i finished this VN a few hours ago, and i can't stop thinking about it.

i'm not a trans woman, but i am an AFAB nonbinary person who has had relationships with cis people, and one cis person -- an ex-friend -- in particular was brought to the forefront of my mind as the story unfolded.

this game resonated with me in a way very few pieces of media ever have, probably will ever have, and i'm so thankful that you made it. you've recreated the exact same emotion i felt two years ago with the added intensity only time and retrospection can.

some background and internet oversharing lol:

as we find out just how ivy views dahlia, how she truly views dahlia , i was reminded of the ex-friend (a cis man) i had who quickly caught feelings for me after i had helped him in a time of crisis. we became fast friends. trauma-bonded and whatnot. it also helped that we shared similar interests, and that he was just as down to listen to me ramble about niche interests as i was to listen to his thoughts.

when i told him that i'm nonbinary, with a strong preference for women and other enbies, he seemed alright -- even supportive of me. he joked about how he had no chance with me, especially after i listed some men that i did find attractive. i chose to ignore the pit in my stomach when he said that, covid was an isolating time, and making friends was hard for me as a weird, depressive college sophomore.

there was a specific thing he told me that has stuck with me forever, even after he had cut contact with me. he would often joke about how he was "gay" for me (i guess i just have that effect on people lmao), but then, on january 2nd of 2024, he once again told me that he often found himself "gay for me" and that he loved me romantically. even after telling him i wasn't attracted to him, and that i was questioning whether or not i was even attracted to men anymore, he still held these feelings for me that he couldn't shake, and i felt sick to my stomach. i always felt like he never meant it as anything more than something that would make me warm up to him, and maybe even want him.

we didn't remain friends for long, and it's been over a year now since we last interacted. i miss him sometimes and hope he's doing well, but i'm also glad we don't speak anymore. i'm glad that i managed to let this relationship pass me. i'm glad i could do what dahlia didn't.

this VN asks the same question i wish i asked him.

do you see me?