I didn't get any Doctor/therapist, i'm only 11.. but i think like a mature person.
You can try this service: https://www.7cups.com
But I recommend going to a licensed therapist and talking about this with your parents. If you are unable to talk about this with your parents please go to your local counselor (if you have a school counselor you could try that) or contacting a crisis center. You may refer to this link if ever you feel suicidal again: https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
You need to take steps to get better. It's ultimately your choice. Please take care of yourself.
You need someone to talk to about this. Preferably a professional.
I suggest checking this link out: http://www.silakbo.ph/help/
I hope you get help soon. Sorry if I can't personally help you...