Chester's route is default. The only alternative is Darrell's route.
If you go to the "chapters" menu you can immediately jump to the route split junction.
Bowser's Rating: C+
Spoilers ahead!
Just a quick disclaimer, my grades mean absolutely nothing and I just want to share my thoughts about this piece. I just hope my insight can help foster growth for this team.
I enjoyed reading this VN! Another excellent example of a project that has a perfect scope for a game jam entry.
Here are some of the things I liked:
Here are some things I think could use improvement:
I hope you don't find my grading or feedback too harsh. For the most part, a little tender, love, would go a long way. I think a day's worth of work could easily elevate this piece to a "B". A more thoughtful main menu, addressing the narrative perspective issue with the presentation, choosing a stylish font, and an extra round or two of editing would do the trick. Going the extra mile to add more sprite expressions and a custom text box would likely earn you an "A-".
I think you all came together and made something great. Despite my complaints, I really enjoyed reading this story. The other folks who attended the live reading in Discord agree! This entry shows a lot of promise. I look forward to seeing what you all put out next, and don't be afraid to ask the community for help when you need it!
Bowser's Grade: B+
Spoilers ahead!
Just a quick disclaimer that my grades mean nothing and I just want to provide some feedback that will hopefully allow the creator to grow and learn.
This is a short one, but so wonderfully in-scope for a game jam! This is the kind of story that works incredibly well for a month-long project.
Here are some of the things I enjoyed:
Here are some areas of improvement:
Overall, it was a great pleasure to read this one. I think you show some great promise as a writer, artist, and developer. Keep making things! I very much look forward to your next project 💖.
Bowser's Grade: B
Spoilers ahead!
Just want to quickly state that my grades mean nothing and I just want to share my thoughts in the hopes it helps the creators grow.
Side note, I can't be unbiased since Brick is a friend and Martini and Jim have both helped me with Chord Progressions.
Let me start of by saying how thoroughly impressed I am that this piece has, not one, not two, but three custom songs that feature vocals. Getting all of that done within the span on a month must've been grueling work, but I'm thoroughly impressed with the results. As someone who spent several months writing, recording, and producing a custom song for his own VN, game recognizes game. Well done.
The presentation is fabulous in this piece as well. Custom UI, the title sequence, the various "leanback" sequences, and 100% illustrated backgrounds, *chefs kiss*. A lot of intention and effort went into the many aspects of the visual design and I'm here for it. Also quite enamoured with the CG's and sprite style. Roar and Jim did a wonderful job.
The visual designs for the characters are also through-the-roof. I love how each sprite has their own style, personality, and silhouette. I'm a big fan of their bold poses as well, not opting for the standard hand-on-hips and crossed arms variants. I think it paid off well.
I'm a big fan of the premise. As a rock and metal enjoyer myself, a period piece exploring the alternative music scene in Seattle during the 90's immediately got me really excited. I'm also glad to see that the subject matter of the story explored the good, bad, and ugly aspects of it. I especially think the ugly parts were handled well.
The sentence structure and word choice for the writing were a pleasure to read aloud. The character dialogue especially felt good to read. These characters each had their own unique voice that felt authentic to their personalities and backgrounds.
With the glazing out of the way, I want to review the bits I'm critical of:
There's other issues I had with the story structure, but I think I'll leave it there. Ultimately, I think this kind of story would have really benefited from the addition of several scenes and several thousand words if it weren't a game jam project. The more sensible solution would be better scope management and finding ways the make the story work better with fewer words. I think trying to cover several years worth of events in 12k words wasn't the best decision. I think if the narrative scope was homed in, the resulting piece would have been much better.
Despite my complaints, I enjoyed this entry! It was a pleasure to read and the folks who watched the stream agreed. I think you did a really good job, Brick. You worked really hard on this and that hard work shows. I'm looking forward to your future projects 💖
Bowser's Grade: A-
Spoiler's ahead!
My grade either means everything or nothing to Cetus. It depends on what kind of day he's having uwu.
For anyone else reading, just know I'm heavily biased since Cetus is a good friend, and I work with JimmytheFloof and Martini on my main project. That said, I'm trying my best to grade as fairly as I can.
I already talked with Cetus about most of my thoughts about his newest project, but I figure I'd outline them in writing for posterity.
The art style is gorgeous. Jasper's backgrounds are such a great compliment to Jim's sprites. Darlington is an eerie, but beautiful place. The art direction captures that perfectly.
Can't say I have very many notes on sound design. Martini does good work. What more can I say about a good boy who makes good music? 💖
The way the denizens were puppeted was fantastic. No notes for Wattson.
Moving on to why that "minus" isn't a "plus".
One thing I'm very proud of Cetus for is the improvement of his writing style going from Before You Depart to Nepenthes. A lot of the "amateur" writing pitfalls (overuse ellipses, distasteful use of all caps, overwriting, poor sentence structure, etc.) were virtually non-present in the final product. You've really come into your own style and it works very well. So proud of you 💖.
The last bit of praise I want to offer the story is this... I don't understand vore. I don't understand what makes it appealing to those who do enjoy it. I've had many people try to explain it to me, but it doesn't do much to help bridge the gap.
This story has done more to help me understand the appeal of vore more than any explanation ever could. It illustrates the power that storytelling has to help us understand each other, and I think that's an incredible thing. The fact that this piece has me contemplating the power of storytelling in general I think is a grand testament to how well crafted this story is.
Bowser's Grade: B
Just want to make clear my grades mean nothing and I just want to share my thoughts with the team to hopefully foster some creative growth.
My absolute favorite thing about this entry is the meta-narrative. The idea of finding a VHS tape of some random episode of a long-forgotten, Saturday-morning cartoon is delightful. It also serves as a brilliant way to manage the scope of the project for a game jam entry. Well done.
The characters are incredibly fun. They fit into their Saturday-morning cartoon archetypes very well while also giving a mature, furry audience exactly what they want. This echos true for the character writing and the visual character designs.
The music is immaculate. Everything's period appropriate while also being well-composed and well-produced. Can't tell you how wide I was smiling when I first heard that title track. That title screen has a lot of impact and leaves a great first impression. No notes on the music. Well done Dieselsaurus/ KOMODOMODE.
The art style is very charming. The design of the sprites and the comic CG fit the project's art direction so well.
Flattery out of the way, I want to offer my critique to explain the "B".
Judging from what I saw, I'm going to make a guess and say that you all wanted to accomplish a lot more with this visual novel but were limited on time. Nothing wrong with that! It's the nature of game jams.
That said, I can't help but see a lot of lost potential that holds it back. Especially since that potential could have been realized with a rather small amount of work. I think a "B+" could have easily been earned with a different font and a handful of sprite expressions.
If given more time, you all could have gone further. More writing polish and a second comic CG for the final battle would have easily made this an "A".
Regardless of the reason for that lost potential, I would love to see this project get a glow-up later on down the line. Not sure if that's everyone's intention, but it would be incredible to see.
You all made something wonderful. If anything, this VN is fun. And it's more than apparent that's what you all set out to do. It was a pleasure reading this one. Looking forward to your next project(s) 😸.
Bowser's Grade: A-
I'll start off by saying my grades mean nothing and I just want to impart some advice to the creators. Hopefully this will help you all grow and thrive.
One of the most endearing aspects of this story is how well it captures the slice-of-life genre. From the writing, the presentation, down to the title Deer Diary. It feels like we're reading what is an honest-to-goodness diary entry from an enthusiastic campground staff member. Such a treat.
The story lacks a strong plot and focuses more on the characters to drive the story forward. However, that's exactly the function of slice-of-life. It exists to made mundane, day-to-day life interesting, and I think the writing serves that purpose perfectly.
On the note of character writing, Ryan did an excellent job giving each character a distinct voice and personality. You pick up on their mannerisms right away, and they're all quite charming. Not only that, but the character writing and character sprites work together in perfect harmony. Well done.
The presentation is through-the-roof. Custom UI, the diary graphic with the doodles, and the cute art style of the character sprites all work together in perfect harmony. I'm also thoroughly impressed with Marms's ability to learn RenPy in the span on a month and take advantage of its more advanced features. The transitions and movements of the sprites is such a wonderful visual treat.
There's a few pieces of criticism I'd like to levy that kept this from being an "A+".
I'll leave you with those notes and just remind the team that this was a lovely project that was wonderfully directed. I'm very proud of Marsh for leading this team so well and bringing this excellent vision to life. You all should feel very proud of yourselves, and I'm very much looking forward to reading That Summer Day 😸
Bowser's Grade: A+
Just would like to start off by saying my grades mean nothing and I'm just giving my feedback for the benefit of the creator. Hopefully my insight helps you grow and learn.
This review will be rather short because this is just a homerun on all fronts. The presentation was immaculate. The sound design was incredible. The art direction is divine.
This is a wonderful example of a project with perfect scope-management. This is the kind of project that works so incredibly well for game jams. It's a short story packaged with wonderful art direction that is more than manageable for a month-long game jam.
In the interest of keeping this review "spoiler free", I'm not going to render any writing advice or my thoughts about the ending. You're simply on a higher level than I am. In the interest of not leading you astray for your future projects, I'll keep those comments to myself.
"Keep doing what you're doing" is unfortunately not very actionable advice. But at the very least, I hope it builds your confidence for your future projects. Very well done 😸
(Edit: Changing my grade from A- to just A. It's more consistent with how I've been grading other works.)
Bowser's Grade: A- A
Spoilers ahead!
Let me start off by saying my grades mean nothing and I just want to document my feedback for the sake of letting these wonderful creators know my thoughts so they can hopefully grow and learn. I think you all did a terrific job with this one.
This entry has been my favorite so far. It doesn't earn my highest grade, but I have to do my best to divorce the particular way this visual novel resonates with me and any """objective analysis""" I'm rendering.
The presentation is through the roof. Custom UI, the side sprite, the CG's, and the overall art direction all coalesce together very well. This is definitely one of the best use cases of how to properly implement "using photoshop filters on IRL photos for a visual novel".
I'm thoroughly charmed by the world building, despite it being literally IRL. It's frankly brilliant how each characters' presentation is in line with their "inner self", whether they're being presented as an anthropomorphic animal character or a human being. I think I, and many other furry VN developers, have pondered the question, "how could I make a visual novel about real people going to a real furry convention?" I think this nails it perfectly. Well done.
However charmed I am with the world building, I'm even more charmed by the characters. Each character has their own voice, their own style, and their own way of speaking that make them unique and exciting. The main character especially nails the thoughts, feelings, and personality of your archetypical gay furry man. This is something I've attempted to capture in Chord Progressions with my MC, Eddy. I think Swift nails this better than Eddy does.
This story does a great job of accurately detailing what actually happens at furry conventions, while still dramatizing the experience for the sake of creating an interesting story. I think most avid con-goers know that trying to regail a play-by-play story of what happened at their favorite furry convention usually isn't super interesting as a narrative. It ends up being a disjointed list of joyful experiences that doesn't have a cohesive throughline. Nothing wrong with that for casual conversation, but you can't really build a visual novel out of that kind of experience. That said, I'm thoroughly impressed with how this story didn't do that. There's a plot, not an incredibly strong one, but a plot nonetheless. Not only that, it's a great narrative thread that runs throughout the story and affects each character in unique ways.
While the ending was sad, I think it was great. I've read countless Twitter threads from friends and acquaintances who had to leave a furry con early because of a terrible experience. It's always so heartbreaking, and Swift's story breaks my heart in a similar way.
However, it's just one con. In the moment, it feels like your whole life is falling apart. I certainly have felt that myself at the end of a terrible con experience. What I find incredible is just how well the story captures that feeling. Despite this, there's always the chance the next convention will be better! And I love that we get that little, hopeful glimpse into Swift's next adventure.
Alright, I'm done glazing. I need to detail why that "minus" isn't a "plus" "A" doesn't have a "plus".
I'm my heart-of-hearts, it's an A+++. This story feels like it was uniquely made for me and I can gush about it all day. But I have some critical notes.
I think some more time needed to be invested in polishing the writing. I think it's quite polished already, but more is needed in my opinion. The story structure is solid, and I think it accomplishes everything it needs to. I wouldn't change any story beats or the order they happen.
My main issue lies with sentence structure, primarily, the prevalent use of run-on sentences in the narration. Breaking them up I think would resolve the struggles I encountered when it came to the ease of reading. Often times, these sentences contained several unique ideas that could be broken down. I understand, to some extent, it "fits" the narrator. He's rather chatty, and often has wandering thoughts that are supplanted mid-way through other thoughts. However, I think we can still achieve that characterization without needing to overuse run-on sentences.
As a side note, the dialogue was fabulous. Run-on sentences didn't show up very often during Swift's dialogue. Narration was the main problem area.
Another thing I'd like to address is the didactic parts of the narrative. Nothing wrong with implementing political and social commentary in your piece. I do it all the time. But, for my tastes at least, I think making things more subtle would have benefited the piece overall. Many times, I felt like I was being "talked at" rather than being "talked to", if that makes sense. The main example that comes to mind is the scene on the bus where the details of the Pulse nightclub tragedy were recounted. There was a lot of factual reporting of the tragedy that I think distracted from the narrative. I definitely wouldn't toss out that scene, but I think some restructuring and word-cutting would do the trick.
On a similar note, I think the story itself is a tad overwritten. A good 5-10% reduction on the word count I think would help the flow and pacing beautifully. Granted, the flow and pacing are already excellent, but there's some room for improvement.
With the critical bits out the way, I'm telling you right now, I'm eagerly awaiting a sequel. I want to find out what happens to Swift at MFF. I want to see if there's ever going to be a conflict resolution between him and Osgood. I want to learn more about Swift's new fossa friend. The fact that I'm craving more is such a good sign that what you all made here is fabulous.
Thank you for this entry. It was a wonderful pleasure to read this one.
Reposting this since these bots/spammers like to post suspicious links late at night and I can't catch them until the next day 😡
DO NOT click on any links you may find in this comment section. The version available to download here on itch is most recent version of Chord Progressions. Click the "download now" button above.
It's okay if the route makes you feel uncomfortable. There's an inherent power imbalance between MC/Eddy and Chester, which will come more into focus as the story progresses. Not everyone is going to want to indulge in that fantasy, and that's okay. This is partly why I decided to work on Darrell's route in tandem with Chester's.
Please be careful when you use the word "grooming". It often implies that an adult is seeking to abuse a minor. Eddy is a 25-year-old man and Chester is not seeking to abuse him.
Thanks for the feedback! I'll fix these issues in the next build.
Please keep the typos coming if you find more! But please redirect the feedback to the Bugs & Feedback dev log.
Hiya! Unfortunately with Android issues, the problem is almost always is the device and not the game. If a save file is corrupted, it's not possible to recover it.
To save time, you can go to Options -> Skip Unseen Text to quickly get back to where you were in the story. Should take a few minutes.
Don't worry too much about the choices. All choice combinations lead to Chester's route. If you want Darrell's route, you just either have to pick the edgy outfit, pre game with Cliff, or get wings with Darrell. Just one of those 3.
Hi! Sorry that happened :(. Sometimes RenPy (our game engine) can make mistakes, or your operating system can make a mistake with storing info on your device.
Chapter skips is something I'd like to implement sometime in the future.
One bit of advice I can offer in the meantime, you can go to the "Options" menu, and click on "Unseen Text" under "Skip". Now, you can just press the "tab" key on your keyboard and quickly skip ahead to where you last left off. The same trick works with most visual novels developed with RenPy.
If you're on Android, you can just click on the "skip" button in the quick menu and it'll do the same thing.
