Thank you for playing! Yea, text games like that can feel outdated, but sometimes it is a stylistic niche. I myself go that route because it’s super quick and also an only thing I can do for now that’s browser-friendly.
would like to apologize for flying off the handle like that. I had literally spent 6 hours
No problem, I am sorta used to it partially because I am temperamental myself, so I run in to conflicts I could avoid regardless of which side is wrong (if any). I also have experience preparing blog posts/youtube reviews etc, so I understand, it takes a ton of time.
There is a reason it reads like Ai
Yea, after talking to you I understood it never crossed my mind what text Ai is trained on. With art it is pretty easy to figure it out, especially it was at first with notable artists having their style stolen, but with writing it just felt like “Ai style”.
I also was a teacher
That makes sense in regards to your writing style and the way you give feedback. I’ve been in multiple jams by now, your style stands out also because jams are competitive and your feedback feels “standalone”, more like a beta test/reader feedback or something.
I guess what struck me as “ai” was specific comments that didn’t make sense to me. It makes sense to discuss it in educational setting, but jams are more of a competitive nature so the feedback I am used to is very different.
You probably have a very habitual way of reviewing games by now, it does read like youtube review. I haven’t figured how to have this stream of consciousness on while doing a Live stream, but it makes sense you’d think in this manner in Live because of you’ve already done it too many times. My notes are super different when I prepare stuff like that, I am more paying attention to what doesn’t work (it’s not that i like to criticize, I just have the usability design too ingrained in my head, so my main objective ends up looking for bugs etc).
What stood out to me:
I appreciated the stories respect for the player in allowing a seamless movement backward and forward
given the genre, it is a basic mechanic. Since you had a gaming channel, it stood out to me as odd, because I got feedback about such stuff before primarily from newbie devs that do not know Interactive fiction is games genre.
theatre of the mind
it repeats multiple times. I’m not a native speaker, so it stood out to me as somewhat confusing. I read a lot in English for decades, but I don’t recall seeing it in text, though I don’t read plays or listen to radio fiction, so perhaps that’s why it is unfamiliar.
Now the reply to your review(if you wanna read haha, i also don’t see the original anymore so i reply to the draft):
Theme: i did this game originally for a different jam, but the theme here was similar to the game. Depending on the ending though, just one more day is a literal thing, the bad outcome is simply postponed, not avoided.
I appreciate your feedback, I found few moments especially useful even back when I thought it was Ai:
if we choose the complete lack of visuals, we need more descriptive text
Yea, makes sense haha. I don’t treat jams as serious work (partially because I can’t yet, I am recovering perfectionist), so I don’t do much editing & all the games right now are prototypes. I kind of avoid getting deep in the prototype stage because I end up solidifying some unnecessary things as canon to the plot and cannot let go of it when needed.
Utilizing an engine turning over sound when the car fires up, the gentle chiming of a clock when you look at it, or the subtle purr of a cat that’s getting scratches.
That was very “visual”, good ideas, thank you.
We end up with more questions than answers
This is a very small bit of a massive project, so there’s a bunch of stuff being hinted at. It’s related to my Magnum Opus, so perhaps in a not so distant future you’ll recognize this story in some game trailer on Steam (one can dream..). Since it is not a standalone, using visuals was also somewhat risky, like I intentionally avoided names, because it has some major spoilers and I have been posting aobut his project in my art etc, I don’t want certain characters to be connected to one another. I was supposed to work on something else for the jam I did this game for, but I got the idea for mom’s POV, so I ended up with this. I had no concrete plan and cutting it short both in text and visuals was my way to not overthink it and worry if I gave up too much.
In any case, I’m glad we could smooth it out (I guess?). It was a good lesson for me to not assume and get defensive, even if I do get Ai response in the future. And also thank you for taking your time to both have this back and forth with me and the initial review. I’m sorry it hurt you when you did so much hard work, I understand how it feels, not something I’d want to impose on others.
Now that I know it isn’t Ai, I’m sorry. I never wanted to be on the accusatory end and I never thought I’d be unable to distinguish Ai versus human. I checked your other posts and channel, so my message was based on multiple reviews you made, not just a reply to me.
That wasn’t because of emoji or rubric, but the style of writing itself. Ai writes similar to how people write school essays to hit the word mark. I know my game and your review didn’t read genuine, it reads like trying to hit a word mark or a blog post you get paid per word. Ai writes exactly like that compared to how a real person would write a quick opinion on a 3 minute game, therefore the style is very similar to Ai. I used chat-GPT myself and because of this I was even more convinced I recognize the style.
All that work and effort, and that’s how you respond?
That what i felt when i read an Ai review. I would be ok with people not playing, but Ai felt like going extra mile avoiding real communication to me.
Kindly never darken my doorstep again.
Again, now that I see a comment that reads like a real person, I apologize for my accusation. But given all the reviews you’ve written, I am 100% sure I’m not the only person who thought it was written by Ai, they just didn’t mind enough to ask. This is something you should consider further, because you’re going to run into this accusation again due to your writing style. It is sad and as an artist I’ve seen similar situations, but it is the modern issue with Ai that any creative can run into, including me. If i was accused I would also be offended, of course.
Even if it wasn’t Ai, your review reads as a paid blog post, not a jam game player comment. I am thankful for your effort to give a detailed review and again I’m sorry that I didn’t make you feel valued. I said my honest opinion because I also expected an honest opinion and I felt like I didn’t get it. It was immature on my part to jump to conclusions, but I’m sure even you can see how your reviews can be mistaken for Ai.
Seriously, an Ai review? If i wanted ai input, I would ask it myself.
Despite what you intended, this feels low effort compared to one line comments that aren’t as eloquent. If you use Ai so heavily that you write comments with it, mention it in your jam description.
Thank you for checking it out! Yea, understandable haha!
I do quick prototypes this way. My interest lies in cinematic 3d, and most of my text based games are just rough test drive to figure out what to visualise in environment/gameplay and what to leave as text/dialogue.
You skipped a bit though. Clock - each unique time it’s mentioned is different story part.
Pet related, they never had pets at home, there was a neighbor cat to play with. Due to mental issues of the younger child, taking care of a pet would be extra headache. Pets are supposedly good as therapy animals, hence why she wondered about having them, aside just liking cats. English isn’t my native language, so I guess I worded it weird haha.
The idea is for a 3d game intro, so that POV would be a chapter to show basic interactions in the town and the house. Cat was just a “pet the dog” bonus for 3d version, but also worked as explaining a bit situation at home.
The difference in endings is on the slide “who drives the car?”, where you picked “stay home”. You can use arrows on left to go back to previous slides, no need to play all game from the start.
But basically, theme wise, good ending is just a consolation bonus (not canon, and “what if” ending): she cannot avoid what happens, the difference is only when/how it happens.
Thank you for playing, the video was very helpful for me :)
The story is short because I tend to take a tiny bit of a bigger plot and use it for jams. I do make a lot of interactive fiction, because it is the fastest way for me to make a game right now & because I want to participate in more jams than I realistically can lol. My goal is to make cinematic 3D games (mystery, survival, horror etc).
If you got interested in this story, it is a premise to something I will work on ~next year.
Thank you for checking it out! Glad you enjoyed :)
Tbh I’m not a fan of the genre either, I use it for rapid prototyping and to figure out where to fit game mechanics, if the story lacks obvious action. I do enjoy comics though.
Sorry for the late reply, i missed some notifications.
Yea, I used to have very vivid dreams growing up, now it is only occasionally. Many of my ideas started with elaborate dreams that were good “pitches” but in a few cases I saw almost full plots. You can induce vivid dreams if you want using supplements like lion’s maine(edible mushroom, nootropic used for brain health).
I do not have any finished projects as of yet. All the stuff I have planned/worked on is mostly in the app I use for writing. My gamedev journey was concentrated on 3D, my full stories are a bit too complex( novel length usually) to realize in full projects right now due to my skill level. This month I hope to finish the first full prototype for Chrystal, because the story is short and relatively simple.
Carry On is kind of an intro to the plot (think first 5 minutes of a movie). The overall idea will revolve around being an astronaut in an ongoing journey knowing what is revealed in the jam version and having moral dilemmas related to how to deal with it. Sort of like Among Us, where you can be on either side of the “conflict”.
I wasn’t originally planning to do text adventures and visual novels, but I see now it fits nicely with many stories I have in drafts, so I’ll keep making similar prototypes. If you’ll follow my itch.io profile, you’ll get notified by the system.
Haha thanks! I like story-rich games and have complex plots, so working with Twine engine helps to plan, especially if you have multiple endings like a visual novel (from other genres, Baldur’s Gate 3 is the example of needed writing).
I am experienced writer and this project is based on my other bigger project, so it was a relatively quick to do.
Yea, placeholders were more for me and also to make people interested in the game’s future. Later I kind of forgot about adjusting them.
I’m going to finish first draft before July, I have a rough idea what happens next, it will be 2-3 more chapters. You do raise a good point here, because those projects are in a horror setting, but the story isn’t as grim right now as it can go & depending on the choices it can be sort of wholesome even.
It is based on a dream I had, was kind of a nightmare, and I rarely call my dreams nightmares. The tunnel was very narrow and you’d have to crawl by lying fully on the floor (it made no sense on the wake up & for the jam game why the character would even try to go there because the tunnel was a death trap). When I was doing 3D version, it was too complex to implement asap & explain why anyone in their right mind even drunk would attempt it, and in text it went a bit different direction. If I figure a plausible explanation, I want to still do it as in the dream for 3D version.
Do you have an ambient track there? maybe it’s just how the background music sounds.
If I recall correctly, there was some noise like error noise, when I was getting too close to the walls.
Camera control - no problem, I struggle with this myself, collision is tricky. In Unreal engine 5.6 there are upcoming new templates, maybe they made it work by default there.
Your not-dev did a good jab haha
For jam it looks fine to me, if you want specifically glass there are glass textures hidden in some freebies. I use this pack but it is not professional license free nowadays, it used to be a monthly freebie
You’re welcome! Do you plan to work on this game further?
If you like racing games, I’d suggest to check out the oldie FlatOut (a series of games, I played 2nd, the soundtrack is amazing). Your game reminded me of it, because in there the part of the fun is destroying the car. Whole series is for the few days on discount for 8$ on steam btw
maybe your account notifications are off or just itch.io having issues. It looks like the notifications page has a limit, so maybe you got too many replies
It’s all in the video, just an NPC. I used it only for the jam, the character is supposed to have a different design (my original idea is 3D that looks like PS2 game, I planned to make models in Blender 3D). In the video I just replaced idle animation so that he’d read a book. I have a rough explanation here, if you mean you want to know how it is done
My game has 2 ending and i feel like you played the good one..
In case it wasn’t clear how my entry is relevant: the character is physically transformed into a blob of flesh after going through a special tunnel to the secret laboratory. She us turned into a literal ball with an eye.
I plan to do both 2d and 3d versions, because 2d is a good way to “prep” for 3d (for me at least). 3d doesn’t involve this much writing, while in 2d you are forced to think about locations more carefully etc. And it is very helpful to troubleshoot multiple endings I want in my 3d version as well.
I guess I’m skipping sound a lot because ideally I want to write my own tracks, but in practice I don’t have time or forget to put a placeholder lol. It will be added in next update for the text version.
i have the original 3D project here, after reading the story you can sort of imagine what gameplay would be like based on those 2 prototypes.
Haha no worries, it’s just that “Hey man/brother” clearly reads as gendered, compared to dude, or even bro (those often used in neutral way as a slang). It isn’t a big deal, I just feel I gotta clarify if the topic arises, or I feel like I’m lying or something lol
I made a note on the updates: here
Overall, for 3d version I’m waiting for UE5.6 to drop first. Before it drops I’m working with the visual novel version.
Plot only should be ready by July because of another jam it fits for; and a very basic visual novel demo(already with my own art, not the way it looks now) ideally in September. It highly depends on how much plot will develop this month. Sometimes when writing, characters end up directing me not where I planned to go story wise.
But in all truth, I may get sidetracked by other projects and jams more than I expect. In any case, this game is in my to-do list, as one of the projects I want to build soon for Steam release.
Thank you for your interest. I’ll keep tabs on your project as well.
Nice platformer, very old school, would be perfect for a handheld console. I like the jumping animation, there’s a little slow down there which helps in the gameplay.
Nice game, I love the “animal pov”. Teeny Raid is another game like yours, also rat and food stealing.
The rat animations are very realistic, so cute! What a great model you’ve found. Cat’s idle animation was also adorable.
The game has a lot of stuff to build on further, if you plan to do so, some moments/bugs to note:
cannot skip cutscenes, the also do not look like cutscenes at first.
rat loses animation after being stomped for some time, or when it’s on the mat next to a door and due to some other objects.
*I fell out of bounds through the floor between the houses.
i guess i run out of time, i was in the kitchen and then instructions screen popped up and there was no way to close it.
