The writer's education didn't encompass all the aspects of writing and vocabulary that were needed. Other than that, it is very good. Also, their knowledge of military rates, ranks and general terminology is lacking. They really need the help of a person with naval experience.

Like Star Trek; I personally would have went with naval jargon: Starboard for right, port for left, deck for floor, compartment for room, rack for bed, mess deck(s) for kitchen and dining area, overhead for ceiling, bulkhead for wall, etc. 

Weapons in a "parked" position? Wrong. Weapons aren't cars. Weapons are secured or in the secure position. Those are the correct ways to say it. Weapons can also be stowed in certain instances.

Lesson #1: An implosion cannot result in an explosion. The Earth imploding and then exploding would never have happened. It would either explode or implode. 

A planet exploding or imploding does not generally create an asteroid belt. In the case of an explosion, the debris would scatter and there would not be enough rubble and detritus to create one.

Why use the Japanese word "neko"? I would have made up my own name for a humanoid feline race. "Neko" is overused enough as it is. Not only that, neko is also a word originating from Earth. It makes no sense for an alien species to have identical nomenclature. I also find it strange that the space kitties have earth names. 

Valerie has small boobs? This is what happens when a guy gets desensitized by seeing gigantic jugs too often. Val's bust is actually medium-sized and quite nice, in my humble opinion. 

The writer does not know the difference between affect and effect. "Their weapons did not affect our shields." "Their weapons had no effect on our shields." <- This is how they should be used.

Disharmed? I believe it is written "disarmed." All of Pantheria IS (not: are) celebrating WITH US. (not: this situation).  

When I was writing science fiction and fantasy in high school over 40 years ago, I was corrected for using busted instead of broken. To this day, it still feels wrong to use the word "busted." 

Chef Amanda being referred to as a "captain" is wrong. There can only be one captain on a ship. She should be a chief or an ensign, a lieutenant, maybe even a lieutenant commander.

The word "stuff" is not a good substitute for "things" or "that." "Stuff" is a word that kids use. Thighes is not a word. Thighs is a word.

The MC doesn't seem like the type of person to say f**k.    

It isn't called a 'loud hailer'. It's called an intercom or a loudspeaker.

It is spelled claustrophobic, not clostrophobic. Like Santa Claus.

A Back to the Future reference? 1.21 gigawatts of power and a frequency of 1.21 gigahertz. 

I recommend vector shielding. The ability to concentrate much denser shielding to a smaller area. Predictive vector shielding to counter more powerful energy and projectile weaponry.

What I have written may seem harsh, this AVN is great, is spite of its flaws.