OPR Writing Jam #9

You've got some interesting ideas here, but I don't think 1000 words was enough to develop them in. As it stands, this feels more like the genealogy chapters of Genesis than a completed story.

Something that may have helped would have been to tell the story from the molds perspective. The way it is right now, I'm missing a thread of continuity that would have helped to keep me engaged.

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Memory of Stone

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arcanelviejoDeveloper138 days ago

New Genesis in the Sirius Sector... Nah, it will never catch on. Joking aside, i get your point. I adopted the perspective emulating some old sci-fi tones for long background dump in short text, i didn't get they were themselves similar to stories in the old testament, go figures. Not the best to engage into a story, indeed, needed better prose.

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Hobby FuzionSubmitted143 days ago

Some neat concepts here and very different take, thanks for sharing!

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Their Imaginary Friends

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HewJaxTheLivingFranchiseSubmitted144 days ago

Better late than never. I like how the mold goes from nuisance to pariah to ally to guardian of sorts. It's a neat spin on Infected Colonies and home turf advantage. Where even the turf itself wants a say.

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Bitter Rain - OPR Story Jam #9

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hmnprsnSubmitted144 days ago(+1)

Some interesting worldbuilding. Could have used another draft or two for grammar/clarity.

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FINDERS KEEPERS

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arcanelviejoDeveloper143 days ago

Thanks. I have the the same opinion about grammar/clarity, but i had some issues and could not get to do some more corrections rounds :(

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