Play book
Failing to Succeed's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Concepts & Originality | #34 | 3.683 | 3.833 |
| Flow & Clarity | #40 | 3.283 | 3.417 |
| Overall | #43 | 3.323 | 3.458 |
| Adherence to Theme | #50 | 3.002 | 3.125 |
Ranked from 24 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
Loved the take on the lore and the writing of this story. Well done 👍
I really enjoyed the writing of the story. It was very controlled and consistent slowly adding details right up to the climax. I also really like how to portrayed the DAO.
I liked this. A decent enough divergence from the army it proxies, that I feels adds to the lore in a way that doesn't break it.
Good entry!
You did a great job of working in some detail to flesh out the DAOU as a faction - in particular, I thought the bit about how they won't trust footage from an automated drone without an organic eye to verify it was a brilliant idea that fits perfectly with what we know about them. I couldn't help but feel a little let down by the ending, though; it felt like I'd just read the start of a much longer story rather than a complete shorter story.
Yeah the word limit started working against what I wanted to tell this time, so had to rely too much on implied action, especially near the end (like the mother comment, it has a much deeper layered nuance, but ran afoul of editing), but I appreciate your notes and maybe I can work something as a sequel/prequel in the future (I originally started from the Alien Hive POV LOL)
great twist on who’s working behind the scenes!