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A jam submission

Art's Ambition - OPR Writing Jam #10View project page

Submitted by Lzaeh — 2 hours, 48 minutes before the deadline
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Play book

Art's Ambition - OPR Writing Jam #10's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Concepts & Originality#293.8033.958
Adherence to Theme#572.7622.875
Overall#573.0163.139
Flow & Clarity#602.4822.583

Ranked from 24 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted(+2)

I really enjoyed this one - it's a fantastic concept and you executed it well. There are sections where you can't quite keep up with the flow you've established and the flow starts to stumble, but I respect every shot this story takes even if a few of them miss.

Submitted(+2)

I particularly liked the way the daemon in the shop is depicted — this notion of the brain somehow subconsciously noticing that there's something not quite matching up between reality and perception gives the scene a fittingly uncanny atmosphere.

Submitted(+1)

A very interesting piece, although style and theme are not as strong as the concept.

Submitted(+2)

A very grotesque and grimdark story.  you wrote imagery very well and there were many descriptions that I could almost see.

Submitted(+1)

I such a huge sap for this level of woodcraft! It dragged a little in the 2nd quarter and I didn't quite follow the literal events, but I'm in love with the twist and the immersion and poetic-ness of it all

Submitted(+1)

Interesting concept... Kinda hard to tell what race/faction the narrator was from. Love the first person perspective!

Submitted(+2)

Tbf, I don't really feel like the narrator's species or affiliation is particularly relevant.

Submitted(+1)

Struggled with some of the word flow here and there, but I like that this tale was a different take on the suffering artist and how it led down the road to the twist ending. Some good imagery and foreshadowing too.