ok look, I've had to redo this bit of text five- sorry, ELEVEN times because the web-page keeps reloading for some reason, welcome to-
episode 11.5: "there's a fox in the garbage can again"
bird and fox are in the imaging room still, the improbability drive[you remember the gameshow, right?] starts going crazy, leading to fox and bird getting sent backwards in time. now the thing is, Adler units don't exist yet, right? so fox is the standing in for the human that will eventually be used as the base for all A.D.L.R units. they get lead down to the briefing room, Bird gets connected to a Kolibri hivemind for the first time in god knows how long and the reigning consensus is; "wow, what an asshole", anyway Fox is assigned under him, doing the paperwork he doesn't feel like bothering with so, to distract him and find out what's up with the commander since Bird at the very least is on to my bullshit, leading to an exchange that my own words couldn't hope to match the comedy of Bird's own wording, so here
"The Fox based 0.5[11.5] session starts with a kolibri network organising a meetup between Fox and some gay guy so Fox can seduce him while Bird keeps the network up to date like it's a romance novel, all just to distract the homophobic admin. It fucking worked. XD"
[note: sometimes your players are simply funnier than you an you just gotta be honest with yourself about that.]
and I must state, it worked. handily, the fucker went unmentioned until the end of the session after that. Now, being the genre savvy pair they are, they decided to go straight over to the commander's quarters. While looking around in her office, they find two Eules, as well as some meat-moss growing under the entirely-too-small desk, so naturally Fox just burns it with his lighter, the meat catching like flash-paper. Fox, Bird, and the two Eules stand around trying to deny it being weird at all because seriously, the fuck are they really going to do about this, this is far beyond anything they were designed for, if you found living meat stuck to the bottom of a desk like awful gum, would you know what to do there? anyway, in the study they find: ANOTHER GAS-MASK GUY!! seemingly a friendly variant of the other masked soldier guy [the one that keeps shooting the party and being ominous] and he actually makes some pleasant conversation before fucking exploding into more meat moss as the memory data corrupts, they meet the commander, a F.L.K.R unit. the empires best, a spitting image of the empress herself- provided she was extremely tired and irritable. making Bird take several points of temporary persona damage from the sheer mental energy radiating off the commander, also, unrelated, there's an A.R.A.R with a makeshift flamethrower burning the mass of flesh that used to be gas-mask guy. Look, I don't think I need to tell you that went awfully in the long run. Anyway the rest of the session went by quick, which is very convenient for me now because I'm very tired[as of writing this, it is 4:39AM] they arrive back at the office, get tasked to bring the suspiciously already open "known issues" document back down to the commander, finding the study fully on fire when they get there, and the commander just watching like "of course this happens the ONE TIME when I try to rest"
the old administrator gets gunned down in the office, turns out this session has taken place over a week chronologically speaking but was only a few hours for bird and Fox, they end up outside the airbase they used to be stationed at, then they end up in a pile back in the imaging room, and SCENE, the end
What did we learn this week? never expect serious character moments when your party consists only of its silliest people, all of which are in a giggly mood that day! seriously though it was great
See y'all next week!