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You can try this service: https://www.7cups.com

But I recommend going to a licensed therapist and talking about this with your parents. If you are unable to talk about this with your parents please go to your local counselor (if you have a school counselor you could try that) or contacting a crisis center. You may refer to this link if ever you feel suicidal again: https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

You need to take steps to get better. It's ultimately your choice. Please take care of yourself.

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I don't want anyone in real life to know this... i'm scared...  if my parents knew about this i don't think they'll get worried.. they'll..... ..... ......

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You need someone to talk to about this. Preferably a professional.

I suggest checking this link out: http://www.silakbo.ph/help/

I hope you get help soon. Sorry if I can't personally help you...

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Thank you for your help but, i'll just stay like this.