This is a chapter one so I'll be nice to it, it was will made and everything worked perfectly. It also has nice and creative design and has a very nostalgic feel.

One of my Three main problems is that while each scene is clear on what it is, there is no real clarity on what is and isn't interactable. This is minor but notable. Idk if it's possible to have that detail clarity in this style.

Second is that it's a slow start and it funnily enough has the same stilted character voice and slow start as the work that inspires it and having maybe less reason for it's primes. Robert Jordan's Male Isodie went insane by using their power which is why they were dangerous. There are things to fix in Roberts magic but stripping the sole reason men were stripped of their magic is not on of those fixes. It leans farther into the problems actually suggesting that just cause the men have magic they'll just start ware cause ya know they're MEN and all.

Third is the stilted character voice and jank dialogue. Dialogue feels unnatural and nobody has a clear voice. Maybe this is because of the quick timeline of the chapter but there's nothing to say about it other than it's bad. It's a writing problem  and hope it gets better farther on.