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A jam submission

Failing to SucceedView project page

GE Marsh - In the Grimdark Future What is the Consequence of Logic?
Submitted by Hobby Fuzion — 17 hours, 25 minutes before the deadline
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Play book

Failing to Succeed's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Concepts & Originality#343.6833.833
Flow & Clarity#403.2833.417
Overall#433.3233.458
Adherence to Theme#503.0023.125

Ranked from 24 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted

Loved the take on the lore and the writing of this story. Well done 👍 

Submitted

I really enjoyed the writing of the story.  It was very controlled and consistent slowly adding details right up to the climax. I also really like how to portrayed the DAO. 

Submitted

I liked this. A decent enough divergence from the army it proxies, that I feels adds to the lore in a way that doesn't break it.

Submitted

Good entry!

Submitted(+2)

You did a great job of working in some detail to flesh out the DAOU as a faction - in particular, I thought the bit about how they won't trust footage from an automated drone without an organic eye to verify it was a brilliant idea that fits perfectly with what we know about them. I couldn't help but feel a little let down by the ending, though; it felt like I'd just read the start of a much longer story rather than a complete shorter story.

DeveloperSubmitted(+1)

Yeah the word limit started working against what I wanted to tell this time, so had to rely too much on implied action, especially near the end (like the mother comment, it has a much deeper layered nuance, but ran afoul of editing), but I appreciate your notes and maybe I can work something as a sequel/prequel in the future (I originally started from the Alien Hive POV LOL) 

Submitted(+1)

great twist on who’s working behind the scenes!