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we’re working on preparing so we can accept submissions for the next issue. Will let you know when we go live with it. 

Please do. I'd love to hear how they go for you.

One has been uploaded for you.

thank you very much. I hope you enjoy it. 

This was so well done, but I wish I could have seen what you would have done with the other 2 inspirations too. 

I could see that. The adventure has some great bones, it’s why I mostly focused on the layout. improvements in that area will Mae this adventure sing. I really like the underlying guts. It’s a lot of fun. 

Interesting use of Cold as a replacement for a torch timer.  And effective use of the NES Module size.  Unfortunately the size format really left me wanting more.  

This adventure has a lot of interesting elements in it. You definitely had a lot of ideas and brought them to this adventure with all the items, monsters, NPCs, etc.  Layout really hinders this though as you have stat blocks and descriptions spreading across columns & pages which makes it difficult to use at the table. You have all these NPC stat blocks, but they don't list any of the most important information about them in their blocks (goals/secrets/wants). You've made the Bratyas the villains and explained their bad deeds, but not really what they are attempting to do. I can assume it's to get the treasure, but this is one of those details that helps the GM understand your vision of the adventure you are writing for them to run. They sought your adventure afterall, don't be afraid to express "this is how you should run it," within reason. 

Also a little clarity on the organization of your room keys would help to break up the wall of text and remove all of this bolding. There's a point where it starts to blend together because there's so much on the page. 

Oh, it's a football gauntlet. You gotta run through them with the ball or be crushed by the stones in the floor as they contract upon you. I'm going to change it after the competition to a basic crushing wall or ceiling drop trap, I think. I just needed to work the football game in and that was one of the ways I managed it. 

With how succinct the writing was, the vibes feel a little muted. I don't know that I would have described those 3 games as straight combat. You have 2 platformers which are frequently filled with hazards, obstacles, traps, & treasure. From collapsing platforms & climbing walls to gap clears & falling objects, you have lots of variety you could add to each castle to create opportunities for interaction & exploration within the dungeon. I think there's a lot here to build upon, but it lacked a lot of the things that make Shadowdark different from other systems.

There isn't a trap in 2?

This is a very interesting & fun concept. I think a little example of play may help show people exactly how you envision this working in the middle of an adventure.

Very sparsely written. Also a little repetitive with every castle being combat upon combat. I can see the germ of the ideas, but they need to bloom a little more. The death/extra lives mechanic is pretty good, but characters don't die immediately with death saves, so this might be better suited to a Gauntlet mechanic rather than a level 1 adventure. Unless you're building around a specific hardcore mode where 0 = death. 

Take it.

Hooks: Excellent use of a training/teaching mechanic as a possible hook. Haven't seen anyone else do that yet. Disappointed the promise of authentic OYC Cheese Pizza wasn't a hook though. Oh wait... maybe it wouldn't be a pizza but a Short Island Coney Dog. So much flavor in this adventure. Like riding shields, triangular flat bread, etc. I think this adventure seems like it is probably a lower level adventure compared to a level 4-6 adventure. Cleaning up some of the layout would definitely make this a little easier to run at the table. I also wish you made better use of the other inspiration titles, but you live by the TMNT reference, you die by the TMNT reference, heh. Aside from these minor quibbles, this is a solid entry. Great work!

Thank you. Some times things just work out and the story finds you and spend hours binging vampire movies.

Thank you. It was very important to me they stayed. I wanted to have  GM be able to run this as minimal-prep as possible. Could probably use a few more pages to let it breathe, but I'll consider that after this whole thing is over. 

I adore this so much. Lots of creativity. A solid adventure that gives the GM nearly everything they need to run it out of the box. A little TLC to the formatting and this baby will sing.

You should reference the rules you are using when you change them. Especially when there are 2 sets of overland travel rules. One in the core book & one in the new material from the Western Reaches. The navigation rules do not set a DC which is why they are being expanded upon in Western Reaches, because it's unclear how it works in the core book. It doesn't account for the weather, familiarity, nothing. The DC check for it would be based on the standard 9, 12, 15, 18, 20. These checks are based on a natural 1d20 roll. You modified the roll, but not the DC after describing it as an "inscrutable labyrinth" that "proves... difficult." The question I'm raising is how difficult is it? Is it Easy on a sunny day? Is it Hard? How does the rain affect it? Does this change with the new rules? A little clarity would go a long way to making it more usable. If there had been standard DCs elsewhere, it would have been easier to determine what you think the environment difficulty for your adventure was.

I wish this was finished so bad. There are so many good ideas floating through this that just needed that little bit of extra time to finish, because you need a map. But the tarot card idea is so thematically on point. The magic items are interesting. You gave the factions WANTS. 

I think it would help to explain there's no set Navigation DC and that the GM should use some best practices for how to make that determination.

I find it weird, that you can collapse a bridge in Room 2, harming everyone in Room 11 which includes the Queen we are attempting to rescue. But she has no stat block so I don't know if she's dead or not. And if the flame monsters struggle to move when surrounded by ice and the entire keep is made of ice, how do they move? How do they retreat deeper into the place? 
So many nifty ideas that the players don't really need to engage in, if they use some rope and go down.

I think I'm missing something. I don't see the target DC to navigate. In the example, it says 18, but in tile 5 (the only other place I saw that listed one)  it says 15 and it's unclear if the GM how to make this determination. Also it feels weird that the smarter you are, the more likely you are to wrap over. Seems like that's counter-intuitive to the purpose. DCs are all over the place as well with very few using the standard DCs. It makes it harder to determine what I should be doing with the navigation since there's not a consistent target number. 

I can't really tell what your inspiration is since you didn't include the paragraph explaining it.  It's also a little unclear how you generate where the kobolds are or how you find them to stop them. It has so much cool elements that I could use in my game,  but aren't necessarily clear how to use in this game. 
I so want the next draft. These are some of the best random encounters I've read in the game jam so far. So much here to build upon and use. I want that next version. 

Cool premise. Starts strong. Some of the inconsistencies in the layout organization make it difficult to run as is. You definitely have to read and figure everything out before running. Lots of logical inconsistencies as well. Tables bolted down because of lack of gravity, but game sets can float about. Noisy kitchen, room next to it is completely silent somehow. Lots of combat, not as many puzzles or traps.  Inconsistent DCs throughout make it hard to determine what level is best for this adventure.

It's something I've been playing around with for a bit. Erik & I were talking about this in his reviews. I used to do them as a mini detail to describe the space. When I publish Things Possessed of Power, you'll see them being used that way. It's good for scene-setting, but I feel like this does a better job of preparing the GM by being explicit about what is in the room.

Same page stat blocks is one of those things I think OSE gets right. It's so much easier to run when the pertinent details are on the page when you need them.

It seems to be a popular idea in the OSR blogosphere. I saw omens from Goblin Punch's underclock & Tomb Robbers of the Crystal Frontier. When I was running using them, it just did so much more to create tension that I sort of felt I needed them for this little gothic tale. 

You know, it was originally there, but then I put in the art for the hole and had to remove some of that explanation of who Malory/Count was. So that's well noticed. Definitely could use like 4 more pages. 

Just as a forewarning, there is currently no entry to download to rate when rating opens this evening.

Thank you. Gotta use every inch available.

Thank you. Both of those things were some experiments I'm glad are going over well. 

Thank you muchly. I hope you get a chance to play it and let me know how it goes.

High praise. Thank you.

Thank you. Hopefully you run it and it is good fun & not just a girl in the red dress meme.

Thank you. Hopefully, others agree and find it fun to play as well.

Give it a shot. We had an enjoyable experience with it. 

I'm looking into how I could do a saddle stitch print for these shorter adventures, even if it means I need to buy a printer and do it myself. So... I'll figure it out soon I hope. I do have the series on Drive Thru in the interim. 

Next time.

That's great. Which of the surrounding jungle monsters did they encounter?