I getcha ^^ Sorry for being a nitpicky little bastard ^^;
FerreTrip
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A member registered Mar 02, 2019
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BTW, White Beach Peninsula? It's a cove. A peninsula is a bit of land sticking out into the water, surrounded on 3 sides. A cove is the opposite. Unless the walls have water around them, in which case it's overall a peninsula.
Speaking of, WOW that place is liberating when both your monsters can go in water! AND it has sharkies!
...While I'm thinking about it...are you making your portraits and main menu backgrounds JPEGs? Or are you trying to emulate a texture? If you're doing a texture thing, consider doing it to the portrait backgrounds too. You can tell that they're solid colors when next to the portraits.
awshioudnwsoad NAJARALAAAAAAAA!! It's so nice to see my favorite hasn't been forgotten, even if Capcom likes to pretend as much. Would be great to play as one, but you've already done a LOT of work with the 20 available, cute sprites and everything :)
Edit: And...holy crap. You...You went and made different portraits for other monsters?? I cheated to go Zamtrios and Great Jagras, and while there aren't as many expressions as Pukei-Pukei (absolutely adorable with the tongue btw!), I'm shocked you worked that hard! Even for us cheaters!!
Builds 10 & 11 Release Dates comments · Replied to Minoh Workshop in Builds 10 & 11 Release Dates comments
Pokedex-Accurate Dual-Type Pokemon Personality Test comments · Posted in Pokedex-Accurate Dual-Type Pokemon Personality Test comments
Okay, GREAT idea here, and some EPIC (if maybe melodramatic, but I suspect that's the Rayman aesthetic) presentation! But you gotta work on some of the visuals and mechanics!! Here are my suggestions, as in what I personally think could be done:
1. For God's sake, why does the cursor, which is already wicked huge and gets in the way of other squares, have to flip (and somewhat randomly since it's tied to velocity)? And not only that, why does it flip the hotspot of the cursor when it does? If you really want it to flip, flip it around the hotspot. I realize that you need something with a hitbox for the boss battles (which is a really novel idea, even if I'm not the biggest fan), but maybe tweak it a bit?
2. Having the P mark the Xed squares makes it kinda tricky to see. I ended up making some mistakes because of it. Perhaps have it cover the whole square? Or maybe just an X?
3. LET US SKIP THE TUTORIAL PLEEEEEEEASE QwQ
4. You have both a time limit AND mistake limit. That's...a bit much. Not only that, but you only get to make two mistakes before the next one ends the whole thing. With the difficulty telling what's what, and the flipping cursor, players could end up slowing way down. It also stresses folks out. Please either leave the health bar for boss battles, increase how much health we get, or both.
5. In addition to the Ps for Xes being odd, please change the font of the numbers to be simpler. When smaller, it's harder to figure out what they're supposed to be. There's nothing wrong with having boring fonts for numbers--legibility is paramount!
6. Something that helps a lot in the actual Picross games by Nintendo is having the numbers marked off as they're filled in for certain. That way, when a row/column is finished via clearing other ones, you know for sure. Some games even automatically fill the remaining gaps with Xes, but I'm personally not a fan of that. It's nice to X boxes out :)
7. Why is there no options menu?
Overall, definitely a lot of passion in this, and full of charm. The boss fights go against normal Picross sit-n-chill (I personally hate time limits and mistake penalties, as it is), but with only two attacks, it's not too hard to dodge. Just remember, you're already asking a player to think really hard for some puzzles--the fewer distractions, the better. I'm not sure I'm sold on the boss fights, honestly.
Do keep working on this, it's certainly a love letter to Rayman. I'm not very familiar with the series, but I'm a big fan of nonograms--that's where all my critique stems from. (Well, okay, there's one bit of critique on the Rayman side...why did you make beta!Rayman(?) look so...offputting? XD; ) This has a LOT of potential, and I wanna see this become a really cool fangame! But it still needs some work, IMO.
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Thanks again for replying! I definitely get some of your choices now. Just a few more comments.
First, I wanna say that you're pretty damn good at this if you're leaving furries—FURRIES!!—not wishing especially for the protag to be anthro and not human. You write Richter and Liz that damn well.
On that note, the humans themselves are designed well (particularly Liz's subtle smirk, love that). Normally, my biggest issue with humans is that they are, by default, light-skinned. I'm mixed, so I feel it's more important to have diversity in fiction. However, both's skin tones make sense geographically! Richter is subtly darker due to being from a pretty sunny place, while Liz grew up in the north where there's less sun. In fact, I realize now that Richter looking paler at the end makes sense, too, since he had been without much direct sunlight for weeks, let alone living up north for a couple months to begin with. Of course he'd lose his tan!
Second, I literally just now realized what you're going for with Adrius. Someone who has done dire wrong, but is every bit as complex a person as most real people who do so. My mother wrote about a serial killer who went after vampires, not realizing he was one, himself, and I was just reminded of him. Complex, even if not fully sympathetic. He later on amended his ways, but who knows about Adrius?
Third, def agree with your view on characterization and sex scenes. I'm a little on the ace spectrum, myself, so I believe sex has less important a role in a relationship than others; I believe that a relationship built outside of sex leads to much stronger bonds. You're also very respectful to us folks uninterested in smut in the middle of a story like this. Thank you.
Fourth...I can't help but worry if I've done a good or a bad thing with whatever food for thought I gave that you're still chewing on ^^;;
Keep on keepin' on!!
Okay, wow, this was...this was quite the ride, and I am definitely looking forward to more! Absolute passion project, I can see that.
Buuuuuuut...there are a few choices that I question. And of course some choices I am very, very happy with!! SPOILERS AHEAD!
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And this is all MY OPINION, just wanna stress that.
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1. The pace of the romance. A bit too fast ^^; Or at least it was too obvious after a time. Granted, I think you may've done a better job than Adastra, where it felt a little heavy-handed, though in both cases, there were time skips, so there's some excuse (but really I think I enjoyed this romance better). I dunno, I'm not too good with romance subplots :P (And not trying to blast Adastra, it's still excellent! Just expressing an opinion about a part of it.)
2. Adrius. After reading the whole thing, I can tell you mean for Adrius to be a very complicated character. However, I feel you made it too obvious in the beginning that he's evil—he's the ONLY asshole character we meet, and he ends up being the bad guy. Further, I don't feel much sympathy for the guy after learning he murdered his own father out of frustration that his mom's death wasn't being avenged quickly enough, and then seeing him be absolutely despicable with the way he treated Richter. Speaking of, dunno if it was considered adult and I coulda skipped it, but there was really no reason to have us sit through hours of poor Rich getting tortured like he was. That was a bit much. (Again, my opinion!) And then in the end, after making us hate Adrius with a fiery passion, not only do we get to see him get off relatively scott-free, but...I feel like you want us to have some sort of pity for him. I wish he'd remained the sweetie he was in his childhood, but as he is now, he's irredeemable. Am I looking at this the wrong way?
3. The trial. It feels like a bit of a waste of time seeing as the judge is also the prosecution (though I'm aware that was probably part of the point). No matter what, Richter was going to lose. Not only that, but it wasn't much of a trial as it was nothing but people saying what they thought of Richter. There was no lawyer to cross-examine and fact check; doing so could've convinced the crowd that Adrius doing the cop-out was indeed bullshit because it goes against the logical arguments presented. But hey, I'm just an Ace Attorney fanboy, so I guess I expected differently ^^; In the end, though, it kinda feels like we were strung along with some sort of hope when it turns out there wasn't any to begin with. (That said, I can understand the choice—it shows further just how utterly fucked up Lyre's high society is.)
4. All that said, now that I think about it, I think maybe the post-murder part could have been done a bit more quickly.
5. Tiny, but did you mean to have Lyall's sketch if Richter look like Jesus? Because if so, a little on the nose, doncha think? XD
BUT! I also have lots of praise!:
1. Tygren is a really unique character, I love them! They're a god, yes, but clearly unable to do as much as they'd like to. It actually reminds me of Marco and the Monitor from Adastra, in that the protag is frustrated with a seemingly all-powerful being not being forthcoming. This time though, there is a personal bond between Richter and Ty, whereas Marco and the Monitor was much more strained. In both cases, we have a vexed higher power who wants to help the poor humie but has tied hands. Richter got upset, but still worried a lot about poor Ty because of the bond they formed. Can't wait to see more of this handsome hybrid!
2. YOU LET US SKIP THE SEX SCENE. Dear sweet God THANK YOU. The story itself was too damn good, and I didn't wanna have to mash my screen to get past it like I did Adastra (again, not bashing Adastra! Just an opinion!). Not only that, but there was only ONE scene. You focused on the story and, most of all, respected us folks who were more interested in that than the smut. So seriously, thanks for that.
3. Lyall is fucking adorable and a precious bean who must be protected. I think I liked him better than Amicus, honestly, even if I found the latter more attractive. While I think the romance coulda been handled a little better somehow, I think you did a much better job with him than the way Amicus was handled. (Once more, not bashing Adastra! ^^; )
4. You made humans a little interesting!! Giving them a healing factor like that helps make them stand out from all the interesting anthro races. You also made it refreshing to see Elizabeth, another human, once in a while, which is impressive considering how tired I am of human characters.
5. The music. Need I say more?
6. Lief is also adorable and precious and we need more of him. One of my favorites! (That all said, I was a bit peeved to see him and Liz tolerate Adrius' bullshit like that; I was expecting them to ditch him by story's end.) As someone pointed out, clever making the healer's name an anagram for "life".
7. The backgrounds!! Absolutely beautiful work!! Kickass character work too ^^ My only complaint is it was a bit hard to tell when Lyall was smiling while talking, but that's minor.
8. Richter himself is a good protag. Relatable but still his own person—better than the typical VN romance protags who are often kinda milquetoast. He's a workaholic, deep thinker, and determined man who manages to keep some mysteries to himself to the end...even one he isn't fully aware of! Great work!
That's all for now. Looking forward to Dryz!
You're welcome! Just glad I wasn't too harsh qwq;
As for more feedback, AAAAAA WHAT A CLIFFHANGERRRRR YOU MEANIEEEE! Just got to the current end of Darrell's route, really loving it. Apart from the tense thing, you're doing pretty well! Dunno if I wanna go down Chester's route, but I do wanna know more about that subplot. Looking forward to more soon! ^^
Also, an idea I've had for ages that I think would work great for Trent: having him utter, "Parallel fifths and octaves!" as an oath. (Don't get it? Ask your Music Theory friends ;) )
I see someone's already on typo patrol, so I'm just gonna say this:
This story is GREAT so far! Loving the hunks, tho of course I'm wishing for at least one reptile, heh X3 ...But please, stop mixing tense the way you have been in narration. (Folks misuse tense all the time in conversation, so no worries there.)
I'm not trying to shit on you, I promise—tense can be tricky! But you've sometimes got one sentence in past tense but then another in present in the same text box. If you're mixing tense, you should do so sparingly, and for only where it makes sense. Here's an example:
*: We get in the car.
*transition*
*: We drove for a few minutes, chatting here and there. It wasn't very eventful, otherwise. Now, we're here, back at the store.
Use it to refer to things that definitively happened in the past that we didn't see clearly, like after time skips or talking about something a character did in the past, if you use it at all. The place I most recently found issue with was during the Pollos scene with Trent:
*: . . .I take a chip and dip it into the bowl and shoveled the ensemble into my mouth."
You mixed tense in the same sentence ^^; Common mistake, don't worry, I do it too. That said, earlier, you did do it more understandably:
*: We paid. . .retrieved. . .and returned. . .
*: He pokes around his bowl with a fork.
This works here because it's summarizing a bunch of boring actions in succession before getting back to the present. I would have done it present the whole way because it's all in the same scene, no transition or time skip, but this is perfectly valid, too!
Technically speaking, it's unusual to mix tense in a narrative, mostly outside of stuff like, "Jack seems confident—he did this same thing as a kid tons of times—and winds up like a baseball pitcher to throw the rubber chicken." But I mix tense myself, so I would be a hypocrite to take the easy route and say don't do it at all ^^; Just be aware of why you decide to change tense and when/where.
Other than that, I'm quite enjoying this story! I have a BA in Music, so I'm looking forward to seeing Eddy learn more about the wonderful world of it. The voice acting is also really great—and it's not too much. Loads of VNs try to have a LOT of voice acting, some are fully voiced, but I find that can get a little annoying at times.
Finally, I stopped to write this to ask something, mainly: when the hell did you get into my mind to write Trent's big voiced line during lunch? Because holy crap was I hearing an echo! Very good work there, makes him relatable! (I also related to Eddy at that time, heh.)
Terribly sorry if this was rude at all >_<; Just wanted to give some advice.
What I'm doin till I get back into GAMES comments · Posted in What I'm doin till I get back into GAMES comments
Just finished reading Adastra. VERY good work, never thought I'd wanna read a political novel. My only nitpicks (aside from a few errors I was thankfully able to pass over) are that I wish there was an option to skip sex scenes—I was so interested in the story, I felt like they got in the way, the story is that good!—and, most importantly, I feel there shoulda been more leadup to the romance. I get there were time skips, but I still wish we saw more connection between the two. (I also felt like the human was a liiiittle bland, but his cleverness made up for that.)
So for this, I'm looking forward to seeing more relationship development. Chemistry, that's what I'm looking for! And Scipio off the bat looks to be full of character. That first image tells me that he is a complete and utter dork, and I am gonna love this.
Good luck, Echo Project!!
Hmmm, might have seen another bug. Some event flags may well be permanently hit. SPOILER WARNING!
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On a different playthrough, I talked to the hosts before Cap. I still got the "I think about horses again" thing when I only encountered horses then. Ven also said it had mentioned board games when it hadn't yet while talking to it. Are these bugs?
Absolutely loved this! Cap is the BEST. Only a couple nitpicks:
I swear we learn from another character that the owner is serious about their pronouns, but when we stare at them after, we are forced to go down the misgendering route ^^; I really do want to see how they react to proper flirting, because WOW talk about charisma.
Also, I'd love a gallery feature so we can enjoy at least the endings without a text box popping up. (Emulating on Android so I can't hit the hide key :( )
Thank you and everyone else who's worked on this, and I look forward to a bigger story with this flock of fun flamingos!
Wow, what expectations I had were blown clear outta the water. I feel like the deluge of BS happening to Lucian in the first few chapters when things get really rolling was maybe a bit much ^^; But still a fantastic story so far that subverts a lot of visual novel expectations! Interesting brand of horror, too—not the gory kind, but the freaky weird kind. Plus some great humor moments! A good story needs a sense of humor.
I personally feel for Lucian. He has a LOT going on, poor guy, but is still called selfish and whiny—I have some shit going on and the same happens to me. It can be a bit difficult to realize when you're being selfish. I get the feeling I am far from the only one, so I think it's good to have this be a teachable theme.
Only problem I really have is that the punctuation isn't used well in places, and there are a number of spelling or word use mistakes. I'm really only bothered because such a well-written story deserves to look a little more professional ^^; I could still understand it, tho, so not a huge deal :)
Gonna keep tabs on this! Just hope it doesn't get SUPER dark....