itch.io

Love the framing of this as just the legacy/stories people tell about this Orc. A fun melding of 40k style ork lingo with the OPR lore as well. If there's one critique I have, it's that I wish there was a bit more description of the stakes of Bruntok's final battle. I want to know more!

Love the characterization here. Both POV characters come across as delightfully cocky in different ways. The perspective shift threw me off a bit, but really fun read overall!

Nice job with the characterization through dialogue alone. I'm impressed that you did it all without dialogue tags, but Chuck and the officer have different enough patterns of speech that it was always clear who was who.

Nice use of repetition and imagery. Reads almost poetically. And an absolutely snappy twist at the end!

Wonderful pacing. Love to see a pathetic wet cat of a POV character. Language is punchy through and through. Awesome job!

Excellent implementation of the theme! Pacing is also top-notch. Would not have expected to have a story about robots and battle brothers be one of my favorites so far. You could say... it was not part of the plan.

Love how lizardy the characters are, from the way their movement is described to their speech. Excellent names too.

Some awesome imagery in this piece! The second-to-last paragraph is an excellent setup... but also excellent suspense. Well written!