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Congratulations on making these awesome games, and thank you for generously making them freely available!

Thanks for the comments! I agree, tracking time to explosion makes it simpler!

About the difficulty, I played a few times and, when everything goes well, it is possible to complete with over 8 hours remaining (Initially I used 24 hours, then reduced to 20.) I also reduced the max resolve of characters, to increase the risk of them being defeated. However, I really would need more playtesting to fine-tune these parameters.

Thank you for the comments!

I really did not think about using it as an adventure for more players. In this case the existing challenges would work more like guidelines for the game master.

I love the formatting as a medicine leaflet, and the use of the side effects.

Played this once, it was great. I had played Public Access once, so I was familiar with the mechanics, and this is a really effective introduction to the system.

One point I would emphasize in the text is the importance of establishing the consequences of a Risk before you roll. This system can be very immersive, and it is easy to get caught in the narrative, roll, fail and then feel like cheating because you are now establishing the consequences after the fact.

Great adventure. Very good layout and details, and all fitting in a single screen.

I did not find any spots lacking information, I think it would work really well.

This is a cool, good-looking and well-developed one-shot built on top of the 24XX SRD.

I liked how the usual mission prompts were replaced by the generator tables on page 4. This way you get a procedural one-shot that has the same premise (waking up from hypersleep and finding who's with you on the ship) but many different variations.

I am not sure about the advancement rules on a one-shot, but then again, I'm not sure if the 24XX SRD requires the rules text to be kept unchanged.

I like the ideas in this one-shot. The planning and execution of the tasks, mixed with the narrative / journaling should result in an immersive experience. It somehow reminds me of Cargo Commander (probably because of traversing hazardous locations to fetch cargo, and the bleak setting.)

I think it is somewhat unfair to rate legibility and style on what is a prototype / work in progress. Still, here are my comments. I did not have problems understanding the game, obviously there are parts yet to be written to allow it to be completeley playable. The organization of the rules could be changed. For instance, moving the main game loop (page 6) closer to the game overview (page 2) would have been helpful. 

When reading about the longshoremen I imagined they were robots of some kind, but then, the need for breathing apparatus, suits etc. made me unsure. Also, the section about items mentions special requirements, such as coolant systems or large transport vehicles, but there is no indication of what is available or other restrictions on use.

As the one-shot is meant to be system-agnostic, guidelines to adapting the longshoremen skills to a couple of popular sci-fi systems would be helpful.

First of all, congratulations on the style and presentation. The layout and typography are quite similar to classic traveller books and look good.

I did not have any trouble reading or understanding the adventure. Regarding what to cut, there are little bits of information, like the retail outlets of Parfum Dumont, but they are never paragraphs-long and I personally like these small bits and tangents that end up adding to the atmosphere of the setting.

There is one bit of information that was cut short: on the second bullet point of "Investigating the Claims" on page 5, the phrase "Obtaining a location or contact details for Jeanne Marsh is not too complicated: they are" is not concluded. Also, I was not sure if Turleigh was part of the R&D department and, if so, did anyone else there know or were affected by the same problem? Lastly, I expected to have some information on the security of Atelier Parfum Dumont and its surroundings, as players might decide to infiltrate it in their investigation.

I liked the presentation of the relevant NPCs and places, rather than a collection of scenes that might end up railroading the players. This might lead players to go off on tangents away from this one-shot, though. Maybe there could be another incentive to get the players involved.

First of all, congratulations on the style and presentation. The layout and typography are quite similar to classic traveller books and look good.

I did not have any trouble reading or understanding the adventure. Regarding what to cut, there are little bits of information, like the retail outlets of Parfum Dumont, but they are never paragraphs-long and I personally like these small bits and tangents that end up adding to the atmosphere of the setting.

There is one bit of information that was cut short: on the second bullet point of "Investigating the Claims" on page 5, the phrase "Obtaining a location or contact details for Jeanne Marsh is not too complicated: they are" is not concluded. Also, I was not sure if Turleigh was part of the R&D department and, if so, did anyone else there know or were affected by the same problem? Lastly, I expected to have some information on the security of Atelier Parfum Dumont and its surroundings, as players might decide to infiltrate it in their investigation.

I liked the presentation of the relevant NPCs and places, rather than a collection of scenes that might end up railroading the players. This might lead players to go off on tangents away from this one-shot, though. Maybe there could be another incentive to get the players involved.

Love what you did. Concise text, but tells what is needed to play (I still struggle to find what to set in the rules and what to leave open for the players to define), and beautiful presentation too. Also, the way the tower gives structure to the game, but it is not a fixed path, players might iterate several times over it, seems awesome!

Thank you!

I just want to say thank you for this awesome game!