Post by LC_Saiko in Darling Duality comments

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I'd say I'm somewhat competent with coding instead of knowing how to. It's more of a repetition thing if you know what lines to use to achieve what outcome. Yeah, I like writing stories and I've lost motivation for the same amount of them simply because I think they'd be a ton better with visuals. The ideas are still there, just not taking front and centre at the moment. Giraffe Academy on YT has some really neat beginner courses on different langauages which should be able to help if you're interested.

Being a solo dev has a lot of drawbacks but the payoff is worth it in the early days. I've never really been on a team myself and about all of my work have been for my self gratitude or fantasy. It's fine though, I like to think the more you struggle, the better it's going to feel when you see how it blossoms

Melancholy Marionette2 years ago

I'm very much a tinkerer when it comes to trying to learn stuff, even if it's not the most practical way of learning x3 So most of what I have managed to pick up has been through experimenting, haha. I struggle to find tutorials that I can actually follow >.< I don't know what it is about my darn brain, but instructions have to be written in a very specific way for me to actually understand. I guess that could be my ASD in play there. Many a time I have gone to look up help for stuff, spent ages reading through people's advice and instructions on how to achieve certain things, and just been utterly baffled by it. I often wind up super frustrated. It's as though the instructions are missing key steps, perhaps because they assume the reader would already have that knowledge, but it leaves me lost. So then I just resort to brute-forcing a problem again, haha.

I kinda get what you mean about thinking stuff would be better with visuals because I sometimes come up with ideas for audio dramas, only to buckle and end up making them as VNs instead (pretty much what happened with Darling Duality xD cos it wasn't reeeeally supposed to be a VN, haha.) I'm not sure I could ever go back to thinking about making things as text or audio-only based now because I've been infected by the VN bug x3

I'll have to give Giraffe Academy a look up when I get a chance then! With any luck, I might actually be able to follow the courses :3

Yeah, I definitely enjoy being a solo dev, but not being able to cover all the roles that a team would can sometimes be frustrating >.< Oh, how I wish I could draw! I actually used to think years ago that I would never be capable of working as part of a team cos of my anxiety, and that solo would always be the way to go for me, but after taking the plunge to team up for last year's otome jam and spooktober vn jam, I can honestly say that I reckon being part of a team made each project more fun to work on :3 Especially Limbo Line for spooktober cos that was a pretty big team when you include all the voice actors who were involved. There was such wonderful energy! And there's no way I could've come up with everything that's in the game were I on my own. It was just one of those lovely patches in time where all the pieces of the puzzle fit perfectly together ^-^ I think I was hyper pretty much all of September thanks to that, haha. It's really difficult to describe the sheer amount of joy I felt while working on that project with everyone.

All of my stuff has been self-indulgence too pretty much, haha. I don't think I'd even be capable of working on something that I wouldn't be interested in playing myself. I was actually approached last year by someone scouting for writers for a vn-style romance app on mobile. It was paid work, but with pretty strict deadlines. They wanted a sample story to see if I'd be a good fit if I were interested, and encouraged me to take a look at their current content to get an idea of what their users like to read. Since I'm broke and relatively unemployable, I thought I'd give it a shot. Well, I did not enjoy any of the chapters I sampled one bit >.< I tried a few different opening chapters of various genres, but none of them were my cup of tea. I could clearly see the sort of stuff they were after. Essentially smut stories, where choices had next to no impact, the story itself was practically non-existent, the characters were all shallow, and the steamiest of scenes were locked behind a paywall so that users would be forced to purchase the in-game currency to even see them.

Despite that, I attempted to come up with something I thought would be suitable. I purposely dimmed down the details and tried to focus on the tension-building (because one of their guidelines was to have a climactic moment + corresponding choice that could be a microtransaction in every chapter, even though the chapters were only a 5-15 minute read), but I was told that there was still too much detail and not enough drama in my submission >.< They gave me another couple of days to submit a revised version, but I was just honest and told them that I couldn't do it. I already pretty much despised what I submitted the first time. If I shaved any more off of it it would have just been a pointless husk. I could already feel a creeping dread at the thought of having to write an entire story like it, so I backed out. The money wouldn't have been worth the misery it would have caused me.

But yeah, I totally agree that the struggle makes any sort of payoff that much sweeter :3 I'm still blown away every time I get a nice comment on one of my projects! I'd carry on making stuff for as long as I'm enjoying doing it even if nobody else knew it existed, but every single bit of positive feedback I get from others is enough to fuel my hope that I might someday be able to actually make a living doing what I love. I'd rather die than slave away for someone else doing something that I hate anyways (sidenote: I think it was working in retail for a short while that really made that attitude flourish!)

I really should stop rambling anyhow cos I've just gone off on a really long one again, sorry xD I hope you do manage to bring some of your ideas to life in VN form though cos that would be brilliant :3

LC_Saiko2 years ago(+1)

I get what you mean. It's why I rather games from indie teams and solo devs. You actually get to see the work and passion put into the games compared to the big companies who just throw anything in and try to make it a cash grab. I dunno, visuals just work better for me and it's ironic I grew up reading novels which don't have pictures.

I can do a thing or two when drawing female anime style characters, not too good with the guys, but it's nowhere up to scratch to draw the entirety of the poses and expressions needed for my own VN. Plus, I struggle when duplicating a drawing. Not sure why but I might draw something and it looks awesome and that's it, I can't recreate it.

Maybe being on a team would give me some motivation to continue but I doubt that's a guarantee. I'll just see if I can get someone to do all the models I need for a low cost. Voice acting is something way out of my mind right now but I at least have the story and what I want to convey in mind. On top of that, I'm planning to include a bunch of ways the story could end up. Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen but hey, I love torturing myself.

Melancholy Marionette2 years ago

I never even realised that some of the old mobile VN games I used to play years ago before I discovered VNs were a thing on PC were such huge cash grabs until years later >.< Now I look back at them, I wish I had discovered PC stuff sooner. It got to the point with those apps that I would start reading a new release and think, hang on a minute, this is practically the same story as X game they released X years ago, but with different sprites x3 That was when I felt kinda foolish for spending money on those sorts of pay-per route games when I was younger. Even worse, I would later discover that one company in particular who I must've spent a fair amount of money on, treated their writers awfully :( They were sorta named and shamed in a big whistleblowing article when they threatened to fire all their writing staff if they refused to accept a cut in pay. The company just claimed they could easily replace the lot of them with folks who would work for cheaper o.O

I mean, I was semi-aware of the fact that some people working for larger games companies weren't treated fantastically, but it never really occurred to me until then that it was also an issue involving the creation of VNs cos I'd always thought of them as being small team affairs. It makes sense though that the kind of apps that churn out regular content have a who team of overworked, underpaid writers at their disposal >.<

Hehe, yeah, I grew up just reading regular novels too. Then I discovered these 'Choose your own adventure' books, which I fell in love with :3 I never quite played the proper way because I couldn't be bothered to roll a dice during battles x3 and I always kept 1 finger wedged in the previous page in case the choice I made wound up sending me to a page where I died xD but they were a lot of fun! When I first found out VNs were a thing, and basically those books but with audio and visuals, I pretty much lost my shit. VNs rocketed right up there to be my joint-favorite game genre next to RPGs, haha.

Well, you can do better than me then! I'm hopeless >.< I can just about copy a basic image, but it'll come out kinda wonky, and similarly to what you said, I'd never be able to duplicate anything. My mum, who is pretty good at art to the point that she's had no formal tutoring, but can pick up a pencil and sketch a perfect image of Sailor Moon >.> claims that art is a skill anyone can learn. I feel as though while that's true, it's one of those things that you either have a talent for or you don't in the same way that you can technically teach anyone to sing, but some will still sound pretty awful. Cos I studied art for a few years, practiced, and just didn't get even remotely better at it xD I'm pretty sure I completely lack the talent to draw.

You could always jump into a jam with a theme that catches your interest sometime just to dip your toes in the water and see if you enjoy teaming up on something for a short while :3 The main thing that put me off of ever looking for a team for that sort of thing was the fear that people might drop out and leave you in a sticky spot for finishing a project cos I've heard that happens fairly often >.<" But for me personally, it all went great :3

But yeah, self-funding is an issue if you don't have a decent income >.< If I did have an income, I'd probably put almost all of it into my projects x3 Keep enough to survive, spend the rest of making gubbins, haha. But I'm perma-poor, so I've had to rely on the generosity of others in terms of direct help with stuff like art and voice acting + general support to go towards paying people in the future for their work. The only reason I place quite a high priority on voice acting is because I love it so much myself that it's one of my huge motivators. Not being able to afford voice acting for CiQ is one of the reasons I wound up having to put the project on hold. Cos of the lack of interest in the project, I'm just gonna have to see if I can somehow fund partial voice acting myself or something. Either way, I'll get it released eventually cos there's no way I'm abandoning a project I've already written x3

Having various endings might be a bit of a nightmare, but it's super satisfying when it eventually all comes together :D

LC_Saiko2 years ago(+1)

I never really liked big companies solely on the basis most, if not all, of them treat their employees like serfs. I don't really plan on joining any of those, small teams work best for me of not solo.

Melancholy Marionette2 years ago

Yeah, I refuse to support stuff like that now that I'm more aware of it. Not that I ever have much money to buy games anyways xD

Solo or small teams where everyone matters are the way to go :3

LC_Saiko2 years ago(+1)

Yup, everyone works better in an environment and team where they feel comfortable. Overworking employees is a problem I wish to solve but when put that way, there are mountains of problems I wish to correct but may never do. It's quite the brazen reality check and it just makes the individual seem so insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

itch.io

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