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Evanescent Eclipse's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| UI Design | #4 | 4.091 | 4.091 |
| Usage of Theme | #7 | 3.545 | 3.545 |
| Overall | #8 | 3.545 | 3.545 |
| Gameplay/Usage of the medium | #9 | 3.273 | 3.273 |
| Story & Plot | #12 | 3.273 | 3.273 |
Ranked from 11 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Team Members
nikkefort
Program
Twine
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Comments
This game has an interesting story and just like all the other guys who have played it, I would love to see its further development!
Fascinating premise! I would love to see this story develop further and what other perspectives can be found in "The Moon" path. I thought the writing here was nice despite the time restrictions, though I would also agree that more development of the relationship between the main characters would be great to see. That said, I know that's difficult to do in the face of a deadline, and I'm excited to see what comes next for this game!
Hi hi hello hiii! I love the concept behind your story—I'm very much a sucker for this kind of relationship. I just wished the relationship between Sol and Luna was explored a bit more. While I was rooting for them, the chemistry between them felt a bit weak. An extra scene or two building on their relationship would help a lot, because it went by a little too fast. I understand it's supposed to be short, but the relationship was the main draw for me, and I wanted more of that!
I don't mind the story being a bit rough, but a transition between scenes would be nice. The time skips can be a bit jarring at times. Anyway, the UI is very cute and well-designed too, so good job with that!
I'm not sure if you wanted feedback on the endings so I'll hold off on that (let me know if you do), but I'm definitely looking forward to see Luna's side of things!
Hello! Thank you so much for your interest in the story and for your feedback!
If you think that their relationship was rushed, I'm very much open to adding more interactions between Sol and Luna! But adding more scenes between them is something that I'll work on last, probably, since there are other more pressing matters that need to be changed.
And I'm definitely going to do something with the time skips (maybe adding something like "Later that day"), and I'll see what I can do so that scenes don't end abruptly.
As for endings, I already have some plans to change them somewhat: expand on them and make them more of "show don't tell", plus I want to add one small scene with the spouse. If you have something else to add to that, I'll be happy to read about it!
Whoops, very sorry for the late reply!
The only real problem I had with the ending was that staying with Luna was disappointing. There wasn't much build up to it, but I was more upset with the fact that it went in a different direction than I expected. I understand not having a totally happy ending, but if this was your intention with the themes, I think it could be communicated better. Because I'm thinking, what was all the special connection about if it's just gonna end this way?
The other ending was much better. I think more time with the spouse could be nice, but I think going back to Luna for a visit while noticing that something is off in the forest (or maybe meeting Luna's guardian?) might be a better cliffhanger since the hopeful thing for this ending is a bit too unlikely.
Anyway, I'm not sure if my ramblings are of any help, but I just really liked your story! :3
No worries about the late reply and thank you for taking your time to write this!
Your words actually made me want to add a plot point\an additional scene to the endings that I previously scrapped (mostly because of time)... I have hopes that it might help with some problems you listed, but if not, at the very least it might make endings more complete.
Outside of that, I'm not completely sure if the rewrite of the endings will solve all problems, but I'll keep in mind what you said so that I might fix this in other ways.
Thank you yet again for your interest in this story, and your comments are very helpful! <3
The game is so freaking pretty! The way the animation looks is so flawless. I feel super jealous of seeing an UI like this.
Anyway, the story was short and sweet. Though I am a bit confused about the age of the characters. From the writing, it seems like they are both children (I'd say around 10-12 or so), but there is an arrange marriage happening within a week? Or did the story leaped a decade or so between Sol meeting Luna? That seemed a bit peculiar to me.
There were a few instances of typos/grammatical errors and some little issue with the code. ("I love you, please don't leave me alone."\"Don't leave me alone, please!") appeared as is on the screen (I think you prob wanted to code that?). $sun.coloreyes didn't show a value to me, just the variable name. "You should stop meeting them," appeared even though I didn't tell my parents about Luna. (did I miss something? Did Sol mention it at one point anyway?).
This was a nice short game :) Thank you for creating it!
Thank you so much for the kind words!
You're right that the characters were children at the start of the story, but then there was a time skip that isn't as obvious as I hoped it would be. I'll see if I can make it more apparent.
I haven't had much time to properly edit the text (and even if I had more time I'm sure I would not see all errors), so I'm sorry for the grammatical mistakes\typos and I hope that they weren't too jarring!
And thank you for bringing up the coding issues! I only knew about $sun.coloreyes, so the rest is new to me. And unfortunately the "You should stop meeting them," showing up when you didn't tell about Luna is a "bug" too (well, if me forgetting to code it in counts as a bug) - there should have been a slightly different dialog with parents.
Thank you for checking out the game and leaving the feedback! I greatly appreciate it~
no pb. glad i could help!
Fantastic UI design!