There is so much going on in this adventure, it feels more like a campaign. It would probably be better if you focused on a smaller area and 2-3 of the factions. 

Also, the background images obliterate my ability to read the text.

I quite liked how you presented the Random Encounters table and the dungeon flow charts.

I definitely understand trying to save space with the limits of the game jam, but some of the text is a bit difficult to read overlaid over the images and the font would benefit from being a few sizes bigger. I really liked the cover as well as the image on page 12.

The Moonfire Moths and String Bonds were both good ideas with interesting mechanics. There is a lot to try and keep track of as a GM but there's also a lot of useful content.

The LP system is very intriguing, and the theme is surprisingly rich! My suggestion would be to trim descriptions to be evocative rather than enumerative. Specially in a setting like this one, where the subjective is so important :)

I would also strongly suggest to be more eager to cut things out in service of usability, sometimes when we’re open to leaving things out we find out that we can reframe some things even better.

Having the PCs have life purposes that start draining instead of inventory slots is a nice twist that really shows how versatile the system is. The adventure seems like quite the deep dive, lot of content!

My suggestion would be to improve the readability, the font is small and the contrast not always very readable. I appreciate the content warning!

There is a truly mind boggling amount of text fit into the page count, a feat in itself. I'd be very interested in the greater setting this module hints at. Where do the meaning pilgrims hail from? Seems like it would be just as interesting to explore those loose thread as it is to explore these hexes. 

Very creative, but waaay too much text. I love the idea of exploring a weird, philosophical-themed demiplane, but I would have trimmed down the description of each hex to half the length, or less. And maybe just eliminate some, too. I only say this because I see a great deal of passion and creativity here, but I don't think it works in this format.