Hey Blue, thank you for the INSANELY long review lmao.
I'll answer what stuck out to me, like, Chris is short of Christopher. It's not stated yet, but since you find it fitting, that's good.
Him failing to notice the ber is a result of multiple things, not just the hearing. Manfrey is distracting him and annoying him, then... The neck wound is pretty deep, he wouldn't expect the enemy to stand again. Check Manfrey's CG with the shiny chocha, you can see the open neck. Felt justified enough. He's more of a spy than a frontliner so I can see why this would happen.
Lastly, Moon Blade's name. Roar also wanted to change it, gave me a whole list but nothing really stuck out to me.
Moon Blade sounds nicer than Blade of the Moon, it gets too wordy. Also... You can't fit that in the display name. So DeviantArt OC it is and will be uwu
Ah yeah, the ESL. Bruh. Do I look native speaker to you? Both you and Golden told me no :(
As long as you understand the story, label that good enough.
This one is the most creative FVN out of this MayWolf batch! There are no sprites, it's all "CGs" so to speak and everything's handmade, paper-like, very cool.
I was surprised by how heavy the game was then I quickly realized why haha.
Unfortunately the story wasn't exactly my cup of tea, I prefer when the wolf actually exists.
Ok, so... I ended up only sharing half of my real thoughts please Blue don't incinerate me. The story had to grow on me because I couldn't get into it right away, the hook is missing, making the beginning of the game a bit of a slog to get through, it felt as though nothing was happening (Even if we were in the middle of a war).
Then we got around the halfway mark where you picked things up and I started changing my mind, but I think this is mostly subjective, never really been into war scenarios.
But I need to be objective, this is a really good work. From the UI, to the writing, the sprites, the CGs, the music, the BGs. Everything comes together perfectly and does exactly what you wanted it to do.
The wolf reminds me of those stopmotion characters and I really liked it.
We discussed this a lot already on Discord so I'll spare the copy paste, but if somebody is reading this I recommend the game. It's enjoyable, even if it has a fair amount of issues that need fixing. Pacing, character motivations, and the stakes need to be adjusted and this game will be a lot better.
In early patches, Id give 0, +1 or +2 to a choice, but I realized that it was getting too convoluted so all the latest patches give 0/0/+1 so, overall each choice is a +1 if it's the right one.
The score is a hidden mechanic that can only be seen in debug mode, but that's for coding nerds and I'm not one.
There are two endings. If you're getting the "try again" button at the end then you got the wrong one. If all 3 choices lead to that, it means your score isn't high enough, either give yourself max affinity or click the try again, it will adjust your score to give you a good ending.
Hello, thank you so much for enjoying TFN! This storyline is left open-ended on purpose to connect it and finish the whole arc inside Moonlight Castle.
You definitely brought a lot of good points and I agree many of the issues stem from having to squish the story together to fit the word count. I did mention this before, but I thought 20k was the actual limit and my word doc told me 19.9k (which strangely turned to 18k in post). So... there's that, but if you enjoyed the story, that's the most important thing!
First thing I wanna say is never feel bad for sharing your thoughts. As a creator, I go crazy for these in-depth analyses. It gives me that outside opinion I can't have because I'm too stuck in my own creations and you know how it is, maintaining a clear vision gets hard.
Overall everything you've said it's true. This is a spin-off so the missing context is meant to be in the main game, the whole story is Patrice trying to get over his first love and failing, that's it.
I will say, I learned about mouth guards near the end of writing the script so I shoved a random line in, without thinking too much. I'll have to go back in and fix it. Makes no sense.
Liam and Patrice are childhood friends so this is their usual banter. Also you're correct about that being weird, which is why Patrice mentions in passing that Liam ended up ghosting him after the break up. Patrice doesn't want to see him that way either. You don't have that friend who just... throws sexual jokes around/flirts but doesn't actually mean it?
I do understand your overall desire between wanting to learn more about Nia and less about Liam, this is just how it came out with the pre-existing knowledge of the main game already in place. I see now that it takes away a portion of the entertaining from the story.
I think love is a very subjective experience so... I want to believe, through Patrice's POV, that he did harbor genuine love and feelings for him but it was messy and they let their lack of experience carry them away. The only reason the end is abrupt was the word limit. I had in mind to add an additional scene at the end and readjust the overall speed.
Anyway, thank you so much for reading! I appreciated your feedback a lot.
