Hey, I'm glad you like it! and thank you very much for the feedback, it's super useful. I also think the hook is vague, it ended up being an open scenario rather than a fully defined adventure.
I'm really interested in your feedback so I can improve the weak parts: Which part was confusing to you?
IMO, after the introduction, it's not clear where to start the adventure.
Viewing post in Otherworldly Flesh jam comments
Well, I actually think it's interesting that there are multiple entrance choices, but I agree that maybe one of them should be more prominent.
Let's see, confusing bits... Hmm, re-reading this, I can only find one. Or else I understood it better the second time LOL
"Disembodied shadows hide among the trees. They get excited by the sweet scent of fruits, beware."
Wait, so they're always excited? It looks like all the trees have fruit.