Post by Samtoinette in After Class comments

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I'm not quite sure what you mean by 'whitewashing', but I was simply saying I don't want to listen to them all the time. I neither implied they were only for mature audiences or compared them to others. I just meant they're not a style I like all the time.

I don't smoke or hang out with smokers anymore... Why do you ask?

I'm not gonna watch CoW, honestly... Realistic war films just depress me and I already take medication for depression. I don't need to exacerbate it.

Well was he insistent about going further than a kiss, even after you said no? If so I understand distancing yourself, but the way you worded it sounds more like he respected your wishes but you still turned away from him.

I don't know about thrilling... We have had constant domestic terrorist attacks, it seems like, for the past several years and it only got worse when our current president was elected. There's a shooting every week, I swear. Though I haven't heard about the big ones, such as a school shooting or church shooting in a few months. I don't pay super close attention to the news though. It's all the same thing on a different day, and the media just over-exaggerates the importance of certain things.

I really like Gopher. His play style is nothing like my own. He's so immersed he becomes his character, whereas I play the same pretty much every time I pick it up... I want to try his style of just being one thing. I've never played as a simple farmer, or an assassin only. I've never played as just a mage or warrior. I want to, but I wind up doing a little of everything when I play.

Right now, however, I can't play the game because it keeps flickering on the main menu and I can't figure out why... I know it's because of the script extender because vanilla Skyrim works without any problems, but I don't understand why that would cause an issue... On top of that I have my schoolwork to do and a newsletter for my mom's Bluegrass Association. *sigh*

We normally seem to have the same taste, so I wonder if you really like Carlos cause I sure do. The quiet types are my thing. I love breaking through that shell.

I don't think it's possible for a human being to be that fast in real life, honestly. You can only go as fast as your body will allow, and blinking only takes a few microseconds.

I used SoloLearn one day. That was it. Just once. I got distracted. I honestly hate learning programming, but it's such a helpful thing to learn... I just don't totally want to.

Haha, sorry. Looks like I annoyed you by talking about mods too much. I just didn't know if you'd ever played with them or not. It's not possible on Android and I don't know what kind of games you play(ed) on the computer.

I don't think 'easily' is the word. It's easier than making a mod without a CK, but the CK is seriously confusing in some areas. There's tutorials, but I have a hard time taking that knowledge and applying it to something different than what they taught me.

I guess I wasn't clear, but sadly Bethesda games are single player, except for their terrible MMOs.

I'm not going to insist on it, but Tusk isn't a bad movie. It's just a bit slow. The concept, while disturbing, is kinda cool. If you want to give it a shot, by all means. It's not gross like THC.

I'm not sure where you got the idea you can date more characters in Santa Lucia, but right now it looks like the only dateable characters are Bryan, Carlos, and Nate... They didn't specify if they'd add more later, though I wish they would. Ben already calls Chris cute, which I agree, and Russell calls Ben cute a few times.

If you read the info of the game, under the "love interests" it clearly says "These are the three characters Ben has the opportunity to pursue a relationship with over the course of the game."

It's "THE three characters" that sounds like they won't add more, but who knows. I didn't look at their stretch goals on Patreon.

Honestly, I was friends with a prankster in high school who pretended to be three of my friends at the same time without me knowing. I was heartbroken when I found out. Since then I don't really care if people are lying to me about who they are or not. I'm just myself, and if I later find out the person was a fake, I'm disappointed. However it doesn't really matter too much. Hell, turned out an ex of mine was playing with my heart. I REALLY stopped caring after that.

Besides, 98% of the people I meet online don't seem to be faking it.

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Res Darkspark4 years ago

That's Tusk?

Oh forget about it, I understood it wrong. That's fair, I have so many different songs from so many different music genres, on my phone, and I listen to like mostly 3 similar genres all the time.

If you are not against it I have two more songs to show you.

The second song is from a band called Hot Chilli Peppers, so you propably know it. It's an old song. How old I don't know though.

I really like listening to this song at times. Not long ago I randomly found it, again.

Make sure telling me “I feel overwhelmed“if it's getting too much.

I absolutely love this song!

says “Every song that is titled “OCEAN“ is just fvcking good“. I get them.

The second top comment says: “Every song that is titled “OCEAN“ is just fvcking good.“ I can mostly agree. I mean one of the most famous hillsong songs is called “Oceans“. That's gotta be worth something, right?

If you want send me some links too. I am always happy to have some “new songs“ which I can add to MX Player. I would be surprised if there aren't a couple we both like.

You propably heard of it. If you are passiv smoker you inhale *more* pollutants than the smoker themselves. I know it's hard to believe, so google it if you want to know more about it. I, by now, heard it more than twice from different people.

Ah that's too bad, but what can you do... Watching CoW a second time wasn't any less burdensome than watching it for the first time. So, agreed it's not hard not to crave for it.

But why medications, why is that?

Two, or was it three, of the people who started the "further education“ with me were in a psychiatric facility (possibly another wrong word). I don't think it's something to be ashamed of. You are not always responsible or even involved, when life goes down-hill for you.

Currently there's no sign that shows me that I'm depressed, but tired and lonesome I am. When I'd look on the birght side I would say I belong to the place of “further education", because all who join there are just as broken or more broken than myself. (God I hate my mode of expression sometimes!)

Most of them do have their quirks, like you and me, so it should be pretty obvious; there's more understanding in this place, more than I ever encountered in my life. Many of them are heavy smoker. The reason why I was asking, I guess.

Might as well talk more about what happend... I don't remember it all very well, but it was more like what you understood, from what I still know. We were about going to sleep when he asked me to join him for some 'fun'... I turned him down and he was crying afterward. (I heard it, couldn't sleep) Why is beyond my horizon of knowledge, because we never talked about it. It was very odd. Now I am much more thoughtful, mature, less naive and not frightened or shy at all. Talking about the circumstances would definetly be easier for me, by todays standards, at least.

Just... Wow, your country sounds not messed up, it sounds like a secret war is happening in the shadows... But even though we don't have as many attacks anti-Semitism and right-minded people in general are a strong force in my country. Thinking about these stupid individuals makes me wanna live on another planet entirely... Sure not everyone was born with an equally high IQ, but ffs this goes further than stupidity could ever bring forth!

You sound like me, for real. I hate watching our favorite news channel. At least 70% from what news they have to report is bad news and like you said it's often the very same thing.

Media is a two-edged sword and will remain as one. (“two-edged sword“ is originally a german saying I think)

Choosing one class only is considered a challenge in games where you can be more than only an archer, for example.

Good, if you are so busy right now my writing would only be an unnecessary distraction anyway. Well, sometimes you need distractions before you can think properly about what you wanna do at this time. For me clearing my head is important, because of my ADHS, else I wouldn't be able to concentrate good+long enough.

Learning Python on my own (for the moment) is a piece of work, but I don't want to give up.

Do you think it has something to do with your pc or is it the games fault?

And did you write “Bluegrass Association“ so I asked for it? I have no idea what your mom is doing, with only that info in hands.

You got it right ;) Carlos is my second biggest furry crush after Tyson these days. Although Hyper and Torahiko are not far behind, if any. I wonder where Car's scar has come from. Is he propably more like Ty than we know and think? (The name Carlos is too long. He needs a nickname, maybe yours is better.)

Oof course it's not. I see you're messing with me. 😌 If you didn't notice I wrote that statement in quotation marks. Mark (name of the protagonist) is just so insanely good and passionate about his work. For him typing commands into the console is for us like writing.

Modding is not impossible on Android. It's just almost non existent.

I totally get that. While learning Python you have to try the coding for yourself, but you are doing math basically. In math classes you only solve mathmatic equations and stuff. You hardly every create them on your own.

Okay my bad then. I thought you could already choose, what was her name, Kathrina or something and Russel. I believe Russel is going to be a route. Would you choose him over Car? I assume you would not date Kathrin. It wouldn't really make sense though if every character, besides teachers/parents etc. was datable. Side characters are an unmovable object.

I didn't look at their stretch goals either. I wonder if they already have some.

Sounds to me like he is the biggest jackass.

You and me of sorts remind me of Neil (Nathaniel) from the book series I am still reading.

I was close friends with some when I was in school and younger. Now there isn't anyone left who could try breaking my heart....

It's propably because online you are anonymous, so you can be whoever you want to be or be an open book. It makes sense when I think about it. I would be open like that outside of the internet too, only to nice people though. Whatever someone thinks of you can't be as desicive as what you know about yourself, how you see yourself (~Cool Kids - Echosmith (good song)) and who you are.

Still tired, more sleep is urgently needed. This week hasn't had passed with one day with me sleeping 8 houres. Tomorrow for us is Saturday, yeah!

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Samtoinette4 years ago

Yep, that's Tusk.

I'm not a Red Hot Chili Peppers fan and never have been. I think it's mostly the singer's voice that I don't like, but I never sat and listened enough to figure out why I don't like them.

Ah, yeah, I've known second-hand smoke is worse than actually smoking for a good 15 years now... God that makes me feel old, haha.

Well... I guess I'll just be honest. I mean, I'm 28 years old, 29 in February. While my life wasn't constantly horrible, I've been through some stuff that scarred me. I suffer from depression, social anxiety, and PTSD. It's not easy just getting myself to leave the house. I've always been a little paranoid, but it got ten times worse when I was 17 and really bad things happened in my 17-22 years.

As a result, I've been on medications for the last 6 years or so. My initial dose of antidepressants has since been doubled, and I had an antianxiety medication added onto it. I also take D3 over the counter because I don't get out much, and that's the main vitamin you get from sun exposure.

Geez, sounds like you were both drunk and he was an emotional drunk. I honestly think it was a little harsh to cut him from your life because he cried over not sleeping with you, but I can see how that could be construed as insistence.

Yeah, it feels like there's a secret war... I can't bring myself to hate the neo-Nazis we have here because there's an entire war on white people.

Speaking of, sounds like your country still struggles with some of that... Though, honestly, my brother has anti-Semitic views as well, despite being part Jewish... I was going to go into more detail, but I don't want to offend you in case you are Jewish. Never know.

My mom's a professor and makes sure to remind her students that the news, like everything else, is another form of entertainment. They want more views just like everyone else, so you can't believe everything they report.

I finally figured out the reason the game flickered on the main menu; it was some issue with the default .ini file. I removed everything and reinstalled which fixed it.

No? I wrote "Bluegrass Association" because that's just another thing that I've committed to help with. My mom is part of a group that gets together monthly to play Bluegrass music... I don't recommend that style, personally, as it's not my thing but you may like it. I dunno.

Typically, Carlos is shortened to Carl.

Speaking of, after checking the stretch goals, THAT'S where the others get routes. Chris, Katarina (I always get her name wrong too, I always think it's Katrina), Russell, and that hooded dude from the beach scene before the character passes out for a nap.

I've learned how to stay quiet in situations I should be respectful, but I definitely speak my mind too much in public. My mom still corrects me at times because I forget to say simple things like please and thank you.

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Res Darkspark4 years ago

Had to rewrite parts of my text again. Sigh

I hope my wall makes up for the elapsed time. ;) It's not a ton, but you didn't exactly gave me alot to work with. :P

Nice, I'm gonna watch it tomorrow though. My dad and I were watching Shaun of the Dead earlier this evening. It was bad, very bad. I expected alot more from such an overhyped movie. Sure not everything was terrible. There were a few good, funny scenes, but it wasn't really enough to have me hooked. Zombieland is so much better. I plan on watching it's second movie that has released not long ago very soon.

Hot Fuzz is from the makers of Shaun of the Dead and far greater.

Have you seen In the Tall Grass by now? You will propably hate it in all honesty. I can see it being too boring for you.

Hmm, nothing I can do about that. :/

Which bands are to your liking again? I am constantly adding more songs to my MX Player playlist. It's awsome! Now, because I started driving, I actually listen to radio music and sometimes I find forgotten songs or I like new songs, which I again can add. The newest single of Coldplay Isn't the best, from what I heard. Maybe you heard it too and liked it?

Ahh good, good. Where I am “studying“ now I'd say half of the people there are smokers. I don't know about you, but I will never understand the fun part of smoking. I will propably even buy a relatively cheap training-mask, which is labeled as “High-Altidude-Endurance-Maske“, whatever that means. I know you're rather not a sports person, but training their lungs would hurt nobody. The rating is good and I trust the company who, so to say, tell we disregard how important well funtioning lungs are, especially for athletes.

You can think of me as a sports freak if you want, it fits.

Currently I am able to wear my 20 kg (up to 30) weight vest in the forest and even do a few pullups with it, which I'm pretty proud of. 😊

OMG cut it!!! 😂 No, we were not drunk and I am sure he wasn't crying because I didn't want to... do... “things“. My guess is he cried because he was homesick. Why he would be that I am completely unsure of. But whatever it was and happend there stays there.

The past is the past and the present or future is now or tomorrow. I pretty much hated learning what happend when and who won which war or who developed which item/device/formula... magic spell. The history class was boring for me, even though I wasn't terrible at it.

Humans never seem to learn from past events, so why bother with learning about them...? Perry Rhodan is the best book series when it comes to Peace, Freedom and Humanity anyway and it's science-fiction.

I may not have had the most terrific childhood or parents one could think of at all, but the older I grew the lonelier I got and whatnot....

29 sounds old, but is it really? My older sisters boyfriend is 29, I think, and she is going to be 23 (I think). There's still plenty of time to... work AND have fun.

I'm jewish? How come? We already talked about it. Like you I grew up in a entirely christian family. I can't remember if you talked about how your parents reacted to your coming out as bisexual. My parents wouldn't reject me from their family, but they wouldn't be happy with my “decission“ like at all. My dad would understand it the best, because he *was* gay himself, he told me... There was this one time I used to download free gay ebooks with my parents account. Now though they seem to believe I'm straight as uncooked spaghetti.

Isn't it a cruel world sometimes?

You propably won't understand, but it helps me reading from terrible fates like Neil Josten's to get over “my own little nightmare“. I still really recommend this book series. The writing feels like it actually happend and is not fiction. Or it feels like the author experienced very similar things. Well, let me tell you I hope not.

Right now, 70% into the second book of this triology, Neil knows he will be gone from this world soon. I can't describe how good these books are! Neil is only a “second“ identity to protect him by the way.

I know there is only so much every individual human can bear, but you will make it through the pain and suffering and possible hatred. Believe in yourself, because I do!

Here are some quotes from The Raven King:

[...] Neil shook his head. He didn't know how to explain the fear eating a hollow knot in his chest. Something like this demanded complete honesty, and Neil had been lying since he was old enough to speak. He didn't know how to tell the truth now. [...]

[...] Guilt was a relatively new emotion for Neil, something the Foxes were teaching him through prolonged exposure to them. Up until this point he felt it in umcomfortable, fleeting bursts. Now it was a fierce all-consuming heat that made him want to cut his own stomach out. He didn't know if he was going to puke or scream. [...]

[...] Neil flinched. He'd pushed because he needed to see that horrible smile crack. He needed to know if 'unknown' was screaming behind the euphoria his drugs fed him. But 'unknown' wasn't, and Neil couldn't live with that. [...]

[...] “Better luck next time, Neil,“ he said. “I warned you once already, didn't I? I don't feel anything.“ “Anymore,“ Neil said, barely a whisper. [...]

[...] Guilt, grief and pain were corrosive toxins in his veins, tearing him apart from the inside out. He let them, made them, because these memories were awful but they were things that made sense. That aching loss was all he knew and understood. If he lost sight of them all he had was the unfamiliar cruelty he'd witnessed tonight. [...]

[...] Apparantly death wasn't enough cause to shake the routine. [...]

[...] “Neil,“ 'unknown' said, “between you and me, I don't think you've ever been fine.“

As you can see there's absolutely nothing fun, happy or enthusiastic in at least the first and, I assume, second book too. It makes you wonder if there's going to be a happy end at the end of the last book. If not I couldn't live with it, it's not *fair* towards the characters. I know the word 'fair' is naive, but it serves the righteousness. If you don't want black and white order & chaos remain and somehow fairness.

What I think is there are news channels that indeed want views, so that is their only interest, but in my eyes there are also channels that tell the truth. Maybe all channels exaggerate, though it would be fine with me.

Glad to see you got things working.

I never heard of Bluegrass music. It sounds to me like Smoke Weed Everyday... I'll give it a shot.

I prefer Car. If you pronounce it a bit different and roll the 'r' it sounds better imo. That's just my opinion though. :)

Oh yes please the hooded guy is on my favorites list very high. He appears to be a rhino, right? You and me like mysterious/closed up characters. I like them if they wear hoods even more. But you forgot about the panther. He needs his own route too or is he one? I forgot.

Another thing where we're alike. I have a problem with elders (?). I love being free, I love being unbound, and unresponsible “for me it looks like we can do whatever we want“ (Venom). I love Venom, he is easily one of my favorite characters, ever.

I dunno if I have told you this. The night time I like the most. It's so peaceful and if I happen to watch something scary and get scared the feeling passes in a rush. Night walks in a group are the best! :D

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Samtoinette4 years ago

I don't give you much to work with on days I catch the response first thing in the morning... Like today.

That's how I feel about Shaun of the Dead, but my mom loves that movie. She also likes Hot Fuzz too, and that... End of the World film with the same actors, but yeah. Luckily she rarely asks to watch Shaun of the Dead. I mostly put it on if she's sick or down about something. It helps cheer her up.

Well, a lot of bands... Linkin Park, 3rd Door Down, Anberlin, Chevelle, Avenged Sevenfold, Five Finger Death Punch, Sonata Arctica, Pink, Katy Perry, Three Days Grace (old and new)... The list goes on and on, but I guess I'm just not a huge fan of whatever style Coldplay/Radiohead/Red Hot Chili Peppers/Shinedown are. I have to be in the mood for their mellow style. Often, I only like a handful of songs by a band.

My favorite is probably between Five Finger Death Punch and Sonata Arctica. I like more of their music than most bands. I've always been a fan of metal music more than anything, though I've been through rap and country phases.

Heh... Unless you're talking about marijuana and not cigarettes, people don't smoke for fun.

Marijuana I've tried once. It's really not my thing, but it makes everything funny. It also mellows people out, so it helps relax muscles and stuff. It's also safer than cigs.

In my experience, you want to talk to pot heads when they're sober because they're usually the smartest and most insightful people you'll meet. I have a theory that people with high IQ mostly smoke weed to stop their brains from going a mile (or kilometer) a minute.

As for cigarettes, people smoke them as stress relief. I'm pretty sure it's the breathing in and out that relieves stress, because you can do that and calm yourself without breathing in toxic chemicals.

Now, for that mask... High altitude means way up high, like on a mountain. I assume you know what 'endurance' means.

So it sounds like the mask helps mountain climbers climb Mt. Everest (and others) easier.

I'm not a fan of history either, but 90% of what we learn here is wrong anyway. Our history was written to make Americans look better than we are. For a class she took, mom had to get a book called Lies My Teacher Told Me (or something to that effect). I haven't read much of it, but one of my favorite quotes is "In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. In 1493, he stole all that he could see." Columbus is painted as this derpy guy we praise for finding America; when he wasn't even the first to find America. (see: Amerigo Vespucci)

The only times I enjoy history is when I'm told the truth, or interesting facts they don't include in the history books.

That's right. I forgot about that. My mom says I forget anything that doesn't interest me. She thinks it's weird that I don't ask people what they do for a living or anything. I've told her time and time again that that stuff doesn't matter, their personalities do, but she just doesn't get it.

Anyway, what I was going to say is that my brother, who's ancestry is part Jew, is very anti-Semitic. He says Jews ruin every country they go to, then just move on to the next. He's a bigger history buff than I am (obviously), so I'm sure he researched it.

He's also started reading the bibles of different religions.

My parents were convinced I was confused. The first few times I came out, my mom made me read parts of the bible talking about homosexuality being wrong (*cough cough* all in the Old Testament *cough cough*)

Mom doesn't like to be reminded of that now, because I think she's started understanding that some people are just gay. There's actual scientific documentation that shows a gay man's hippocampus is smaller, like a woman's, than a straight man's. She's gotten to the point where she gushes over how cute a gay couple is. Too much mushy stuff makes us both uncomfortable, regardless of the couple, but when there's a small kiss we're both like "they're so cute!!!"

I think she finally realized I wasn't confused when I finally dated a girl at age 22.

Sorry, but that writing is terrible... I definitely won't be reading that series now. I felt like I was reading fiction by a 12 year old.

I abhor Bluegrass music... I've only gone to a handful of mom's shows to show my support, but I can't stand the style. Dueling Banjos is cool, and I like the songs that sound peppy yet are about something macabre, but overall I don't like it.

Ahaha! Yeah, I want the panther (Sam) to have a route too, but he doesn't even have a sprite so I doubt he'll get one unless a lot of people ask. I was just mentioning their stretch goals, and Sam wasn't included in the list... Also I wonder if we're talking about the same character.. the one who takes your bags to your room, right?

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Res Darkspark4 years ago (4 edits)

I hope I'll be able to answer earlier this time.

Don't worry about it. I was mocking you. 😇

Tusk. Well, it was an experience for sure. It's a 'good' movie... but I hate it. I don't want to imagine what THC would be like. I'm gonna stick to TWD - The Walking Dead instead. Passing the 2-episodes-in mark seems not so easy though. If Tusk was fsk 18... NO THANKS! Although it is a comical and disgusting movie rather than traumatizing.

Dunno if you know Constantine the series. Another show I'm watching at the moment and I like it so far. It's about an “exorcist“. The genres are drama, fantasy and horror.

A german lesbian, aswell as Corvius, I talked with on youtube and who are also horror fans, suggested me the movie Brimstone.

Pyrrha (+something) is open for a WhatsApp group chat. If it happens are you interested in joining? It's just an idea. :) I'm sure they would welcome you.

Meet Sam!

And I got reminded that the hooded dude from the beach is a dragon, not a rhino. Still looks like a rhino to me. What do you think?

There's this story too, I found on U- 18 Chan. Some claim it as the best comic book, but not me.

https://u18chan.com/gc/topic/1151824

You are telling me the book series is bad, cause the writing is? First of all you're wrong, second you are wrong.

5 star reviews basically ONLY and one 1 star review ONLY!

Whatever, think what you want to think! I mean sure the quotes are from the second book not this, but still.

(I love this book series!)

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Samtoinette4 years ago

Ohhh, Sam's so cuuute!!! I hope he gets a route at some point.

Yeah, I think the hooded dude looks like a rhino too. Maybe he doesn't if/when the hoodie comes off?

Wow, you took that personally.

I'm not gonna read it because *I* think it looks like it was written by a 12 year old. It's nothing against you. It doesn't make you stupid for liking it or anything. You like what you like and I like what I like and that's okay. We don't have to have all of the same interests to be friends.

Also, I just have to gush for a minute... First of all, my 'girlfriend' hasn't spoken to me in a month. I told her about a particularly macabre turn on for me and she even told me it freaked her out.

That said, I've told you before I'm demisexual and only feel sexual attraction to people who's personalities I like. Weeeeell, there's this really funny and outgoing guy in my class. For the first 8 weeks, he was sitting on the same side of class as me but on the opposite end of the row, next to this guy I guess he's been friends with for a while. I teased him about always sitting in the back, and the last two weeks he's taken the seat right next to me.

I don't want to read too much into it but I'm hoping that might mean he kinda likes me. He doesn't have a ring on his finger, but he could have a girlfriend or something.

Either way, it's great to have a fun person to sit next to and make weird comments with.

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Res Darkspark4 years ago

i. Hate. My. life. (Sorry, the ending is better..)

I deleted my writing by swiping back once too often, again!

I wrote so many good things. I wish I could restart my life or day or week or month or year.

This really is embarrassing and mindbreaking. I need to do more than just change the browser.... or we use WHATSAPP! Ah right discord OfficialNoonOn #0115 then I write my phone number, if it is ok for you. I'd understand if you want to keep yourself distanced or keep it “professional“.

Anyway PLEASE???

Let me just say... tomorrow, hopefully, maybe definetly. I don't even know at this point. (I don't have time left to write all of it again)

(I wish I could be there for you to carry the burden of all your bad experiences. What I could do is maybe cheer you up by being the silly guy I am... Sometimes, propably because of my ADHS, my mind goes miles a minute and I wanna do, think and comprehend more than I can in the fraction of a specific time. Sometimes I wish I could live in one of the many fantasies of mine, like Perry Rhodan or a furry world. I would like fighting in a war much more than living a normal, everyday life, to have a purpose. What are your fantasies? Do you have any you want to share with me?

Right now a better future is all I wish for. A future in which I have friends I can trust with my life and talk about silly things and do silly things or even break the rules... I will never understand what my purpose is. Why I am here, now and where I will go, what will happen.

The most important thing is having a fullfilling life, keeping every good and maybe not so good person tight by your side, forming your very own/personal opinion about basically everything and simply being a loving person.

Believe me it's not easy for me, like at all. But you and me can always hope we will get there one day or the other.

I love talking to you. It helps me and I do hope it helps you too. Keep being awsome, even if it's 'only' in the net, for now. Everyone is worth something and yes you too!)

Tomorrow hopefully sigh ;/

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Res Darkspark4 years ago (3 edits)

i. Hate. My. life. (Sorry, the ending is better..)

I deleted my writing by swiping back once too often, again!

I wrote so many good things. I wish I could restart my life or day or week or month or year.

Anyway PLEASE???

Let me just say... tomorrow, hopefully, maybe definetly. I don't even know at this point. (I don't have time left to write all of it again eh today)

Believe me it's not easy for me, like at all. But you and me can always hope we will get there one day or the other.

I love talking to you. It helps me and I do hope it helps you too. Keep being awsome, even if it's 'only' in the net, for now. Everyone is worth something and yes you too!)

Tomorrow hopefully sigh ;/

Two times the text??? Sure, why not! ... Can't delete, only edit.

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Samtoinette4 years ago

Well, I sent your Discord a request. It... Will probably be obvious it's from me, even without the name and tag#. I use Samtoinette EVERYWHERE. Ever since it occurred to me how cool it sounded a few years ago.

I'm sorry you keep having to start over, but the comment on the end made me laugh. Twice the text, yep! The obvious frustration of the entire post and then that at the end is too amusing, but I'm sorry to laugh at your irritation.

My brother has ADHS (here it's still ADHD I think?) so I could get a hold of him for a time to laugh my ass off about random shit.

Oh! I have a favorite picture depicting it...

It made my brother laugh.

Uh, yeah... The fantasy I told my girlfriend about was a sexual one, but yeah.

Honestly, I can't tell you how often I wish I was a guy. I'd be gayer than a unicorn shitting rainbows cause even as a girl I like it up the butt... Sorry, probably TMI lolol.

My greatest fantasy has always been to have a lover and live an ordinary life. Get a lot of dogs. Build my own estate.

Even as a child, while I pretended to be a Sailor Scout or Super Saiyan at times, I never wanted to be famous.

Even so, if I could be a furry... I'd jump at that opportunity.

I'm guessing you think I'm having a rough time because my girlfriend stopped responding to me? It's not the first time she's done this...

You almost made me cry happy tears with that last little bit. I'm glad I can help you. It helps me too, I sometimes don't feel like I can talk to my mom or best friend about some things because they know me too well, if that makes sense. Some things are easier to tell a 'stranger'.

While we may have misunderstandings and I think I hurt your feelings from time to time, I'm glad we started chatting.

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Res Darkspark4 years ago

12 days feel like an eternity..... Things happend, one thing in particular. More about it later. Also, if this reply won't have at least 13 paragraphs (only the major ones count) forget me right away.. (maybe I will change this number after I'm done, I wonder)

You are writing yours in the morning..?..? But WHY? Nevermind me writing this late at night or early in the morning.... 🙃

Oh boy (and girl for the feminism)... 15 more minutes until midnight, but idc at all.

Oi, nothing wrong with good ol' Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead though. No! Go away demon!

Well, is she sick or does she feel down often? If yes...then you're both screwed. I know how this is meant, but it translates to “then you are both crappy“ in german. Thanks google translate. Your input is always appreciated.^

Anyway, do your best to keep her in a good mood then. That makes me sound shitty for some reason, doesn't it...

I assume, and it's not the end of the world, our music taste is different. Most of these bands are unknown to me. I know like 3: Linkin Park, Five Finger Death Punch (Seven Nations Army only), Pink, Katy Perry. Okay 4 in total.

Coldplay has just released a new song “Orphans“. If Radiohead is like Shinedown and RHCP I'd most likely enjoy it.

Five Finger Death Punch's “Seven Nations Army“ is really good. Sonata Arctica ??? Dunno.

But, what I actually wanted to tell you is this. Not every mellow appearing song has to be mellow. At least not in my eyes. For this occasion I have 2 prime examples the song “Unbreakable - Faydee &...“ and “Best I can - Art of Dying“. Both are not songs that make me feel down.

A song that only consists of rap and does not know anything else than being stupid is nothing for me. Not saying you're listening to something like this. I like rap songs like “Battle Scars - Lupe Fiasco &...“ or “Willst Du - Alligatoah (a funky, german anti-drug song“. I would listen to country music, if I'd know any... Metal, well it can be good and I have some songs on my phone from this genre, but only a few are meant for me, I think. I prefer rock.

Hmm... some people from my “begone thot“ (I'll tell you why) work place are “twisting their own cigs". It could mean they're smoking stronger stuff, could it? I think I could've asked and they would've answered truthfully, but why should I? It's none of my business.

How do you know Marihuana (why is there a german spelling? Strange) is safer than cigarettes? Have you read about it or did people tell you?

Pot heads is a funny word. Haha. You mean it as an insult, but you are praising their cleverness or something?

That smoking relaxes is not news to me, your theory is though.

Thanks for telling me what the mask is all about. Although I read in the description of another mask-band (phantom, the noble one) how these masks are not meant for simulating altidude training, buut whatever.

Some things about my work place are worth mentioning. The people (participants only not really the employees) are awsome, because all have their quirks and problems like me. I met an open gay guy there (age 22 was it I believe). First I wasn't sure, but everyone called him gay and he kinda looks like it anyway, so I told him. When I drove the train with him one of his “friends“ was there too and because I haven't told him I was gay, until then, his attidude was reserved. It changed though when I told him “you are not the only one“. It was quite funny. First I-

(Uh, have to go have to bring my younger sister and her boyfriend home. They went on an event. It's 01:10 exactly and I'll drive them. Lol. Ok, as it looks like am back. We drove a friend of my sister to another district too. Not that I was complaining, driving is alot of fun at night in rather small cities like ours (90.000 population) (not with rain though...))

-saw how the gears were turning fast, in his head, then, as the realization hit him, we talked a bit about it. Apparantly he had more boyfriends than I will ever have in my life... I haven't really talked to him since and now I'm out of there. What can you do. I will repeat myself until the end of time. Karma is a bitch!

So, this is what I meant with the big thing that has happend. I nicely got kicked out of my work place after the 6 week probation (?). They say I have to/should go to a “facility“ or work place for Asperger and Autism victims... You know what I didn't even feel hatred or sadness, anything really, except annoyance. It's like I'm part of the “The End of the F***ing World“ crew. The only sad part about this is I won't see the nice people anymore I met there. I almost forgot to mention that. There is a girl that wants to be a boy and therefore wears male clothes and has short hair. She (or he) is cool. Then there is a man, who has “Smoke Weed Everyday“ tattoos all over his body, as far as you can see at least and he said it himself he made some of them on his own. Half of all the people there are smokers and still they are very affable (?) or nice people.

Ha! History is one of the worst most useless subjects in school, because us humans never seem to be able to learn from our past, fatal mistakes.

If you were always told how good you were then we were always told how bad we were. I guess one can't say the history of America was nonstop glorious, with the Civil War for example, but compared to the extermination of about seven million jews (in the german history) it is in comparison a mild past. (and that makes me look like I want to win some kind of insane competition I really don't). Let's just move on shall we? Or no, wait! To make you and me feel better I remembered something. It's a picture of a tall, high status woman (France) who brings civilization, culture, religion, ... to the natives of whichever country who almost look like goblins. And all of these 'elements' in “ “ obviously. The picture was most likely made in the time when France thought of itself as most advanced empire, so yeah...

The history class and teacher of the best school ever, the Futurum (not Futurama😁), were actually not bad at all after all. Basically every teacher of this school was very chill. The students and teachers were all “by you (singular)“ (it's hard to explain, because you (singular) and you (plural) is the same in english....). In Germany the students have to say you— sie (plural) if they talk to the teacher.

Not everyone has the same mind and priorities and we have to accept it. For what it's worth I agree. Peoples personalities matter the most, after it, on second place, come their acts and words.

Nah, you can't just say a race, that isn't even a race, is the problem why there exist poor people! If you believe this I'm sorry you're dump or explain it to me. How do they move from one country to another “ruin“ their economy? Your brother may be smart, but a statement this wrong is bad.. I heard in the bible is written that the Jews are blessed by God.

Haha yeeaaaah... I heard this line before. I also was told or heard in the bible is nothing in particular written about homosexuality. Then again the Old Testament is the worst part of human history. “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth“ (I hope I translated fine, oh google translate acutally knows something for once. Who would've thought.

I like your mom. :)

That's the thing. For us gays it is 100% normal to fall for guys/girls and feel no shame or confusion. Well, some straight guys/girls do when they find out, but in general we are okay with it. If straight people on the other hand think about gays it's the same as if they have to think about furries or whatelse there is. For them it's as if they are seeing an alien and what they believed in, their convictions are shattering to pieces. Whatever though I refuse to call it our mistake.

This bluegrass music is too funny, oh no!🥺 It sounds like a mix of blues and country music to me, if I'm not entirely wrong.

Even though this guy is unsympathetic he often makes very funny videos. Check this one out! It's about 1 hour and 15 minutes long.

He also made a frame by frame analysis of the Cat's Trailer. I assume you heard about this movie...? It's gonna be a nightmare. 😵😂

I am sooo happy for you! :D He seems like a cute guy, you should go for it. Keep me updated on how it goes. Spread the gossip like noone else. ;P People to whom you can talk about everything, weird topics in particular, are the best, no doubt.

But eh how does having a girlfriend and dating a boy work? Don't do this to them, please. Kidding, but you have to explain this. I don't see through it. Unless you want to break up with her. One month with no talking is a very hard punishment.

You don't wanna know what my sexual fantasies are.... Okay, you can exclude BDSM (stuff like that) for sure. If this is what you are into, none of my business. Don't apologize yourself... I am gay, so up the butt should be rather normal for me, no?

If I'd had to choose a possible fantasy it would be like this: A life away from what we call civilization, somewhere where it's peaceful yet exciting, where animals won't run away, if they see you and you rarely need any bothersome and needless electronics.

Well, I can't say I don't want to be famous, BUT only if my identity is unknown to the world and I'm a super hero. 🦸‍♂️

So, if you could be a furry you really would like to be one? I of course would be a 🐺 if not a 🐶 or a 🐯 panthers are also cool and there're propably more, you?

Zach is so insanely cute. <3 Stormsinger Studios can turn every animal in a cute one, facts. I wonder what he will look like without a hoodie. I hope it won't ruin his current look.

I have to start on The Smoke Room soon and continue on Kingsguard. I have to read The Raven's King and finally finish Werewolves. There's Adastra too, I'm maybe very close to finishing and after that more books and visual novels (without the visual, from the PlayStore). Propably enough to keep me entertained until my death with age 36, because of all the stress............

Mommy help I'm being swarmed!!!..... Sssss Sssss

I indeed took it personal...

You have to admit your derogatory choice of words wasn't very correct. You have never read any of these books, so you can't tell by the few quotes I wrote they're bad. It's not fair :(

Don't worry I am not holding a crutch against you, because of it.

So... what about movies/series now? Have you seen “The Haunting of Hill House“? It's a very dramatic horror series Corvin (not Corvius btw) suggested me and I'm on the 6th episode. (On Netflix) It is really something. The slow pacing in the beginning was a little turn off, but the series still had me captivated till now. You should totally see it for yourself, because I don't want to spoil everything. Another movie from the same creators (I think) is Memento (memento mori — carpe diem).

Have you seen Joker (2019)? I haven't yet sadly.

Another thing I have been watching is “Ich seh ich seh“ — Goodnight Mommy. (On Netflix) An Austrian horror movie, that is rather disturbing, than thrilling and pretty weird throughout. The movie is about a mom, who comes home after her beauty operation with bandages in her face. Her boys have to ask themselves. Is this woman really our mom? Goodnight Mommy has an even slower pacing, but it's worth it in the end. The ending is pretty crazy, you'll see evantually.

The End of the F***ing World season 2 is finally here!!! Ahhh it's so, so goood! I watched the first episode and second I think so far. Simply love it.

I wrote it's diffult for me to pass the 2nd episode of TWD, because of all the other movies/series I am watching.

About Brimstone (drama & mystery thriller, without mystery)........

......this movie is insane! It's not comparable to Casualties of War, but it's now the newest, craziest movie I have seen! It's not pure cruelty, bloodlust and rape, like in Spartacus (series) or so, no, it's beyond that! Let me just say I won't see it again anytime soon. Yes, NaruShipp will always be the most unbearable thing, but Brimstone is realistic and not fantasy.

Not gonna argue with that, your name Samtoinette is pretty cool, in a French way. ✓

It's okay though. Laugh your sanity off as much as you like. I'm not gonna stop you. Hehehe

Bugs like that one are only there to drive me crazy and I hate it! Make it stop! Keep it cool aand deep breaths in and out, in and out.

Your little pic made me laugh as well. It fits pretty damn good. Good to see your brother has a healthy amount of humor. I also like black humour or silly humour. If you'd meet me in person you would propably say that I'm still a child deep down. :) Although I can be very serious and uncommonly sad, for a child, at times. Even though I think I wasn't incredibly sad in a relatively long time. I remember one time I was so hopeless I left the house at night and never wanted to come back, but I did after walking around for an hour or so...

For me it would be the opposite. My mom and my dad and my sisters are no strangers, though they too often, like all the time, don't seem to know me very well.

I'm glad we started chatting too. It's been a very “rich on information“ ride and was very much worth it. (There's no “informations“, right?)

Misunderstandings are perfectly normal, especially if one of the *interlocutors* (hahaha) is not talking in their mother tongue and if I happend to hurt your feelings apologies.

It's cause a stranger can't really judge you, can't find you and can't blame you on social networks and stuff.

Last time on itch, next time on dis? So, you write on dis the next time?

Now let me have some rest. It's soon half past 7 now. 😌

I hope your curiosity is satisfied by the amount of info I packed into this bunch of words. I assume I cover everything from importance... But I'm not too sure.

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