Play short story
A Rocky Alliance - OPR Writing Jam #9's itch.io pageResults
Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
Adherence to Theme | #25 | 3.717 | 4.000 |
Flow & Clarity | #26 | 3.375 | 3.632 |
Overall | #30 | 3.440 | 3.702 |
Concepts & Originality | #45 | 3.228 | 3.474 |
Ranked from 19 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
beware the orc training videos, that’s classic 👍
The overall message is great, though a bit heavy-handed in the third column.
Had a great time with this one!
I think you did a really good job with pacing this one - it felt like the perfect amount of content for the format. I do think that a lot of the exposition wound up being a bit unnecessary (like some of the opening paragraph, and the long one in the second column), and I think I'd have rather seen that word count spent on more dialogue. The dialogue (and positioning the orc as the knowledgable, enlightened one) was a highlight of the story to me, and I'd have liked to see more of the setting details come out organically in it.
She Who Howls is also a great spaceship name and I'm definitely stealing it.
I liked it, was a fun read! Felt like the exclamation marks were a bit over used, but other wise no notes! (disregard the fact that I use an exclamation mark whenever possible in this comment)
I liked it, was a fun read! Felt like the exclamation marks were a bit over used, but other wise no notes! (disregard the fact that I use an exclamation mark whenever possible in this comment)
'Orc and stone!'
'You spelled rock wrong.'
'Nah, I didn't.'
At last, an Orc helps something else and doesn't get betrayed for their effort. Thanks.
Good stuff. I really liked the orc showing up to save the day--and the gentle chastisement that followed! I wonder if the irony might have been stronger if you introduced the anti-orc prejudice sooner? Great story, though, and definitely an unlikely alliance!
Lovely stuff, really liked the pacing as the fight got underway. I liked the wholesome life lesson learned by Girra, especially after refering to the Radiance Cascade lore as a cool contrasting touchstone, great contrast to the grimdark backdrop.
Lovely stuff, really liked the pacing as the fight got underway. I liked the wholesome life lesson learned by Girra, especially after refering to the Radiance Cascade lore as a cool contrasting touchstone, great contrast to the grimdark backdrop.