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(+1)

This adventure has a lot of interesting elements in it. You definitely had a lot of ideas and brought them to this adventure with all the items, monsters, NPCs, etc.  Layout really hinders this though as you have stat blocks and descriptions spreading across columns & pages which makes it difficult to use at the table. You have all these NPC stat blocks, but they don't list any of the most important information about them in their blocks (goals/secrets/wants). You've made the Bratyas the villains and explained their bad deeds, but not really what they are attempting to do. I can assume it's to get the treasure, but this is one of those details that helps the GM understand your vision of the adventure you are writing for them to run. They sought your adventure afterall, don't be afraid to express "this is how you should run it," within reason. 

Also a little clarity on the organization of your room keys would help to break up the wall of text and remove all of this bolding. There's a point where it starts to blend together because there's so much on the page. 

Those are some good points. With the layout thing, I tried to stave off the worst of it, but didn't have the time or page count to keep everything as neat and not broken-up in the end. But I can see how that may be rather inconvenient, yes. Thank you for the thoughtful review, those are some important things to look out for.

(1 edit) (+1)

I could see that. The adventure has some great bones, it’s why I mostly focused on the layout. improvements in that area will Mae this adventure sing. I really like the underlying guts. It’s a lot of fun.