A wonderful piece, with a wonderful flow that gradually unraveled the situation that Alenzio had found himself in, as well as the gradual taking over that the blood of the Countess had, written in the way that showcases how addictive the vampire's blood is. It evokes similar imagery as to ghouls from Vampire: The Masquerade, similarly blood-addicted mortals who benefit greatly from drinking it. This one is among some of my favorite entries.
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Blood Ties's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Overall | #5 | 3.917 | 3.917 |
| Adherence to Theme | #7 | 3.893 | 3.893 |
| Concepts & Originality | #9 | 4.000 | 4.000 |
| Flow & Clarity | #11 | 3.857 | 3.857 |
Ranked from 28 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Comments
A wonderful piece, with a wonderful flow that gradually unraveled the situation that Alenzio had found himself in, as well as the gradual taking over that the blood of the Countess had, written in the way that showcases how addictive the vampire's blood is. It evokes similar imagery as to ghouls from Vampire: The Masquerade, similarly blood-addicted mortals who benefit greatly from drinking it. This one is among some of my favorite entries.
I enjoyed this story a lot - you did a great job writing Alenzio's voice and gradually revealing more details of his... particular situation. It would have been very easy to write a boring story that takes place entirely in the head of one character with no external events, but you kept me hooked from the beginning right through to the end.
The formatting didn't do your story any favors, though - it really could have benefitted from some more paragraph breaks to improve its readability, and if you'd kept the template formatting (specifically the font size and line spacing), you'd have more space to play with in that regard.
An intriguing, well paced story. The premise was great and as the plot unfurled, the theme emerged. Great stuff
Submitted
No Good Deed Goes UnpunishedThe introspection of a desperate man in denial. Light on consequence, but a satisfying read to slake your thirst.
Edit: I don't know what I was talking about, the entire inner monologue is a product of the choices he has made. That's what the kids call a "consequence".
Submitted
With Honours - OPRWJ #10Glad you enjoyed it! As for the connection to the theme, I wanted to explore the idea of agreeing to a devil's bargain and underestimating the consequences. Though, as the story focuses more on the way the protagonist is living with the consequences, the circumstances that led there are admittedly only brought up briefly. With more time and more space, going into more detail regarding Alenzio's decision to seek help from a vampire might actually have been interesting, though.
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