Woah!! This game rules, probably my favorite EVER
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I really liked the fairy tale tone of this, I never knew where it was going next! I was a little confused at times about the narrative through-line. The transitions between the scenes got a bit jarring, which I think added to my confusion about the narrative. I really enjoyed the way you played with talking to different apps, as well as the way you played with Twine itself using timers and false options. There was a lot of really funny stuff in this story, and I really liked the seagull who wanted to sip.
Super interesting work! I've never read Dorian Grey, so I can't really speak to how it compares to the original work, but I definitely enjoyed yours! I think that the character, while written well, got it a little too good in the end? I'm not sure if it was just due to the choices I picked, but after the terrible things he did I didn't feel like he really deserved a happy ending? I was a little confused about Dorian's initial relationship to the painting and how he became the painting, but the vagueness also worked, since it kept me interested! Great job!
I really love your scenery and the way you evoke it, especially in the use of the word "akimbo". I didn't really get a strong sense of the player character and wasn't given a lot of opportunities to choose from options, so I didn't really feel much like I am her, but more that I was reading about her. It didn't feel like I had much control over the story either, aside from when I chose to stand in front of the butterfly. I did really enjoy your interpretation of the characters, and would've loved to see them do some truly wild, outlandish stuff. It really reminds me of Jan Svankmajer's Alice
I definitely got a strong sense of setting, and I'm super excited to see how you finish this project! Great job so far!
This game was incredibly compelling, kudos for making Moby Dick readable :P I love the mystery of this, and the fact that it never really gets solved. Reminds me heavily of Life of Pi as well as this game by Porpentine. The imagery you used for Moby Dick and the scenery evokes your story in a great way, I had a great time reading it! You did a great job playing with narration and perspective, I really felt that twist.
If I had to nitpick, I'd say to make the viewbox a little shorter so it fit on the screen, but otherwise this was a really fantastic read. Great job!!
This game was super great, the story was very compelling and the tone was well composed. I loved how visceral it was, especially the sympathetic moment with the monster in the mountains. I believe this story could have been made a bit tighter with some truncation. There was a lot of movement that didn't feel totally necessary, and I caught myself feeling a little lost in between the very strong moments. I did appreciate that you made sure to show, rather than simply tell, the different characters personalities.
Great job! Can't wait to see this finished!
I really enjoyed the premise of this game, but would love to see the characters and setting fleshed out a little more. I was hooked from the beginning and I'd really like to see how being a cyborg affects Tink's life, or what the world looks like outside their hideout. I didn't really get a good feel for the stakes outside of Tink saying the Lost Boys were looking for immortality.
I really like the way you set this up a bit like a classic adventure game, the scores especially were a nice touch. I wasn't 100% sure what they meant, and wish I knew what they were out of, but it did really add to the experience.
Overall, great job! I can't wait to see how you finish this up!
This was such a fun jaunt!! I could tell you had a ton of fun writing this. You have a great command of tone and a great sense of humor and it really shows!! I always picked the most wild options, thinking they wouldn't work, but was pleasantly surprised to find that they worked! Really loved being Arsene Lupin, the narration really sold it for me.
The only real criticism I have is that stark white on stark black gave me a little bit of eye strain, and I would've preferred a dark blue, but otherwise this was great! Good job!!
So far this is really excellent! I really love the world you've created, I could really see it in my imagination. The focus on both familial love and action really evoked the Hercules story for me, great job on that! I think it might have been easier to read if you cut the pages so there were more, shorter pages. Overall, great job, I had a ton of fun reading this -- I caught myself cheering on Hercules during all the action scenes!! I can't wait to see how you finish this!
Wow this was a ton of fun to play through!! I really liked how you played with narration, and the music you picked did great things for the tone. I really got the Homestuck influence without it hitting me over the head, which I really appreciate!
In the future, especially for your thesis, I'd focus on strengthening your character's individual voices. You have a really great, strong narrative voice, but I started to get a little lost in the dialogue. I would really recommend this blog post by Robert Yang that helped me a lot in strengthening my own writing .
I really really loved the beginning of this piece, especially the turnabout when you went from the intense intro straight into a jaunty tune and a silly murder mystery finale. I was hoping to see more of those surprising tone shifts, but it definitely works as it is now! Overall excellent work, and I'm super excited to see what you make in the future!! Great job!!
I really enjoyed playing through this game so far! The concept and narrative style are super interesting. I really appreciated the ability to make choices that weren't directly made by Regular Girl - it led to some really interesting moral dilemmas. I definitely saw potential for tone issues, but no matter what choices I picked, the story still felt very cohesive! I had a very interesting moment where I really wanted to give Regular Girl as many nice things as possible, but it still led to conflict later, which made the story feel very well curated.
If I had to nitpick, I'd like a little more flavor to the world. So far it's very vague, and I'd love some more description to the various settings. It does work as is, though, and it's interesting to use my imagination to fill in the world. I also really like that I can scroll back through the whole story after making choices! As someone who forgets things at the drop of the hat, this was super helpful. Overall this piece is very polished and engaging so far, and I'm super excited to see how you close! Great job!
This was absolutely beautiful and I'm so glad I took the time to play it. The way the player discovers the narrator as they themselves do is absolutely incredible. Thank you so much for creating something so excellent!!
I'm a game design major at RPI, so a lot of my friends went to GDC, but I'm still here! I'm still trying to find my niche a little bit, so I've made quite a few games in different platforms. I'm working on a VR sim right now, but the game I've linked is something I made in Twine last year for class that I'm still proud of.
I worked on Cosmo for the Global Game Jam this year, which was shown at GDC for about ten minutes, so at least I have that. I also most recently worked on WingQuest for a jam on itch that I made in RPGMaker 2003, which was really fun to learn, and I'm super proud of how it looks!! Please check them out, I'd really appreciate it! :V