This is a really great game featuring story-heavy elements. I would suggest, though, separating the large paragraphs of text. These elements are very straining for some players and it sometimes was hard to keep up with what was going on, and keeping some of the characters straight. Even just taking the text that you already have and breaking them up into different sections would help. I would also suggest adding more visual elements to help engage the player into the story, even more, which would be very helpful! Otherwise, it's a fun experience and I had a good time playing through it! Good job!