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I don't want to unfairly put too fine a point on it based on such a small piece of the game (and honestly you can pick any story apart if you think about it long enough), so don't worry about it too much.  You are probably right that a little polishing would probably clear things up a lot.  It might just be a reading comprehension issue on my part.

I guess I wasn't really sure who Oswyn is as a character?  We can see that in the introduction he's gung-ho for the empire, and after the time skip, he seems to have settled into the soldier routine.  Beyond that though, I felt like I didn't quite get to know him during the time I was playing as him; his interactions with other characters are mostly in the context of just doing his job.  So from that, we might say that he takes his profession seriously - but he also blows off an important ceremony and readily lets Angus go, which don't really square with that, though he does mention finding his duties unfulfilling.

I actually felt like I learned more about him from Ysabel's characterization: she is clearly written as the more fiery and chaotic of the two (this was foreshadowed well in the prologue), which sets her up as a foil to highlight Oswyn's more reserved behavior.  Is this how you intended it?  I'm not sure if Ysabel is a consistent party member or just someone who drops in from time to time; if it's the former, I'm sure this dynamic will develop a lot more after the demo, since here it is just getting started.

Something I was a little confused about: his rank is Lieutenant, but at the cemetery he talks about becoming Captain - it's not clear here whether he has actually attained that, or is still aiming for it, though it kind of implies the former.  Is Captain here a formal military rank, or more of a specific post and responsibility that is detached from actual rank?  He's the only ranking soldier present at the council meeting, which implies that he's in a top-level leadership position, but it seems odd to me that that position would be held by a lieutenant (I am not an expert in military hierarchy, sorry).

As for Bayard, it was kind of weird having him in the party without really knowing what his deal is.  I went back and replayed the introduction to remind myself of exactly what was said.  We know that he apparently has a seat at the council meeting as a representative of a guild - I assume that this was referring to Elynor's adventurer's guild, but I don't think that was made explicit during the demo.  We also know that he is acquainted with Oswyn in some manner, at least closely enough that Elynor mentions him at the cemetery (I noticed that this was misspelled as "cemetary", btw).

I probably shouldn't pick on Elynor too much since she only gets one scene - though, she apparently had enough wealth and prestige to found the adventurer's guild, so I did wonder where that came from, since all we know is that she's an army widow.  I'm a little unsure of the guild's (and by extension Elynor's) actual position; Bayard mentions that his guildmates (again, assuming that this is the guild he's talking about) probably couldn't handle a few low-level thieves, which makes me wonder what they're actually good for, but the guild is also apparently influential enough to have a seat at the imperial council, and is a large enough operation that Elynor can delegate that seat.  Elynor herself is often not even in Westwind, so whether the guild has other branches that she visits or if she has some unrelated business that involves traveling frequently, we don't know just yet (this may be intentional).

I forgot to mention a couple of strange technical issues I had that I haven't seen with RPG Maker before.

First, I was playing with a gamepad, but my mouse cursor wouldn't leave the screen.  Even if I moved it to my other monitors, a ghost cursor would still stay stuck in the game window.  I just pushed it as far over to one side as possible.

I also saw a weird corruption/warping effect flicker a couple of times.  It's hard to describe, but it was very brief and random, so I could not get a screenshot.  It happened once in the eastern forest, the other I don't recall where (maybe the same area).

There is one other thing too, which I also saw with another game in FBQ8.  When launching the game, I get the below error popup for a split second.  It goes away when the game finishes launching and doesn't seem to cause any problems, but I have no idea what it means.