I see someone's already on typo patrol, so I'm just gonna say this:
This story is GREAT so far! Loving the hunks, tho of course I'm wishing for at least one reptile, heh X3 ...But please, stop mixing tense the way you have been in narration. (Folks misuse tense all the time in conversation, so no worries there.)
I'm not trying to shit on you, I promise—tense can be tricky! But you've sometimes got one sentence in past tense but then another in present in the same text box. If you're mixing tense, you should do so sparingly, and for only where it makes sense. Here's an example:
*: We get in the car.
*transition*
*: We drove for a few minutes, chatting here and there. It wasn't very eventful, otherwise. Now, we're here, back at the store.
Use it to refer to things that definitively happened in the past that we didn't see clearly, like after time skips or talking about something a character did in the past, if you use it at all. The place I most recently found issue with was during the Pollos scene with Trent:
*: . . .I take a chip and dip it into the bowl and shoveled the ensemble into my mouth."
You mixed tense in the same sentence ^^; Common mistake, don't worry, I do it too. That said, earlier, you did do it more understandably:
*: We paid. . .retrieved. . .and returned. . .
*: He pokes around his bowl with a fork.
This works here because it's summarizing a bunch of boring actions in succession before getting back to the present. I would have done it present the whole way because it's all in the same scene, no transition or time skip, but this is perfectly valid, too!
Technically speaking, it's unusual to mix tense in a narrative, mostly outside of stuff like, "Jack seems confident—he did this same thing as a kid tons of times—and winds up like a baseball pitcher to throw the rubber chicken." But I mix tense myself, so I would be a hypocrite to take the easy route and say don't do it at all ^^; Just be aware of why you decide to change tense and when/where.
Other than that, I'm quite enjoying this story! I have a BA in Music, so I'm looking forward to seeing Eddy learn more about the wonderful world of it. The voice acting is also really great—and it's not too much. Loads of VNs try to have a LOT of voice acting, some are fully voiced, but I find that can get a little annoying at times.
Finally, I stopped to write this to ask something, mainly: when the hell did you get into my mind to write Trent's big voiced line during lunch? Because holy crap was I hearing an echo! Very good work there, makes him relatable! (I also related to Eddy at that time, heh.)
Terribly sorry if this was rude at all >_<; Just wanted to give some advice.