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Unless, of course, that difficulty in readability was an intentional reflection of the story's subject matter. In which case I'd say: That's a good notion, but it could be made to feel more intentional.

On the creative level, some of the sentence-level writing feels a bit unpolished, and all the characters seem to have the same voice. Also, I've worked with children a fair amount in my life, and I think we often fail to realize how smart children are. They "get" a lot more than we give them credit for, they just don't really have the words or means of expressing themselves that we expect to accompany complex emotional experiences. But that doesn't mean their emotional world is overly simple, which is how the player-character's feelings seemed to be conveyed.

Overall, though, you managed to convey an atmosphere and tell a difficult story, which isn't easy to do with only text, music, and a few graphics.