I can see how it was lackluster. Even with it not being the main focus the way the characters are fleshed out you can't help but get attached. You spend time with them learning their history, hopes and dreams. Then it just ends with a black screen and a line of 'i spent the night with my *incert species here*, and thats it.
All the character building, getting so close to them and it just culminated to the equivalent of just skipping to the next day.
For me personally i just found them 'meh' but since you mentioned doing additions like the daveXtyson where appropriate as extras i'm not all that bothered with it.
However there are ways to do it without blatantly going ''then they knot fucked''. Maybe rather than thinking about wording it erotic go in a different direction. After all its just looking to be more impactful and satisfying.
I’m no author so I’m probably going to be terrible but I shall try to do an example (I will probably do terrible crimes of cringe).
'My heart was beating like a war drum as we went back to my room. A thousand thoughts running through my mind. When we arrived it was like the birth of a galaxy. Everything was new. Things that were so simple suddenly had new meaning and more gravitas. A touch of the hands, his fingers entwined with mine. His sent that had become so familiar filled me with comfort. His arms wrapping around me made me feel safe from the horrors of the world. And there in that embrace I fell into the sweetest slumber. As if ascending to paradise our souls intertwined our hearts beating as one.'
Yes Dave would never say or think like that, like I said I’m not an author and I’m not part of any fanfic stuff either. This is more an example of just fluffing thing up to sound more impactful. It can be summed up as ‘’we went back to my room and I fell asleep in his arms’’. However it sound a lot more grandiose when you frame it differently. What I tried to do was frame it with spirituality.
If it's a framing issue I can 100% fix that. Would it be a fade to black, just added prose in-between lines that currently exist? What would you say is appropriate for a route like Sal's or even Hoss's where they're still just figuring things out? It's easy when there's deep-seated emotions already there, but I'm stuck on the others that don't.
Would it not be appropriate to frame it in a hopeful light. Daves been struggling with depression and so lost in the past to the point it was breaking him, but now he can look to the future that there might be better times ahead.
Of course more cautiously optimistic what with the imminent death and all. It would be a good opportunity to show dave emotionally healing or at least the potential relationship having a possitive effect on him.
That would work for hoss. Sal could be more working trough stuff together since he also has his own problems so neither of them are alone. I honestly have no idea how to do roswell since as far as dave is concerned he's 100% dead after the month is up.
I have a little to add here if that's alright.
To the people that need explicit sex scenes to have a good finale, I don't know if there is a compromise to ever be had. The fade to black parts were already that nice middle ground I thought. Heck even that was more than I expected since all I had hoped for from Tysons route was that "I love you" moment with Dave and maybe an awkward kiss. Both of which were delivered on (and then some).
I guess if I had to add anything, since I'm overall satisfied with what we do have, maybe just more dialogue or descriptions in some places would be nice. Orlando and Hoss could both do with a bit more because as it is both of their scenes kind of just happen and it's suddenly over whereas Dean and Tyson have that little bit extra.
This sort of applies to each route overall as well, not just day 19, that more dialogue could be added to flesh out everyone's relationship with Dave just that little bit more.
As an example, my favorite part in that pdf was probably Tyson licking Dave affectionately at the end. It was cute and overall a minor thing, but even something that minor stuck with me.
That story actually had a lot I wish was in the game itself. And I don't mean the sexual more explicit parts, I think it's that we get to see them interact for a bit longer and it just felt more natural. Like, it really felt like they loved each other then and it was... well, nice.
So to summarize, it's primarily a pacing issue? We can fluff up the scene a little bit with extraneous detail easily enough, I just assumed people wouldn't want something dragged out when it wasn't going to lead to something explicit. Although the more tender things we should be fine to work in (such as the licking from Tyson).
I'm a little stuck however when it comes to the amount of what's reasonable for certain characters wildly outweigh others:
- Orlando/Tyson/Dean have long-standing affection for Dave in varying degrees so to this end Orlando got the short end of the stick and should be fixed accordingly. (Granted he's a lot messier in the sack than the other two)
- Roswell/Sal/Hoss all fit under the 'still figuring it out' umbrella with varying levels of sexual drive. So there being this same level of romantic tenderness doesn't really seem appropriate.
And that's kind of where adding dialogue in random places doesn't really work either as a quick fix. On one hand we have to balance the mystery, which is supposed to be the main focus, but also not overshadow it which to my own failing I've botched. Still, for someone like Sal to start opening up during the vacation and Dave becoming closer to him as a friend doesn't leave much in the character arc to start reminiscing freely about backstory when we're also in the shoes of a depressed hyena.
I'll see if I can think of a solution but it's not going to be a simple fix I think.
Just bringing Orlando up to match Tyson and Dean's day should fix things with his 19 since it's basically there already. Just a little more before or after the fade to black I think, maybe more of how Dave feels physically, mentally, etc?
As for Hoss, maybe it is a bit of a pacing issue. Just, it feels a little too sudden. So maybe more of a buffer after "let's try dating" would help make it feel less...fast paced.
And Roswell and Sal? I didn't mention them because both of their routes I have no real problems with. I think they have two of the more solid ones overall and their finales fit each of them just right.
Personally I don't mind a bit of fluff. I'd imagine if someone's playing the romance route they wouldn't mind it either. But of course I can't speak for everyone.
And outside of Tyson's aftermath scene benefiting from the little affection licking, and maybe Orlando needing something as well, I think the others are all generally good as is.
