itch.io

I'd love this. Great atmosphere, good writing, gripping tension... 

If only the typos were corrected and I didn't end up on a blank page with no links after this page:

] You push yourself up on bloody hand and knees.
] The cart lies shattered in the roadway by a stone.
] The horses are long gone.

] I look for the girl.

Review is up:

Rovarsson Licks Ectoplasm - Competitions - The Interactive Fiction Community Forum

Have fun being spooked by the rest of the EctoComp entries!

Best wishes,

Rovarsson

Hi again! I'm back for another dive into the tense and panicked atmosphere of the asylum. So glad that teddy bear didn't eat me...

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--> Looking closer at the teddy bear:

"Probably a well-loved." -> doesn't need the a .

--> In Lola's room:

" Once, the walls were papered with some sort of ornate flower pattern, but the walls are dark with damp and mold." -> No error per se, but the repetition of "the walls" grates a bit. Why not "...but now they are dark..." ?

-->Clicking on the cigarette case in my inventory:

"Monogramed 'Beau Russel' " -> monogrammed

--> On the staff floor landing:

"Old doors hang open, giving on to the little narrow rooms..." -> I think this should be one word: onto

--> Immediately after taking the diamonds:

You rush back up the stairs, through the library, and back to the foyer, waiting for the shoe to drop, but it seems Morben was as good as his word. The front door stands slightly open, and nothing stops you running outside.

It is pitch black. Cold, heavy rain pours from the night sky. It must be well past midnight.

Error: cannot execute macro <<p>>: unable to parse macro argument ""Who cares? You": unterminated double quoted string

 aren't going to have to worry about getting up for work ever again!

--> Waking up in the hospital:

"The Doctor's have no real explanation for why you are there," -> Doctors

--> I got ending 5: "Greed beats Charity". But underneath the afterword it says:

Endings Collected

• 4: Lost to the device

--> When I'm in the Control Booth, the name of the save-file is still "Basement Corridor". That's confusing for when I should want to return to this  choice.

--> I'm very impressed with how you balance this whole game. The panic creeping up with enough triggers to bring it back down a notch. The new weapon appearing just as I lost my second-to-last one, the bottlenecks opening up after the right amount of exploration... Well crafted!

--> I destroyed the Machine! And then I got this message in the Afterword:

Endings Collected

• 4: Lost to the device 

• 6: Error: <<=>>: bad evaluation: Cannot read properties of undefined (reading 'name')

Both of these are wrong:

- I never got ending 4 "Lost to the Device", I got 5 "Greed beats Charity"

-Aside from the error message, my final ending was not 6, but this one:

This is ending 7 of 7

“An end to this horror”

--> I just went back to an earlier save to verify the name of my ending for my previous comment. Clicking through to Credits and the Afterword now gives me this:

Endings Collected

• 4: Lost to the device
• 6: Error: <<=>>: bad evaluation: Cannot read properties of undefined (reading 'name')
• 6: Error: <<=>>: bad evaluation: Cannot read properties of undefined (reading 'name')

--> Of course I had to go in one last time to confirm my suspicions... And indeed, the endings just keep stacking:

Endings Collected

• 4: Lost to the device
• 6: Error: <<=>>: bad evaluation: Cannot read properties of undefined (reading 'name')
• 6: Error: <<=>>: bad evaluation: Cannot read properties of undefined (reading 'name')
• 6: Error: <<=>>: bad evaluation: Cannot read properties of undefined (reading 'name')

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lots of progress. Heading further upstairs now! If I don't come back, come find my ghost. You'll be able to appease it with John Coltrane.

One ending done. I'll go back to do the more heroic thing: leave the diamonds, stay in the house, and try to save the rest of the patients.

Finished.

Thanks for a great game!

None are game-breaking, and none are diminishing my enjoyment of your game. 

I'm deep in this horror atmosphere asylum you've crafted!

Hello architect of this spooky asylum. I only just started investigating and the atmosphere has already thoroughly go me creeped out. (In a good way.)

-----------------------------------------------------------

I found some errors:

--> Just entering the Foyer:

"You are the foyer of the asylum. " ->  in the foyer

--> After running away from the spectral woman:

" If you can free the ghost, maybe you can free youself?" -> yourself

--> In the library, looking closer at the portrait of the woman:

Error: cannot find a closing tag for macro <<first>>

You take a closer look at the painting of the woman in the gown, trying to work out what's wrong with it. The painted silk is covered in patterns, flowers, or circles or …

Eyes! Her gown is covered in eyes, all staring out of the canvas straight at you!

You tentatively rub the surface of the painting, hoping that it's just some sort of visual trick, but the eyes only get clearer. Who would paint this? A patient? The signature in the bottom corner is almost impossible to read, but you think it says Emily — something.

Error: child tag <<finally>> was found outside of a call to its parent macro <<first>>

The eyes stare at you from the faded canvas, just like before. You feel that the whole house is watching you.

Error: cannot find a closing tag for macro <<first>>

--> Looking at the boxes of papers in the Library:

"You assume that the shelves here were once neatly stacked files" -> stacked with files

--> The advertising flyers:

"... a stylized design that looks a little a glowing sun..." -> "looks like a little glowing sun" or "looks a little like a glowing sun"

--> Searching the papers on the floor of the office:

"a faded photograph papercliped to the edge of a page." -> paperclipped

--> Clicking on [Leaf through the old man's file] from Beau Russel's file takes me to the boy Martin Green's file instead.

--> Phew! I feel much safer now that I found myself a towel.

--> Examining the chair in the furnished room upstairs.

There doesn't seem to be anything special about this chair. It was painted white once, but the paint has flaked away to reveal the old brittle wood underneath. You wouldn't trust your weight to it.

It has been placed facing the locked and shuttered window, as if someone often sat staring out of here.

They must have wanted out of this place so badly …

Error: cannot find a closing tag for HTML <p>

You check the seat in case someone hid some letters there, but there's nothing to find.

------------------------------------------------------------

Back to heart-shriveling exploration...

Thank you for a great game and the hours of fun I had with it. (In those hours, I also count the time away from the screen thinking about it and remembering the characters and the mood of the game. And that tense finale!)

My review is up at Rovarsson Licks Ectoplasm - Competitions - The Interactive Fiction Community Forum .

Have fun with the rest of the EctoComp entries, and I hope to see more of your work in the IF genre. In the meanwhile, I'll go check out some of your other games.

Best wishes, 

Rovarsson

Hi again,

I realised that aside from reporting errors and saying I liked the photos and piano, I haven't actually said anything about the game itself.

I like it a lot. The descriptions are short and clear, but they manage to bring across  the mood and tension anyhow. The NPCs I've met so far are intriguing, I'm especially curious to meet Rumualdo again.

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And now I do have some errors to report, or maybe something you didn't have time for before the EctoComp deadline:

--There are some buttons shaped like ribbons on the side of the game-window (which looks like a book, a travel journal; love that aesthetic choice!). The button labeled [ H ] ( for "Help"?) doesn't work. I should add that I'm playing the downloaded version, maybe that makes a difference.

--When talking to the Carabinero: 

"She didn't want to admit her son was dead,..." --> maybe "accept"  would fit better here?

--Talking to Matilda:

"I wouldn't dare to leave you alone at a time like this, and even less with such a servant" *I say joking* --> should be "jokingly"

--In Matilda's story about the "death" of her child, she doesn't once call her baby by its name. That strikes me as very odd, wouldn't a sad and concerned mother use her baby's name?

--In the Baby's Room:

The scissors in the window: "They are sticked into the doorframe " --> stuck into the windowframe, 

--Romualdo's version of the Tue-Tue tale with the farmhand:

"...when an owl that I most possibly alerted..." --> maybe "most probably" or "most likely"would be a better fit?

and a bit later in the same conversation, when Romualdo sees the farmhand at the campfire:

"I remembered what I had told him the previous night." --> But Romualdo was hiding in the bushes listening to the farmhand offer dinner to the owl. The farmer and Romualdo didn't speak to each other. Maybe just "I remembered what had happened the previous night", or "I remembered what I had heard himsay the previous night."  ?

-- Oh! It's a very nice touch that I can have a cup of tea and remember a list of things I should pay attention to. Lovely in-game help!

--It's weird that Amanda's description doesn't change after I've convinced her I'm Matilda's friend. She's still stern and brusque.

--When deciding to hide under the cradle:

"...Camilia should take me where they are keeping the baby hidden." -->This should be Camila , right? Without the i .

--On the path to the Grove, with the Tué-Tué's shadow:

"I sticked the scissors onto the ground" --> stuck the scissors into the ground

--When the housekeeper falls onto the scissors:

"There, right in front of my feet, lied the housekeeper..." --> lay

--Same thing a bit later:

"...the spot where I had sticked the scissors..." --> stuck

--At the altar:

"...a stone altar, where a naked and crying baby lied on top of it." --> lay

FINIS! 

Thanks for your game. I liked it a lot. I'll post a review on the Interactive Fiction Forum (intfiction.org) .

Hi!

I'm playing the English version. I really like the music and the grainy graphics. Nicely evocative of the time-period.

I noticed a small error: when I go up to the deck, the title of the Description screen says "Cabin" .

And now I'll go back to searching for my key. (I swear I'll lose my head someday, instead of just a key!)

Good luck in EctoComp!

EDIT: The arrow in my cabin still says : "Ir al comedor del Alondra." in Spanish. Also, I've noticed that Spanish punctuation (upside down question marks) is still present here and there.

EDIT2: In Ancud, talking to the priest about non-believers: 

"I can't deny their existAnce" -> existEnce

I'll update this post if and when I find any more errors or bugs.

Well thank you, BDB Project. I had a lot of fun with this. Already looking forward to the next two installments.

Small review and transcript to be found at intfiction.com

Bon jeu! J'ai écrit un petit récension sur intfiction.org.

• Meurtre dans la Station Spatiale by MaximeJr 

In the not too distant future, a biotechnologically enhanced judicial registrar puts the protagonist, a newly appointed detective, tot the test by asking his opinion about a notable case in the early beginnings of spatial jurisdiction. While on the ride up to the space station in a space elevator (!coolest thing ever!). Better than softly droning musak, if I may say so…

Through his implants, the registrar can provide all reports in evidence in the case. Careful, meticulous combing through these documents is necessary to form an opinion. In the end, inform the registrar of your judgment.

I liked this. A but dry, but that’s true to the subject matter. Thought-provoking too, with different national space agencies involved, raising questions about jurisdiction in space, power struggles and conflicting interests in space.

A straight-up murder mystery … in space.

Yes, there's a waiting period until you get more privileges and can send PMs. Something to prevent trolling and abuse, I think.

I saw your like under my review and sent you a PM myself.

I wrote some thoughts about your game on intfiction: Puny Seeds - Competitions - The Interactive Fiction Community Forum (intfiction.org). I also have an annotated transcript. Are you signed in with Intfiction.org? I could send it to you in a PM.

Hey! Thanks for responding. 

I will certainly keep an eye out for more work from you. If you want, you could send me a beta version to test when you have something new you want to publish. I wouldn't be any good for correcting the language, but I could play through and send you my thoughts and reactions.

Again: I loved being a guest in Pippa's world.

I really like that your game has an airlock in a scientific research station instead of a spaceship or a submarine.

I'm stuck here:

I'm trying to get the [spoiler]broken camera. UNSCREW CAMERA or SCREWS doesn't work. GET CAMERA WHILE I have the screwdriver in my inventory doesn't either. LOOSEN SCREW also doesn't help[/spoiler].

A little help?

EDIT: solved.

Quatrième! Mes félicitations.

Dans ma liste personelle, ton jeu est troisième. (Concours FI Francophone '23 - Competitions - The Interactive Fiction Community Forum (intfiction.org))

Bonjour Hegemonos. Juste pour dire que pour moi personnellement, Pippa est la "Meilleure Fiction Interactive" du concours. (Concours FI Francophone '23 - Competitions - The Interactive Fiction Community Forum (intfiction.org))

Sur le site intfiction.org, on est deux joueurs (Mathbrush et moi) qui jouent et critiquent les histoires du Concours FI. C'est peut-être cool de voir les reactions des joueurs non-francophone. Moi j'ai lu/joué 13 jeux: Concours FI Francophone '23 - Competitions - The Interactive Fiction Community Forum (intfiction.org). 

J'espère que tu reçoit des bons résultats pour "Retour vers l'extérieur".

Great game. Witty, clever, funny. The writing is nothing short of outstanding.

I wrote a review on IFDB: Deck the Halls, Gieves - Details (ifdb.org)

Un jeu captivant. Atmosphère réellement claustrophobique. Obstacles dûrs mais logiques.

Review IFDB: Retour vers l'extérieur - Details (ifdb.org)

"...regarder l'image de la place nous permet de revenir au début de la boucle."

Ben, on revient toujours dans la nuit. Il faut quand-même attendre jusqu'il devient "Journée" ou "Soirée".

J'ai relu le review et j'ai vu que j'avais oublier d'en mettre mes criticismes et mes suggestions. Je l'ai editer en ajoutant quelques courtes paragraphes vers le fin.

Et j'ai aussi encore une question: est-ce possible d'aider la jeune femmer avec le serment Tattumanti? Je n'ai pas trouver une traversée du jeu qui permet ça.

Quelle plaisir de découvrir "Les Idylles" et ses habitants!  Très mystérieuse histoire.

Review sur IFDB: La harpe du Dieu-Rouge - Details (ifdb.org)

(Est-ce possible qu'il y a un bug dans le système de sauvegarder? Je peut seulement créer un SAVE sur le disque de mon propre ordinateur.)

Sur intfiction.org, il ya deux personnes (moi, évidemment, et Mathbrush) en train de jouer et ecrir des remarques de beaucoup de jeux du Concours. Si tu veux lire ce qu'on pense des autre jeux, tu es vraiment bienvenue de visiter.

C'est peut-ètre cool de voir des gens non-francophone essayer les jeux.

Une histoire captivant. Très bonne incorporation des puzzles et des obstacles.

Une petite review sur IFDB: Deux pages avant la fin du monde - Details (ifdb.org)

Merci pour le jeu!

Un jeu très intéressant. Bonne réprésentation de la dynamique du groupe d'amis.

Petite review sur IFDB: Entre-Deux - Details (ifdb.org)

Mais comme c'est une histoire drôle! J'ai beaucoup ri.

Quelques pensées sur ton jeu sur IFDB: Minigolf et trahisons - Details (ifdb.org)

Rovarsson

Très fort. La charactérisation des personnages (surtout Théo) m'a particulièrement touché.

Review sur IFDB: DOL-OS - Details (ifdb.org)

De rien, et surtout merci a vous. 

C'est un grand plaisir de me laisser emmener dans l'univers imaginaire de quelq'un clairement passioné par le monde et les personages de sa creation.

I would be delighted to examine the murder of the Grand Vizir. I will continue looking for the sequel.

Une monde vraiment original et imaginative! J'espère lire beaucoup plus sur les aventures de Pippa dans la future.

Quelques pensées que j'ai écrit sur intfiction.org:Concours FI Francophone '23 - Competitions - The Interactive Fiction Community Forum (intfiction.org)

Et un review révisée et élargi sur IFDB:Les saisons de Pippa - Details (ifdb.org)

Merci pour me prendre avec dans ton imagination.

Bonne histoire avec des charactères fascinant. Une introduction qui donne envie de lire la suite.

J'ai écri quelques pensées sur intfiction.org: Concours FI Francophone '23 - Competitions - The Interactive Fiction Community Forum (intfiction.org)

Merci pour ce jeu.

Rovarsson

Review élargi sur IFDB: Entre les lignes de feu - Details (ifdb.org)

Très fort. Ton histoire m'a coupé le souffle.

J'ai mis quelques courtes pensées sur intfiction.org (en Anglais).

Rovarsson

J'espère vraiment que tu continue à écrire Archives Culinaire Royales jusqu'a le moment ou ç'est un long jeu complet. J'aimerai tellement vivre plus de temps dans ce monde que tu a creé. J'ai ecrit quelques pensées sur le jeu (pas vraiment un review, cette première chapître est trop court pour ça) sur le site intfiction.org. Concours FI Francophone '23 - Competitions - The Interactive Fiction Community Forum (intfiction.org)

Une magnifique idée: les Archives pour tous les recettes délicieuses!  Je souhaite travailler ici dans la vie réelle! 

Je suis juste en train de me familiariser avec le compendium et j'ai remarqué quelque chose: quand je consulte le compendium par Catégorie, il n'y a aucun réponse pour "Plats principaux". Bug ou pas necessaire?

Rovarsson

Hi,

Beautiful game, both the graphics and the sparse descriptions. Unfortunately, I had to switch to the browser version as the DOS version crashed on me 3 times.

The crashes seem pretty random and never happened twice in the same situation. a) After [spoiler]GET SKIN the first time[/spoiler]; b) After [spoiler]going W from the Rocky Area to the Frozen Well[/spoiler]; c) After [spoiler] EMPTY CAULDRON by the Pyramid [/spoiler].

Rovarsson

Oh but I like this!

Great approach to nudge the author's imagination.

Entirely up to the sprouter. 

To be clear, I personally was thinking of water in the form of urine and manure in the form of... well, shit. But of course, should the hiëroglyphs describe a bloody ritual demanding ingredients of a rather "organic" nature, the donkey may have to give a bit more.