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A jam submission

Snap Back (featuring RatchetM's Captain Magma)View project page

Ydrys, Duain and Magma turn a different table...
Submitted by HewJaxTheLivingFranchise — 7 hours, 40 minutes before the deadline
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Snap Back (featuring RatchetM's Captain Magma)'s itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Concepts & Originality#313.7633.917
Flow & Clarity#353.4033.542
Overall#413.3493.486
Adherence to Theme#562.8823.000

Ranked from 24 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted

Fun story! Love a great not so bad guy tale!

Submitted(+1)

This was a really fun take on the gallows-rescue trope! It didn't really tackle the theme head on, but honestly, I prefer the ambiguity of the crimes. 

Submitted(+1)

As others have said, it seems there is context to this Captain Magma fellow and his exploits that would help me understand the significance & consequences of these events. But it was fun to read nonetheless. Certainly had me intrigued to read more about the character.

Submitted(+1)

I really enjoyed the worldbuilding of this story. There is a nice contrast between the grungy city and the governor and the golden lions. I really liked the diversity of battle brothers and their dementor. 

Submitted(+1)

I had a fun time reading this story, and despite occasional stutters the story (and especially the banter) flowed well. I do feel a little disconnected from the story unless I go back to previous jams and seek out the previous Captain Magma stories - I think the trial setting would have provided a good opportunity to go into a small amount of additional detail about the Fire Snappers' "crimes" and give the context this story really needs to stand alone.

Submitted

While I enjoyed the quips and unexpectedly jovial tone of the story, I fear that I'm wanting for context that the story is ultimately unable to provide. Rather than reading a short story, I feel like I'm instead reading an excerpt from a larger work, which creates a jarring story that ends abruptly without any sort of climax or actual story having occurred within it.

Submitted(+1)

Awesomely told! Colorful characters, cutting sarcasm, and a  show of how sometimes it just doesn't pay to be clever.