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Connor Thomas Cleary

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A member registered Jun 03, 2015 · View creator page →

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Unless, of course, that difficulty in readability was an intentional reflection of the story's subject matter. In which case I'd say: That's a good notion, but it could be made to feel more intentional.

On the creative level, some of the sentence-level writing feels a bit unpolished, and all the characters seem to have the same voice. Also, I've worked with children a fair amount in my life, and I think we often fail to realize how smart children are. They "get" a lot more than we give them credit for, they just don't really have the words or means of expressing themselves that we expect to accompany complex emotional experiences. But that doesn't mean their emotional world is overly simple, which is how the player-character's feelings seemed to be conveyed.

Overall, though, you managed to convey an atmosphere and tell a difficult story, which isn't easy to do with only text, music, and a few graphics.

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I appreciated the use of music, and how the shifting background colors places you in different locations. This is a difficult story to convey well, so I appreciate the ambition, and the desire to elicit empathy in your audience.

I appreciated your critique on my game, so I wanted to share my thoughts on yours as well.

On a technical note: Some of the text colors make it difficult to read -- particularly on the watercolor background -- it might be worth playing with the 'text-shadow' CSS property to make the text more readable ( https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/CSS/t... -- do note that text-shadow isn't supported in IE versions lower than 10) or perhaps adding a solid colored background to the text elements on the more difficult background.

Hey, Tophat Haze,

Thanks so much for checking out my game!

I'm sorry if you experienced bugs with the variables. When Tyg decides your character for you, he'll either say "dude" or "dudette" to tell you the gender the randomization has assigned to you. I'll definitely take a look to see if it's something I can rectify.

And I do apologize if you were seeing cursing in the game after turning on the language filter! The choice was certainly intended to alter some of the language in the game so players can tailor their experience. Please feel free to drop me a line at connorthomascleary@gmail.com to let me know which words you found objectionable -- that way I can figure out whether it's a bug, or whether I should tone the language down further when that choice is selected. Thanks again!