Post by BraixenFan in Cruel Serenade comments

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Hey! It’s me, a fortnight later!

I have always wanted to translate a game because I thought it was a greatly effective but easy way to contribute to a project I really liked, and today after all that’s happened, I can say I was wrong about the easy part lol

I downloaded the tool you recommended and got to work, completely forgetting that RPG games have a buttload of text. But honestly, I learned so much about Spanish, and it’s supposed to be my native language! It truly was an experience to get every grammar rule right on top of keeping the dialogues contextually correct BUT ALSO making them sound natural. I even had to consider what rhythm and breaks the reader would be taking, and writing around that!

I didn’t think it’d be that tough until Google Translate struggled to give me one straight answer for Slut, that’s when I knew this was gonna be a soulful. But, I can say that I’ve finished the translation, I was pretty thorough testing so I think everything’s in order, here’s a link!

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1K0S-Lq6gPLDo1APl4adnJo3DUPRKXbD7?usp=sharing

Making the translation made me appreciate the world you crafted even more, SO ANSWER ME WHO IS THIS “WEIRD GUY” THAT TAMPERED WITH MY BOI MEZZ BEFORE HE GOT INTO THE ISLAND AND HOW DID HE DO IT, I WILL FIND HIM I WILL PUNT HIM… I… I suppose it’ll be answered in GT, which I’ve yet to play but I’m still really excited about it. Maybe I’ll be playing along with the new people that I hope are now able to enjoy it thanks to my translation!

But yeah, phew, that was a pretty nice use of my vacation break, I dunno if I can use such dark and twisted game as reference of newly-developed translation skills in my resume, but I’m happy with the result, and I hope you are too!

bitshiftgames69 days ago(+1)

Oh hey, glad to hear from ya again! Ha, and I warned you! But I'm glad you followed through. I think people who haven't done this sort of thing underestimate in two ways: the actual practical realities of making a GOOD translation, even if you're fluent in both languages, and the reality of translating EVERYTHING. Every dialog. Every item name and description. Every route. When the lazy goddamn game designer decided to copypaste an event with dialog in it four times so YOU have to copypaste the translation four times (I try to cut down on this as much as possible, but a few sneak through :P.) But I am glad you started with the smaller game at least. GT would have been a LOT to take on as a first project.

It's interesting that you mention learning more about Spanish despite it being native: I was just watching a video by one of those people that are language geniuses and pick up new ones just for fun, and one of the things he said about learning a new language is that actually talking to people was vital, but to NOT try to learn grammar rules from native speakers (of anything) because they often don't know or are completely wrong :P. Which makes sense: you grow up with a language, you just learn what you need, not every little technical aspect of it. Until it comes up in something like this.

But thank you so much for putting the effort into this. I'll slot it in and take a look before long; I look forward to seeing what you did with my dumb joke lines. And as for the mystery man, there IS more info in GT, if you know where to look. I look forward to hearing your thoughts once you finish that one.

BraixenFan69 days ago(+1)

Why yes mr lazy goddamn game designer, I did notice how three of the five outside maps are doubled because ones are the originals and the others are a Return trip, and it did end up making a duplicate of their dialogs, I knew they probably can’t be seen there but I still made sure they were translated!

Most of the translation troubles popped up because of this guy -> ¿ <- like why did Spanish decide to use an inverted question mark? Of course in conversations we only use the one at the end of the sentence, but in more formal texts, it’s weird to not include it, plus with all of the accents and rules regarding commas… it was a lot, but as you look forward to my thoughts on GT, I also look forward to hearing your thoughts about my translation! Funny how that turned out.

I really put in a lot of effort, made sure every line sounded natural, that it was properly written, and that I used words that have about the same impact on the tone as the ones you used (Its just that overall, Spanish words have a ton more impact), also you’re an artist and I’m not, sooo don’t be harsh on my image editing skills? Please? Lol, they’re minor, but I really made sure this was a full translation, lemme know what you think!

bitshiftgames69 days ago (1 edit) (+1)

Oh god, yeah I forgot I straight up doubled some of the maps on this one. But at least they're small! I should say, in case you do eventually work on GT, definitely don't bother translating stuff if you're fairly confident it's inaccessible/doesn't appear in the actual game though, like those copy-pasted events in the return version of the maps. If you ever end up being unsure, probably easier/faster to ask.

And yeah how did that inverted question mark work out? Did you have to do something with fonts, or was it just automatically supported as a unicode character?

And speaking of image editing skills, let's get into the feedback on the translation!

First, overall well done! As far as I can tell there are no formatting errors, accidental deletion of program text etc. And you don't seem to have missed anything. I think this is the first translation I've checked that's nailed all that first try. Nice!

Second, you are also in some ways the most ambitious, because you're the first to actually attempt translation of art assets, like the menu. And you did pretty well without access to the original files or brushes! And wow were you thorough; I JUST realized you even got the generic game over screen and loading notification, which...I'm not sure are even used. Maybe if you die right away before getting the clips? Regardless, impressive. That said...I want to ensure a certain level of consistency and quality throughout, so here's where I landed on the art changes:

1. I've redone the menu text and end game title drop text myself in the proper brushes (and with the benefit of a tablet) so they're a bit cleaner. Also I'm impressed you did TitleBGOld as well, but that's unused, so no need to worry about it. Just a leftover I never got rid of.

2. I'll leave the journal heading text alone, it's fine.

3. It pains me to do this, but to adopt it as "official" I've had to remove the adorable Braixen head, as that is obviously a Nintendo trademark. Not worried about your username though.

4. I'm replacing the cage fuck CG with the original, since I don't want to bother with all the re-rendering I'd have to do to re-write that. That'll have to stay in english for now.

Hopefully you're cool with this. I've attached the new version here if you'd like to preview: https://mega.nz/file/rGhQUCBb#nR6ExDwRbzdPDR6MKhLRbzDX9IAI8Ys5t3a3bnD6_bA

Third, I've removed the edited Credits.txt, as I've added you to the MAIN credits.txt in the main release. That way the translation mod won't modify the file and accidentally erase stuff that may get added to it later in the main release.

I expect to put out a minor update of CS1 by the end of the month, so it'll be in there then (shouldn't break the translation, just updating one of the plugins). Also, feel free to mod the Title bar title if you like: "Cruel Serenade - Translation by Braixenfan" in spanish, that kind of thing.

As for the translation in general, it was a lot of fun to wade though. It's always cool seeing how each language adapts to what's there. That said, I'm not a native speaker (don't know much spanish at all), I just play through and test the way I do with all of the translation patches, with a text hooker and machine translation. Not perfect, but it's become much better in recent years, and it allows me to check that everything makes sense at a basic level, that no wild re-writes were done, etc. That said, I unfortunately can't speak to naturalness/flow etc. much. But I liked what I saw! My only disappointment was that, as far as I can tell the bone/skeleton puns were just translated literally, which means they're not really puns anymore. Correct me if I'm wrong. Feel free to abandon literalness there in favor of actual spanish bone/skeleton-based puns, if possible. Otherwise though, pretty happy with it!

Let me know if you're good with the changes, and if you make any further adjustments to Rev 1. Once we're both good to go, I'll work on getting this up as an official translation for CS1!

BraixenFan68 days ago (1 edit) (+1)

OH NO NOT THE LITTLE BRAIXEN HEAD aw man I was quite happy with how I drew that :c, buh it ain’t copyrighted because it has sunglasses and that makes it my extremely original character Kyle!!!!!! Okay enough of that lol, totally understandable, I thought you’d have an issue with me adding myself to that screen at all, so I guess we’re okay with that.

I had put a lot of effort into changing those assets myself to make sure they did look good enough on their own, not counting on your extra help, but checking, yeah yours look way better!

Loading and Game Over actually do pop up in game by the way! My pc sucks so during initial launch it does flash that screen for like a second, nowhere else but like, I really wanted to do a good, full job. And Game Over… I actually saw myself on my first play through… because I lost to the very first… boar gang… the one that welcomes you in the second screen… oops…

As far as the text characters go, I actually did not find any issue at all, the inverted question mark, accented vowels, the very sexy letter Ñ. Not a single problem surprisingly.

I personally wouldn’t make any other changes, sorry about the missing puns buuut it is harder to make them in Spanish sorry, the title bar can stay as is if you prefer. But we can change the HowToInstall.txt file so it’s worded more officially rather than clearly being me talking (also slid my Ko-fi there, I also didn’t know if it’d bother you so we can remove it too) if you’d like to!

Am just happy this got done! Any other person would’ve made fanart of the game but as you can see, I’m not exactly very skilled with my hands, otherwise I would’ve made a lil drawing kissin’ lil mezz, BUT I hope this opens up the game for other people to play it! I am fully intending to translate GT as well, y’know after I can afford it first lol, but I just really liked this series and your work on it, this is my way of showing that admiration!

bitshiftgames68 days ago (1 edit)

I know! I'm sorry about the head, gotta be a stickler on that though. Thanks though, appreciate your patience coming to a compromise then. And fair enough on the loading, forgot some people have slower machines (next patch should help a little with that actually.)
No worries if you don't want to tweak it any more, understandable, just thought I'd ask. And no worries, the how to is fine, we can absolutely leave that ko-fi link in.

But excellent, thanks for working with me on this. I'll work on getting it up officially with its own announcement before too long here (Hopefully end of the day today). Oh, and on the subject of GT: [email redacted, communication established]. Edit that to a real email address and toss me an email. Think I can help ya out there.

itch.io

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