part 2, because i still need to talk about the OTHER parts of Arc 4!
alright you know what time it is, i had to get my grubby lil hands ALL OVER more crumbs about After-Prom AND BOY OH BOY
look i know it's gidget's route but you KNOW i'm all about genzou and orlam's bullshit, MORE HINTS, that something happened there. gidget saying that genzou?? summoned orlam? god, the fact that genzou like. genzou shoves orlam's face into his crotch. which first off!!! fuckin rude my guy! second, "all he had to do was ask"
ouch. pls tell me that's not how it happened.
here's my theory, they for sure had sex. they were intimate of some kind. genzou mentions something about orlam 'getting whatever he wants' and from that, it insinuates that orlam had taken advantage of genzou's drunken state. and i can't say that it's not true...i do think orlam had taken the plunge with genzou and didn't think too deeply on the fact that genzou was too drunk to haev a clear mind for consent. but, i feel like that lays too much responsibility at orlam's feet and none at genzou's for how things ended up that way. i have an inkling that genzou used orlam just as much and he's just. too ashamed and disgusted with himself, and orlam to admit it. because orlam is his punching bag, his whipping boy and he's not who he /really/ wants.
which is uh, a messy situation all around.
like, can we PLEASE talk about that lil dialogue with Orlam during the. you know the scene, the genzou meal reveal with the "reprise our roles as heartbroken drunk and hopeless hopeful" like, genuinely what was all THAT about, it sorta gets swept away in the wake of "Gidget prays the ace away with some drugs and almost-nono touching" to the extreme.
which btw was highly upsetting, that was like. at that point i was glad bucks interrupted because if it'd continue any longer, there's no way gidget could've come back from that. which almost feels INSANE to say considering the cannibalism, the murder, the general lack of sexual boundaries
And finally, i guess, on that special note! i just wanted to highlight how special it was to have an asexual protagonist like Iggy. Especially when he's kinda had a way different experience than I did growing up?? Iggy doesn't have the knowledge or the words to describe it, but he knows he's different, but he's never seemed to truly examine that side of himself before. like maybe it was uncomfortable to think about or he was ashamed. he has a large amount of insecurity of not finding someone who could accept him despite not wanting the sexual aspects of a romantic relationship.
i knew i was asexual pretty early in my teens. but i was never really ashamed of it, or felt as if there was something 'wrong' with me or had the same insecurities of being different or broken, or that i felt like if i just waited, then maybe i would feel differently when i got older. i was 13 i think, and i accepted it pretty readily. and i guess...? it just. never occurred to me that this was weird or that i should want that with people.
and idk, it's interesting to see just how iggy deals with it, and views things, because some of it, i recognize and resonate with, and others that i do not. especially because iggy's sex repulsed. which i relate to, to an extent but also don't because i'm rather sex neutral leaning sex positive!
whenever iggy has to face the reality of touching bodies in any way that feels too intimate, he breaks out into a cold sweat, and i find that interesting because i was never like. uncomfortably aware of other people's bodies in that way, or conscious of touching someone intimately. i mean that might be because iggy also has a much firmer grasp of physical boundaries than i do because i do rather like hugs and cuddles with loved ones.
but i DO understand the experience of the uncomfortable possibility of like. someone being conscious of ME in that way?? like facing the possibility that someone might see me romantically that would then lead to sexually and i would have to withdraw. that fear that someone wants me, and i cannot give them what they want. that is uncomfortably familiar lol
and....and well. i guess that's my thoughts on Arc 4? i think i covered all of it. I'm eagerly awaiting Arc 5 and finally, FINALLY knowing what the fuck is bucks' deal and why we were all called to Wonderland