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A jam submission

Glass and LiesView project page

Submitted by small_grey_owl — 18 hours, 14 minutes before the deadline
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Play book

Glass and Lies's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Concept & Originality#14.4734.556
Adherence to the Theme#44.1834.259
Overall#44.1224.198
Flow & Clarity#153.7103.778

Ranked from 27 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted

I really liked how you played on the reflective nature of the different elves in the opening. A great entry and one that, looking at the other comments from people below, will need me to do some further research as this is a reoccurring character. To the previous OPR writing!

Developer

Thanks - I'm glad you enjoyed it! I tried to make sure Glass and Lies stands on its own, but reading my previous entry will definitely help explore Nepenthe's character. (And I don't think it's a bad piece of writing either, if I do say so myself. ;) )

Submitted

Story of the competition, hands down. The character development in the first paragraph was enough to sell me, everything else was just superb. Very nicely done.

Developer

Thank you so much for that - I'm really glad you enjoyed the story! There are some very well done pieces in the jam this time, so it's great to hear that I can count myself among them.

Submitted

I appreciated the return to Nepenthe's story.  Keep it up!

Developer(+1)

Thank you - I intend to!

Submitted

Lovely continuation from your previous OPR story, it would seem quite easy to chain her ongoing story with tales from her book into a longer narrative. Looking forward to the next one.

Developer

Thank you - I would love to write a larger Nepenthe story. I'm still sort of hammering out what that would look like though.

Submitted

That was such a  cool character!

Developer

Thank you! I really enjoyed exploring more of who Nepenthe was and I plan to keep writing about her.

Submitted

dang, that was great!

loved the intro where it was talking about how the elves were divided but one again 'whole in death' and how Nepenthe was not an elvish snob, but apperently could have been, in a future, in some world.

may the dead always rest peacefully in her book

Developer

Thank you very, very much! I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

Submitted

Nepenthe again...YEAH. Loved how you used the lines "glass and lies"

Developer

Thank you! I'm very glad you enjoyed the story.

Submitted

This was really compelling! Great characterization, and it leaves me wanting more.

There were a few places where the prose tripped me up, and I had to go back and reread a few times to understand what was meant. But they were few, and nothing a bit of extra time couldn't have solved!

Lovely prose, over all. I really liked the bit at the village, where Nepenthe "invited them all in". It was an unexpected-but-inevitable moment, turning an invitation into the village on its head. Well done!

Developer

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I am trying to work on clarity in my prose - if it's not a bother, where specifically did the writing give you trouble?

Submitted

No trouble at all! One part I recall specifically was toward the end, where the boy Tyrin comes out of the book to help. Nepenthe says to him, "There's no writing you back in, if you're destroyed like this." But then she proceeds to write him back him. My initial reading was "there's no writing you back in, if you are destroyed, like this (as you are currently destroyed)." It took me a minute to realize she meant that if he is destroyed while he is out of the book, he cannot be written back in.

The second paragraph gave me pause as well, where she goes to the destroyed village. I think I probably just read it too quickly, because when I read the last sentence ("Nepenthe invited them all in.") I did a double take because I imagined in my head, Nepenthe inviting them all *into the village*. But as I said in my review, I really, really like that last sentence; I think I just needed to slow down. :)

Developer

Thanks very much - I appreciate it. I was struggling with how to keep things brief while describing the villa and moving the action there, so don't put it all on your speed reading! :) I appreciate the feedback - thanks again!

Submitted

Really outstanding job in Nepenthe's characterization. I'd love to see more of her in a proper long form work.

Developer

Thank you. I'm quite sure Nepenthe isn't finished with me!