like the star map and it is a very robust adventure, I could see it taking 3-4 sessions to complete. Nice work!

Thanks! People wanting to read/run it is all I could ask for. Thanks for the review!

Interesting design, very robust for such few words. I like the random encounters and the procedural aspect of the game lends. Some of the fonts are a little harsh, the font for the second page top left particularly. It was a little daunting reading it the first time, a lot of mechanics and proper names. But after reading the whole thing and going back to the more confusing parts I think it makes much more sense. I think it is a creative, robust take on the prompt and I would be interested in running it. It is also nice that it is repayable with the two objectives. Good job!

Very cool take on the prompt, the players literally can't remember who is after them. I also like the flashback mechanic. I think an editing pass would have been helpful. A nicely thought out story though and interesting characters. I also really like the names for the areas in the station.

I like the no killing aspect of the adventure, it makes for a much more interesting set of interactions that can happen. I think a some more detail would help a lot, especially in the events, I feel like the adventure leaves a little too much up to the GM. I think the different mercenary factions are well thought out and diverse. Nice work!

Nice moral dilemma with the infected dog, no one wants to hurt a dog.

I agree with Staggered Amusement. Nicely laid out, simple and robust procedures, easily runable, but some more description of the space beast or the other creatures would have been appreciated. Good work! 

I like it! The mechanics for the dog are great and it seems like a easy to run, fun little adventure. Nice work!

Really good thematic little adventure. Had me chuckling the entire time I was reading it. I'm excited to run this and it seems like it would be pretty easy/quick. I think that it could have used a little more sci-fi stuff, but I seriously love all the aesthetics! Got some real good Office Space vibes. Excellent work!

Thanks! Yeah that is def what I was going for. I'm glad the horrible flat pastel art is recognizable. Thanks for checking it out!

That's awesome to hear! I'm glad to hear it was as chaotic as I hoped it would be when I was designing it. Thanks for checking it out!

Thanks!