Your writing has only improved with time. However, I do not know if visual novel particularly romance visual novel is the suitable medium for the story. The characters are fantastic and the writing in this sequel is focused much more on their interactions this however meant that the role of the player, while acknowledged interestingly with Jeff and Pader is lessened. That is a long way to say I was often frustrated with the lack of autonomy given to the player, more than the last game it felt as if we were entirely a voyeur. This especially smarts with how the player is blamed for the suffering of the characters. In ways it makes sense with the themes of hoplessness and being trapped in a game that makes suffering the point. But we don't get to express that.  We're also even more pathetic when it comes to waltzing to our deaths just endlessly overpowered when I would like to be able to fight back.There's also only one route which really fits with the romance part of the "dating sim" genre and while I love Varai it does reinforce that this could have been better suited for a book or comic.