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A jam submission

Just Another Day OPR Writing Jam 11View project page

Short story for writing jam 11
Submitted by tgills — 18 hours, 14 minutes before the deadline
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Play book

Just Another Day OPR Writing Jam 11's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Adherence to Theme#183.4883.579
Overall#363.1293.211
Flow & Clarity#372.8212.895
Concepts & Originality#463.0783.158

Ranked from 19 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted

Good stuff, appreciated the sense of urgency.

Submitted

The flow of the writing is really rough. The constant short sentences and repetitiveness of "noun did verb" lines was really distracting. The theme also felt like it could've been more clever. But the setting and the battle itself were fun. The flow may have been rough but the overall pacing was fine and it wasn't actually a hard read!

Submitted

Nice write-up and take on marauders that I haven't read before on these jams!

Submitted(+1)

I enjoyed the chaos-orcs. They were fun. I also enjoyed how you wrote the DAO being dependent on AI and when it fails how they panic. It makes a lot of sense and is a good addition.

Developer

Thanks, that’s what I was going for👍