itch.io

This is a really cute game so far! I wish I could play more of it because I can't get into the area on the right - I just get stuck as soon as I enter the scene ;-; I tried a few times by restarting the save and making a completely new game but it didn't work. It feels very well thought out and I can't wait to be able to get to know the characters and see where the story goes after you're able to collect all the items for the counselors. Can't wait to see where this goes! Good job!

This was a fun experience, though a quick explanation of controls, or goals might be necessary. This feels like it could be a successful mobile game where you could add achievements, upgrades (visual and mechanical) for the player to use the gems on, and other gameplay mechanics that could make the player keep on playing. Great job! 

This game is really beautiful and a wonderful experience! It was pretty laggy for me, so playing it was a bit difficult play (i.e. making jumps), but I can tell that this a very well-made game. The art and music look and sound very nice. The gameplay mechanics are very simple, yet rewarding and I would really love to play this game lag-free because it would be an even better experience. Really great work! 

This game has a really intense and well-written story, but sometimes it becomes a bit too much with all of the reading that you have to do. The large paragraphs of text that often occur can be a bit overwhelming for some players and I would recommend breaking them up a bit more to make them more ingestible for the player. The music was wonderfully ambient and kept to the mood of the story very well. When it comes to engaging the player, I would consider more visual elements within the story, even if it's a simple background to change with the various settings or moods, and I would also consider more player choices throughout the story so that the player feels more immersed in this world you've created. Good job!

This is a really great story and engaging experience! I was really invested in the story and the characters' relationships! I had a fun time replaying the game and trying to get the best ending! The UI and overall visual elements were really nice and felt professional. It might just be me, but when the first "booting..." screen came up, I didn't realize that you had to click on the screen to bring you to the next screen and I stared at it for a solid few minutes, so I would suggest possibly making that more obvious. Otherwise, this was a really amazing game experience that felt very well-thought-out, great job!

This is a really great game featuring story-heavy elements. I would suggest, though, separating the large paragraphs of text. These elements are very straining for some players and it sometimes was hard to keep up with what was going on, and keeping some of the characters straight. Even just taking the text that you already have and breaking them up into different sections would help. I would also suggest adding more visual elements to help engage the player into the story, even more, which would be very helpful! Otherwise, it's a fun experience and I had a good time playing through it! Good job!

This a really fun experience and even more fun to replay! The game is very well thought out and it's great to see the possibilities in the variability of gameplay based on your choices. The choices the player has to make, along with the storyline you created really excel at keeping the player engaged and make them want to keep on playing. Keep up the great work! 

First off, some pictures had broken links, but this was a very enjoyable game with great replayability! Although it would have been nice to have completely illustrated images, it was still very engaging to see the sprite characters within the environments. The story was very charming and I think you rounded out each ending very well. Keep up the good work!

Overall, this was a very chilling experience and engaging experience! The visuals are very enjoyable and help to keep the player engaged in the game following the story. It's nice to see you playing with the background to push the narrative and you change the background to fit the emotion of the story when you need to. The story is very intense, and the endings are quite chilling, and although they are vague, I believe the endings are great at provoking curiosity in the player. Good job!

This is a really engaging and rewarding experience so far and has a lot of potential to incorporate more advanced mechanics in the future like an inventory or party system! Start thinking about why your player is in this labyrinth and what they want from it to really incentivize the player more, you can make it subtle so as to create more engagement and curiosity.  Keep up the good work!

This is a really strong start, but you can definitely do more to create a more fleshed-out central theme to your story. I also think it might help to develop these characters a bit more in order to help engage the player more in the story and why they care about returning to the physical/mortal world. I can't wait to see where you go with this story and what you do with the visuals. Keep up the good work!

This is a really fun and engaging experience with all of the paths that you can take! I am interested to see what other paths you could take, or have a longer path to really create a longer experience for the player! As you learn more about what you can do with Twine, I think you could have a lot of fun with some more advanced mechanics in order to create a more engaging game. I'm looking forward to what you decide to do when you start styling and adding more visuals to the game. Great work!

Your text and page styling is really effective for your storytelling so far, but you can still do more to flesh out the theme for the player! I can see there are quite a few errors occurring, so make sure to test your game often to check your game for those errors often. Good work!

This is an interesting start! Rather than just making this an "escape the room," start to think about why the player character is escaping the room and possibly try and weave that into the story as it progresses, it doesn't have to be straightforward you can try being subtle about it. I can see you had fun playing with transitions and I think that was a nice visual way to engage your player into the story, and I can't wait to see what more you do with it! Good work!

This is a good start! I like how you are playing with the player's use of emotional/social intelligence for certain sections to affect the outcome and it could be an interesting direction to go. Going through this, I'm highly interested in the culture of this "winged" world and how you are going to reveal the story through the player character's story. It's also interesting how you're playing with the font and page color as well. Can't wait to see where you go with this, keep up the good work!

I'm really interested in this concept of a surreal conversation and the different paths that you have created. I think it would be helpful to develop this conversation more with the conversation style because I think that it is a very interesting format for the player's engagement. Good work!

This is a really great start to an interesting story! The way that you learn more about the situation you are placed right in the middle of with each decision you make is a really great way to slowly bring out more and more information to the player. The story so far leaves me wanting to know even more about the characters and the situation we, the player, have been put in. Keep up the good work!

This story has a sound core to it and I'm really interested as to how you can expand on it! Going forward this definitely has the potential to develop with choices that require social/emotional intelligence from the player; in doing so, you can continue working with the player's character development as well as the development of the rest of the characters within your story. It's also nice to see you working with images within the various passages. Good work!

This is a really interesting story that really plays into player empathy and thoughtful choices. Going forward, you could start to these characters more as to create more reasoning behind the choices that are made by the player. I'm interested as to where you take the visuals to support this story. Keep up the good work!

This has really great potential and I can't wait to see what you do when you get the other rooms fleshed out. It's interesting to see how you are playing with the visuals so far to create the spaces. Overall, it is very engaging so far and I can't wait to see where this goes! Good Job!

On a side note, make sure to check for grammar and spelling errors before your final version! 

This was very entertaining, to say the least! The dialogue and storytelling were very engaging, and I can't wait to see the continued story. When reviewing your game I noticed a few grammar mistakes, and there were a few missing images but that's about it. Keep up the good work and I can't wait to see where this goes!

Like Abe, the images did not load for me. But I think that this concept definitely has potential. As of right now, it seems like there aren't many decisions for the player to make (unless your plan is to make a linear story). Going forward I think for the player's experience consider adding more choices to increase the engagement of your players.

This is super intense and really sets a mood throughout each path! Going forward, I think it will be interesting to see where you take the illustrations and possibly sound effects (if you decide to use them). Each path felt different and genuine and I can't wait to see where this goes! Keep up the good work!