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part 2, because i still need to talk about the OTHER parts of Arc 4!

alright you know what time it is, i had to get my grubby lil hands ALL OVER more crumbs about After-Prom AND BOY OH BOY

look i know it's gidget's route but you KNOW i'm all about genzou and orlam's bullshit, MORE HINTS, that something happened there. gidget saying that genzou?? summoned orlam? god, the fact that genzou like. genzou shoves orlam's face into his crotch. which first off!!! fuckin rude my guy! second, "all he had to do was ask"

ouch. pls tell me that's not how it happened.

here's my theory, they for sure had sex. they were intimate of some kind. genzou mentions something about orlam 'getting whatever he wants' and from that, it insinuates that orlam had taken advantage of genzou's drunken state. and i can't say that it's not true...i do think orlam had taken the plunge with genzou and didn't think too deeply on the fact that genzou was too drunk to haev a clear mind for consent. but, i feel like that lays too much responsibility at orlam's feet and none at genzou's for how things ended up that way. i have an inkling that genzou used orlam just as much and he's just. too ashamed and disgusted with himself, and orlam to admit it. because orlam is his punching bag, his whipping boy and he's not who he /really/ wants.

which is uh, a messy situation all around.

like, can we PLEASE talk about that lil dialogue with Orlam during the. you know the scene, the genzou meal reveal with the "reprise our roles as heartbroken drunk and hopeless hopeful" like, genuinely what was all THAT about, it sorta gets swept away in the wake of "Gidget prays the ace away with some drugs and almost-nono touching" to the extreme.

which btw was highly upsetting, that was like. at that point i was glad bucks interrupted because if it'd continue any longer, there's no way gidget could've come back from that. which almost feels INSANE to say considering the cannibalism, the murder, the general lack of sexual boundaries

And finally, i guess, on that special note! i just wanted to highlight how special it was to have an asexual protagonist like Iggy. Especially when he's kinda had a way different experience than I did growing up??  Iggy doesn't have the knowledge or the words to describe it, but he knows he's different, but he's never seemed to truly examine that side of himself before. like maybe it was uncomfortable to think about or he was ashamed. he has a large amount of insecurity of not finding someone who could accept him despite not wanting the sexual aspects of a romantic relationship.

 i knew i was asexual pretty early in my teens. but i was never really ashamed of it, or felt as if there was something 'wrong' with me or had the same insecurities of being different or broken, or that i felt like if i just waited, then maybe i would feel differently when i got older. i was 13 i think, and i accepted it pretty readily. and i guess...? it just. never occurred to me that this was weird or that i should want that with people.

and idk, it's interesting to see just how iggy deals with it, and views things, because some of it, i recognize and resonate with, and others that i do not. especially because iggy's sex repulsed. which i relate to, to an extent but also don't because i'm rather sex neutral leaning sex positive!

whenever iggy has to face the reality of touching bodies in any way that feels too intimate, he breaks out into a cold sweat, and i find that interesting because i was never like. uncomfortably aware of other people's bodies in that way, or conscious of touching someone intimately. i mean that might be because iggy also has a much firmer grasp of physical boundaries than i do because i do rather like hugs and cuddles with loved ones.

but i DO understand the experience of the uncomfortable possibility of like. someone being conscious of ME in that way?? like facing the possibility that someone might see me romantically that would then lead to sexually and i would have to withdraw. that fear that someone wants me, and i cannot give them what they want. that is uncomfortably familiar lol

and....and well. i guess that's my thoughts on Arc 4? i think i covered all of it. I'm eagerly awaiting Arc 5 and finally, FINALLY knowing what the fuck is bucks' deal and why we were all called to Wonderland

I DON'T BLAME YOU THAT'S A LOT TO TAKE IN IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME ALDFKJALSDKF Glad you are happy to return to it tho LOL I feel like this arc is definitely the most intense of them all,,, 💦 Always so happy to read your thoughts though!! They always make me re-analyze so much of my own stuff HAHAH

"And that's obviously the point lol because not even gidget really knows who she is!" --> That's such a great point. For so much of Gidget's life, they've put on an act of what they think those around them would prefer or like or what would make them feel more welcome (or in Iggy's case, what would get his attention/attraction). This is such a big reason why I feel like before any healthy relationship could happen between them Gidget needs to do some deep introspection and figure out things about themselves first—otherwise, their entire relationship will always be built on this fake reality,,,

"obviously since she worked to fix herself, iggy should be willing to fix himself too right???" --> Somebody else brought up this correlation too just a little bit ago and it feels so on the money, even tho I'm not sure myself if I consciously was thinking about that when I wrote things (I'm actually quite bad when it comes to not noticing sometimes very obvious things in my own writing dkaflsjd) But indeed that whole scene was,,, really tough for me to write. A lot of Arc 4 in general was, but that scene in particular.

"Cecil was an interesting new addition that i was not expecting" --> Really interested hearing your thoughts on Cecil 🤭 He's a character that kinda came out of nowhere while developing the game and now I have no idea how I could have ever made it without him, he's become quite Important™ Then again this game and characters have already surprised me in so many ways that I'm no longer surprised to be surprised.

"but gidget's not ready to hear it " --> y-yes,,,,,,,, 💦

"look i know it's gidget's route but you KNOW i'm all about genzou and orlam's bullshit" --> LOL I AM UNSURPRISED. Though indeed I feel like despite this being Gidget's route, in the end, it turned out to be a very intense and monumental route for all three of them since it really acts as the climax for the middle arcs, so it needs to push all of them past what they've experienced before and most of the build-up needs to be laid out on the table to prepare for the finale in Arc 5,,, ANYWAY. I am very intrigued and 👀 about all your thoughts. Admittedly, I don't really want to say too much in response given that Arc 5 is still to come and I also want to leave some of,,, well, EVERYthing about this game up to some interpretation. I feel like that's a lot more fun and interesting. Especially since this will always be a story told from Iggy's perspective, who obviously doesn't see everything that's going on beneath the surface. But yes, it is indeed "a messy situation all around" as you put it. For everyone involved alkdjfald

"reprise our roles as heartbroken drunk and hopeless hopeful" --> I AM EXTREMELY PROUD OF THIS LINE ALDKJFALSDKF I actually quite enjoy how Orlam's whole little monologue turned out in that part,,,

"i just wanted to highlight how special it was to have an asexual protagonist like Iggy. " --> Oh gosh, thank you so much for sharing your own thoughts and feelings?? 🥺 It's really interesting for me to hear the ways you both relate and don't relate. From my own perspective, being ace was something I found out relatively late in life after many years of not understanding why I couldn't seem to find someone, why I kept backing off as soon as I felt someone was getting too close too fast, and only after a Quite Horrible experience and some subsequent advice come to realize "oh,,,,,,,, I guess that's why." So a lot of those feelings of being lost and feeling broken without knowing why got translated into Iggy and his responses—along with probably my inner desires of wanting to be completely and wholly accepted by someone. But I know that all aces have their own different experiences of figuring themselves out or even just already knowing and never really questioning it. I know that not all aces will be able to relate to all the things Iggy experiences, but I hope there will be at least some parts others can see themselves in. Tbh sometimes I feel like this entire game has turned into a tragic play of all the things I wish I could have figured out about myself much earlier in life and how trying to navigate everything without that knowledge can make you feel really lost and screwed up. It perhaps wasn't the game I set out to make—but it's the game it seems to have become LOL 🤣💦 At any rate, thank you so much for sharing all that about yourself, it really means a lot to hear your thoughts and the ways you can personal relate (or not). I'm always incredibly interested in general hearing thoughts from other ace people regarding the game.

"but i DO understand the experience of the uncomfortable possibility of like. someone being conscious of ME in that way??" --> THIS SO MUCH.

OK, this comment is getting quite long LOL so I'm going to stop rambling and wrap things up. But really thank you so so much for taking all this time—for all four arcs!!—to write up your thoughts. I honestly love getting such detailed interpretations and reactions of the characters and story, whether it's things they like, didn't like, can relate to, can't relate to, or even just the things that Affected them lol It means so much! And I've really loved reading all your comments!! I hope I'll be able to live up to everything I've created so far with the final arc. I feel like my nervousness about this is one of the factors that's slowed down production a bit, as I really want to make sure I do things as well as I can dlkjafsldk Thank you again!!! 🥰