I’m really glad that you have that platform and that space to be your best self in your videos :3 Your happiness definitely shines in your videos and is infectious, haha. It’s a shame that you can’t extend that sense of being able to fully be yourself in other parts of life :( I feel you though because I can only really be my happiest, most authentic version of myself when in the safety of my home, haha. Every time I step outside, it’s like I take a bag of masks with me and wear whichever one I feel I need to at the time x3 and I’m painfully aware that my masks aren’t even adequate, haha.
At the ASD support group I’m attending right now, they have told us to try our best to embrace that we’re neurodivergent, to try and let go of the masks and the self-monitoring and just be the way we were before we realised we had to cover it all up x3 Which is a nice sentiment, but it’s easier said than done! If I’m being completely honest, sometimes I don’t even know who I am xD I’ve tried to squeeze myself into so many different shapes over the years in (failed) attempts to fit in that I feel like I consist of fragments of a person, and I’m not entirely sure what’s actually me and what’s leftover shards of some sort of performance >.<
I guess I never really had that opportunity as a kid/young person to explore/discover who I might be because I was too busy using all my energy trying to blend in as a matter of survival x3 That sounds so tragic now that I write it down o.o”
I’m not sure what it’s like where you are, but where I live, we still have that sort of stubbornness in older generations who don’t believe mental health is a thing x3 That it’s just youngsters are too sensitive these days, they need to pull their socks up, stop moaning, and get on with it! Sort of attitude >.< Even my own mum, who isn’t THAT old, doesn’t really get mental health like it’s something other people have made up because they’re too weak to handle life o.O I can’t talk to her about anything like that because it just does not compute with her even a tiny bit.
And then you have the government and the media over here saying stuff like young people are ‘Generation Sick Note - Too lazy to work’ >.< Which just completely dismisses the fact that a huuuuge chunk of the reason people are too ill to work is because their mental health has gotten so bad! I don’t understand how in this day and age, people can still be so smallminded when it comes to mental health so much so as to accuse people struggling with poor mental health of being lazy :(
And then the worst part is, they expect you to get better without any help!
I think younger people are more clued up and more open about discussing mental health stuff, but yeah, we have a loooong way to go still when it comes to general understanding of how it impacts people >.<
Anyways, it means a lot to me that you felt that way about the game :3 It was always gonna be one of those obscure things that probably only interests a few people x3 but still, I have to thank you again for choosing to make a video of it! I've only had a chance to watch about half of your video so far, but I have to say that all your commentary and stuff is so heartwarming x3 You've handled such a sensitive topic with such a huge and caring heart <3 Aaaand, you still managed to make me laugh out loud more than once xD Digimon, hehe, now there are some happy childhood memories :D I reckon if Saffie had someone like you in her life for a while, she probably wouldn't have felt the need to go wandering off into the woods!
But yeah, even just from your comments here and the comments of others on the project, I’m glad that I decided to share it in the end because to know it resonates with anyone at all means the world to me and is also extremely validating on a personal level. If someone does end up feeling heard or seen as a result of your video, that would be incredible. I know for me, just having people on my side who accept and make an effort to understand me makes a world of difference because feeling invisible and alone is so isolating >.<
Man, that sounds like a pretty powerful video! I can see it playing out in my head just from your description, haha. As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve essentially done that at times myself >.< I wish I knew why it’s so much easier to hold on to 1 single negative thing than a whole bunch of positives. It seems so illogical x3 As much as I try to be the sort of person who doesn’t let the bad stuff get under my skin, it somehow always does. 1 stupid cruel comment shouldn't have the power to drown out an ocean of positivity T_T
I’d love to know what it is about someone’s journey through life that allows them to totally shrug off negative stuff like it hardly even touches them, haha. I see people who are super confident and think to myself… how?! How have you attained this level of confidence and where can I acquire it too, please? x3
I really like visual aids for things like this though, so I think I might have to borrow what you said about trying to imagine carrying the full jar of all the good things :3 I reckon it might help me keep it in mind cos while I feel like I’m doing a slightly better job at it nowadays, I still have a tendency to let the negative seep in when I’ve been having a hard time >.< I sometimes try to imagine negative comments like little black bouncy balls, and when I read something that makes me feel crappy, try to envision just booting it with all my strength so it just flies off into the distance in the hope that I might not keep dwelling on it xD