Hey there. I'm not entirely sure what to put here, nor do I have the words to describe what I'm feeling but I think you made something special and I'm glad that you shared it with us.
There's a lot of regret here, processing hurt and self-reflection of character. And ultimately about recovery and moving on. Which is natural in the wake of a personal tragedy of such a violent nature, but I think you conveyed those very well, in our protagonist's inner thoughts, the things he's said and done, and also the things he hadn't